private DO YOU MISS ME, YOU SAD LADY // COTTONSPRIG

[juncoclaw]

The days without Cottonsprig feel long and pointless. Junco is no longer greeted kindly each morning, at her own request, and pays her food-bringer no similar friendliness. It is only necessity that makes her eat, now. The distaste that other cats afford her sink in heavier each day, and she feels her heart ache for the comfort of her poor unrequited love. But.. despite all, Junco does not give in.

The pawsteps that approach her burrow are unfamiliar; they are heavy and lumbering, a sign of a cat twice the weight of softly-stepping Cottonsprig. The scent that hits her nose, too, is slightly different - but the unknowing nose might not pick up such details. Junco's aware of her presence before she even speaks, but stubbornly does not turn to look up at her. With her back towards the approaching medicine cat, she wants to make a point clear: she is, despite her heart screaming for closure, not interested.

But the presence doesn't leave. A sense of unease puts Junco's fur on end like static through the heavy air, and eventually, she turns. "What do you want?" the molly demands with a thick voice and a tight frown. She is expecting Cottonsprig to grovel and beg for forgiveness. Or, perhaps, rekindle their friendship already while the wound is still fresh. In any case, she'd send her away just the same. But.. there is a certain sorrowful finality to the way the blue she-cat looks at her that makes her heart sink, if it could fall any further.

"You've figured it out," Junco rasps, quietly. There is no question, no guessing - she knows Cottonsprig enough to discern that look in her eyes. Carefully, to avoid strain on her sore limbs, Junco shuffles and turns to face Cottonsprig now, letting herself be attentive despite her original bitter intents.
​

CHARACTER INFORMATION — ♡ ˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗ ♡ — OUT OF CHARACTER

• juncokit juncopaw JUNCOCLAW "JUNCO" ━━ penned by ixora
  ━━ BARNCAT
  ━━ 14 MOONS,, ages every 21st
  ━━ CASSO xx BUDGE
  ━━ MATE to none | PARENT to none
  ━━ MENTOR to none | FORMERLY MENTORED by mockinggrin
  ━━ HEALTH ♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎ | junco is healthy.​
• 
  
  
• speech is #6a7d8a​

 

[cottonsprig]

She's slinked around the edges of camp, entertained small talk for only minutes before moving on. Sorry, I'm busy, she would say. It's all she can stomach before moving on. It feels like every step she makes is too heavy, too lumbering - that her rounding belly is far too noticeable despite her long fur obscuring most of it. She has to go, she has to leave. Paranoia now sinks into her bones as she grabs a plump mouse from the fresh-kill pile and makes her long winded path towards... a friend. A former friend. It still hurts.

She arrives to see the other's spine, curved away from her as it had been the last few times she's been late. But she knows this time it is not the same. It is not petty behavior to be overturned in a moment's breath, it is an act of pain and distrust - of forced distance between the two of them. And though Cottonsprig's heart breaks, she acts as close as to how she would have before. She places the mouse near Junco, an ear folded back to listen for others should they amble by.

"What do you want?" Junco says. Cottonsprig finds her voice coming out in a croak yet with nothing at all. Her mouth is dry and she cannot fathom a string of words that'd make sense. The medicine can't say much at all that won't further upset the warrior - but then why is she here? To further express her misery and pain? To force the silver tabby to look at her and feel guilt more than resentment? She feels gross, to acknowledge that there are parts of her selfish enough to want the other to feel sad for her.

Look at me, she pleads in silence. She let's it stretch for too long between them. The other eventually turns, frustration and hurt in her half-blinded eyes and Cottonsprig only wants to collapse in a puddle of tears. As much as she wanted the other to look at her, now she wants her to look away. What use was saving her in the weeks prior when she was only going to break Junco's heart in the end?

Stop it. She feels tears in her eyes. She doesn't know who she's willing to halt, what she wants to end.

Be nice to me. It's selfish, it's disgusting. Feel sad for me. She feels a now-familiar roiling in her gut and she swallows thickly. Please. Anything but this.

"I'm leaving, Junco." She says, finally.​

 

[juncoclaw]

Cottonsprig looks.. pathetic, to a vindictive eye. Her blue eyes, once wonderous and beautiful, are worn and tired. They plead, they cry, they scream and spite. Angrily, Junco thinks she deserves it. That she did this to herself. She prepares for any sob stories or apologies to fall on deaf ears, and for pleas for help to be swiftly denied as they had been before.

But what actually comes out sends ice through her veins. I'm leaving. Junco's eyes widen and her brows furrow in surprise. "Leaving?" she echoes distantly. Leaving.. to where? Last she heard, their neighbor Clans hardly viewed them as any more than the tyrants they once were. And, also last she checked, Cottonsprig is breaking the warrior code. What Clan cat in their right mind would harbor a pregnant medicine cat from a rival Clan?

"And just where do you think you'll go?" Junco demands. She is angry, still, no doubt; but there is worry in her voice now, and it wavers with emotion. "You think you can keep yourself and your kits alive by yourself? Leaf-fall is just around the corner, you know." Stay here. Stay alive, she pleads silently. Surely it is worth a little scrutiny to keep your loved ones alive. It's what Junco was going through, after all, and even if she's in a quarrel with the medicine cat, she still doesn't fully regret it.

​

CHARACTER INFORMATION — ♡ ˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗ ♡ — OUT OF CHARACTER

• juncokit juncopaw JUNCOCLAW "JUNCO" ━━ penned by ixora
  ━━ BARNCAT
  ━━ 16 MOONS,, ages every 21st
  ━━ CASSO xx BUDGE
  ━━ MATE to none | PARENT to none
  ━━ MENTOR to none | FORMERLY MENTORED by mockinggrin
  ━━ HEALTH ♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎ | junco is healthy.​
• 
  
  
• speech is #6a7d8a​