- Apr 26, 2023
- 71
- 11
- 8
As soon as Oakfang allows Marigoldpaw to finish his duties for the day, he takes a moment to himself as he slowly walks back to camp. A heavy sigh escapes him, glad to be alone for a brief moment. Him having to sleep with so many cats in the apprentice den is bad enough, and sometimes Oakfang makes him feel like he’s going insane. He’s still a bit uneasy around him, but it’s gotten better with time. Still, being alone to clear his head finally is exactly what he needs right now.
Lately, the loneliness has gnawed at him much worse than it ever has. It’s hard for him to say that he has any close friendships, but he allows it on purpose. As long as he can remember, his thoughts continues to tell him that he deserves to be abandoned, and he listens. After all, he was left to die on purpose. What if ThunderClan never found him? Maybe it would have been better. It’s not like he does much except waste precious resources that could go to someone more important.
Marigoldpaw then gets hit with the memory of seeing his Wrenflutter’s dead body, lost to the plague that was Yellowcough. He stops in his tracks, freezing up. Both of the only mothers he’s ever known have left him…who else will? Will Tybalt die too? Sunfreckle? Maybe even Sunshinepaw, whose birth he witnessed along with their subsequent sickness? Would something else come and claim him? It hurts to think about, and he frowns deeply as he can feel his eyes start to water.
He suddenly feels like he can’t think at all, and drops to the ground, curling in on himself. Maybe he should just…stay here. Stay here, away from it all, away from ThunderClan, and let himself slowly decay. Would they even come looking for him? Probably not. They know just how useless he actually is now, it would be better if they just left him. Left him like his own mother did, the one who is supposed to love you unconditionally.
Before his anxiety can rise any higher, however, he spots a flash of orange coming closer to him, and he doesn’t move to stop it. Luckily, it’s not something coming over to pick on east prey, but instead a monarch butterfly. It lands on his tail, and his eyes widen. He doesn’t try to shoo it away, just stares in awe. He finds that his negative feelings are all blown away in the breeze, leaving behind a sense of wonder from the spotted creature instead.
The creme point slowly swishes his tail closer to his face, and the butterfly allows it. His anguished expression changes into a shaky smile as he watches it flaps its wings. “Hello there…are you all alone too?” Marigoldpaw asks the creature softly, trying not to be too loud in case he scares it away. Of course, it does not respond, but that’s okay. “Do you need a friend? I’ll be your friend.” He giggles, and he’s surprised at himself. He’s being way too silly for what just happened. But, maybe that’s okay.
He continues to watch the monarch butterfly for awhile, enjoying its company as he can feel himself coming back to reason. He’s certain that the negative feelings will come back, but for now, they are quelled. With a newly cleansed mind, he also comes to realize that, even if sometimes it feels like he might lose it all, maybe there would be something to help him back up. Even if it was something as stupid as a really pretty butterfly.
When it finally takes off for good, he doesn’t feel sadness, but instead a sense of revitalization. And with that, he finally stands back up, heading home.
// OOC :
Lately, the loneliness has gnawed at him much worse than it ever has. It’s hard for him to say that he has any close friendships, but he allows it on purpose. As long as he can remember, his thoughts continues to tell him that he deserves to be abandoned, and he listens. After all, he was left to die on purpose. What if ThunderClan never found him? Maybe it would have been better. It’s not like he does much except waste precious resources that could go to someone more important.
Marigoldpaw then gets hit with the memory of seeing his Wrenflutter’s dead body, lost to the plague that was Yellowcough. He stops in his tracks, freezing up. Both of the only mothers he’s ever known have left him…who else will? Will Tybalt die too? Sunfreckle? Maybe even Sunshinepaw, whose birth he witnessed along with their subsequent sickness? Would something else come and claim him? It hurts to think about, and he frowns deeply as he can feel his eyes start to water.
He suddenly feels like he can’t think at all, and drops to the ground, curling in on himself. Maybe he should just…stay here. Stay here, away from it all, away from ThunderClan, and let himself slowly decay. Would they even come looking for him? Probably not. They know just how useless he actually is now, it would be better if they just left him. Left him like his own mother did, the one who is supposed to love you unconditionally.
Before his anxiety can rise any higher, however, he spots a flash of orange coming closer to him, and he doesn’t move to stop it. Luckily, it’s not something coming over to pick on east prey, but instead a monarch butterfly. It lands on his tail, and his eyes widen. He doesn’t try to shoo it away, just stares in awe. He finds that his negative feelings are all blown away in the breeze, leaving behind a sense of wonder from the spotted creature instead.
The creme point slowly swishes his tail closer to his face, and the butterfly allows it. His anguished expression changes into a shaky smile as he watches it flaps its wings. “Hello there…are you all alone too?” Marigoldpaw asks the creature softly, trying not to be too loud in case he scares it away. Of course, it does not respond, but that’s okay. “Do you need a friend? I’ll be your friend.” He giggles, and he’s surprised at himself. He’s being way too silly for what just happened. But, maybe that’s okay.
He continues to watch the monarch butterfly for awhile, enjoying its company as he can feel himself coming back to reason. He’s certain that the negative feelings will come back, but for now, they are quelled. With a newly cleansed mind, he also comes to realize that, even if sometimes it feels like he might lose it all, maybe there would be something to help him back up. Even if it was something as stupid as a really pretty butterfly.
When it finally takes off for good, he doesn’t feel sadness, but instead a sense of revitalization. And with that, he finally stands back up, heading home.
// OOC :
A monarch butterfly
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