private (DON'T) LET GO ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ VIGILS

[ROARINGSUN]

〔✦〕A mutiny. A mutiny which killed several of their clanmates - all alike under the scrutinizing gaze of Skyclaw and his followers. Honeykit had lost their mother, Freckleflame and her family mourned the death of Mousenose more than anyone else — and Howlingstar, their leader, killed by her own grandson. Roaringpaw wondered how he could've been so cruel, his own flesh and blood. ( And he cared about blood a whole ton, the way he exiled those with even the slightest bit of kittypet heritage ).

Would it have made a difference if they hadn't been sent away? Would they have fought for their Clan and won? Maybe they all wouldn't be here, now, so far from their home and so afraid of the future.

"Um," He clears his throat, all awkward and feeling so small - like he's a kit again. "We... we may not have all the bodies to mourn. . . but we have the memories." Maybe that's enough. Is something he can't bring himself to day, because he knows it's not true. They should be griving back in ThunderClan camp with their clanmates, not out in the wilderness like a band of rogues. It was not fair. He wishes he could share tongues one last time, wanted to help with the burial, but he couldn't.

"I don't wanna drag on too long," The apprentice murmurs, wrapping his tail around his body. He would stay up the entire night, he was certain of that. "Howlingstar was the first Leader I ever met, and I'm glad she let me join ThunderClan. Glad she gave me a chance. I wish she got to see me become a warrior and got to give me the name I will carry for the rest of my life." He wonders what it would've been - maybe he'd ask if they met again.

I took a little journey to the unknown ( Ive come back changed, I can feel it in my bones ) //

• ooc. for the thc exiles
• ROARINGPAW —— apprentice of thunderclan , mentored by leafhusk . npc x npc . littermate to npcs ✦ penned by nocthymia
  ✦ male / he/him / 11 moons & ages every 14ᵗʰ
  ✦ single / orientation & poly or mono / open/closed to romance
  ✦ peaceful and healing powerplay permitted / underline & tag account when attacking
  —— combat details here / battle notes
  
  ✦ "speech", 'thoughts', all opinions are in character
  ✦ tags — msg on discord (hypmic) for plots — toyhouse
  
• reference image here
  

  a longhaired flame sepia with low white and amber-brown eyes.

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[LITTLEBIRD]

༻ ♥༺ None of this was reality, Littlepaw had nearly convinced herself of that. No, her overactive imagination had twisted together this nightmare world, where Skyclaw had sunk his teeth into his grandmothers throat and thrown her from High Rock, where clanmates tore apart clanmates for the blood that ran through their veins.

There was so much of it, it had bubbled above the soil and stained the grass long after the body had been moved, Littlepaw remembers stealing glances at the rusted pools despite reasonable thought. She forced herself to.
Look what you have done. The voices had insisted.
Look what you could have stopped. A distorted tune croons, Howlingstar, she could have sworn.

Littlepaw's ears are flat, watching Roaringpaw in unintentional contempt. It wasn't his fault, her features were just all twisty. Her muscles burn against the tension of her shaking, but she cannot stop. That morning where they had been allowed to walk away from all they'd ever known puts a chill in Littlepaw's bones, still. A courtesy from Skyclaw. Skyclaw. Her tender-hearted uncle, who was simply just looking out for his beloved leader. Wh-who had cared so much, in fact, that he had sought out Littlepaw after she had stumbled upon his hushed conversation.
The apprentice screws her eyes shut against his honey-smooth explanation.

Thump, Howlingstars body echoes, despite Littlepaw's best efforts to shut the sound out from her memory. Now, she knows. She knows it had all been a lie, because the Skyclaw that had talked with her that day was gone. If he ever existed. Littlepaw cracks her jaw open, sucking in cool night air with so much force it turns to ice between her teeth.

Each sentiment spoken feels suffocating, but Littlepaw doesn't let herself shut their words out. However small and unorthodox this vigil was, Roaringpaws goodbyes are lovely.
Look at what you could have stopped.
Littlepaw hangs her head.

Feeling disappointed in herself, that is all the chimera apprentice is able to do. There is no body to mourn, no words she can bring herself to speak. Littlepaw's breath hitches, a threat of one of her hiccup outbreaks. She holds it.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎┌── IVE GOT SO MUCH HONEY ⋅ ✩ ⋅ THE BEES ENVY ME ──┐‎

• 

• 
  LITTLEPAW ✩ she/her, apprentice of thunderclan, 6 moons.
  ⭃ powerfully built and dense-furred chocolate smoked she-cat with amber eyes and black ribboning stretching across her face, foreleg, and tail.
  ⭃ daughter of Roeflame && Burnstorm ࿏ sister to Beetlepaw && Dovepaw
  ⭃ peaceful and healing powerplay permitted / / underline and tag when attacking
  ⭃ penned by Noor ↛ @toyangel on discord, feel free to dm for plots.

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