private DON'T TAKE IT AWAY // howlingstar

[skyclaw]

Saying that he's not spoken with his former mentor since that incident would be an exaggeration. Skyclaw has certainly been in conversation with his grandmother around, and perhaps bid her bouts of small talk here and there to keep up appearances. But up until recently, he felt betrayed by her. By each of them, really - even whilst a 'mama's boy' he can't help but feel his skin sear at the thought of Little Wolf. He loves her just as he loves his grandmother (affection that cannot be said for Blazestar, of course,) but he needed time.

Time, it seems, has been all but enough. His brother walks in the stars with their parents now, and Skyclaw cannot help but wonder if he's happier there. Guilt of being nearly eats the mottled tom alive every day - but, in his slow amble towards Howlingstar's den he realizes - he's never asked Duskbird how the other has felt about it. Self consumed and all too self important, he's let one of the very few in his life slip though his paws without properly telling them how much he's cared. His chest hurts.

"Howlingstar," he greets first, a respectful dip of his head, before he prompts a quiet, "I'd like to talk with you." He waits, patient, for the other to beckon him into her den before doing just that.

It's an uncomfortably long pause while he tries to find the right words to say. His tail curls around his body and though he is full grown, size rivaling that of his leader, he cannot help but feel small. "My brother and sister - they've each a litter, now. In two seasons, those kittens will be apprentices, and I one of the many you have to choose from in order to guide them -" he starts, slow and calculated. His tone shifts as though he will request a specific little tot to pull beneath his wing, but instead, he exhales. Rarely is he selfless. Rarely is he like her daughter, who's life was given for a mottled SkyClan apprentice. And yet, he starts again, his tone softer.

"I cannot fathom mentoring a child of my siblings without the two of them knowing the truth. It feels like a lie even if I never speak it so plainly to them again."

Another pause, and he brings his amber gaze towards Howlingstar once more. "I am unsure if Duskbird would've wanted this - but at the sun's set, it's a choice neither of us made. I - I don't wish to muddy Little Wolf's name -" Blazestar's is conveniently left out, "- but her elder children should know. Regardless - regardless of mentorship and the future, Burnstorm and Moonwhisper should know."​

 

[HOWLINGSTAR]

Things haven't been the same between her and Skyclaw since...well, a lot. His sudden coldness towards her ever since Blazestar's death has not gone unnoticed, and she can understand why. It was a horrible secret to keep from him, but one she continued to hold onto anyway for his own good. That's what she believed, at least. It's what she and Little Wolf both believed. She wanted to spare him and his brother from the knowledge that they were just as half-clan as their elder siblings, just as torn between borders. She never wanted them to feel that division. She never wanted them to feel that judgment from their peers.

But the secret is out to her grandson, even if no one else. She looks up as he asks to speak with her, placing the paw she was grooming back on the ground. "Of course," She mews, inviting him in with a flick of her tail. She has never turned away kin at her den, and now will be no different. She sits up and waits patiently (albeit a little nervously) as he ponders what to say. When he finally speaks, her ears twitch, focused. She is surprised to hear what he brings up, and for a moment, she thinks they will do the same as Burnstorm and request the chance to mentor one of them himself. But instead, the conversation takes a different turn. They want to tell their older siblings.

Howlingstar's eyes widen slightly, but she is nodding before she can think. Of course she understands where he is coming from. And she agrees. "If that is what you want, Skyclaw...we can tell them. On your terms." ​