oneshot drink in all of this apocalypticism // wishing upon a star

STEADY THE RIGHTS AND THE WRONGS
periwinklepaw | 09 months | demi-boy | he/they | physically easy (pacifist) | mentally easy | attack in bold #ccccff
Periwinklepaw feels like he's losing his mind. The days that past by are full of nothing but stress and heartbreak. Every happy moment shared between friends tainted but another hurtful word, met by another voice yelling out how much they wish him dead, wish him gone. The threat of war looms over windclan like a hawk circling over head - always present, casting it's haunting shadow as a warning, never knowing when it might swoop down and strike. Sleep evades him once more, turning his already weary mood ever sourer. They were confined to camp until further notice - their freedom stripped away in the name of saftey for a battle he doesn't believe will come to pass. But perhaps that's just wishful thinking upon his part - a quiet snort slipping past parted lips before he can think better of it. Even should it be lies, Sooststar will just find another excuse to bring bloodshed.

The silence o the medicine den leaves him on edge, and before he realizes it he's rising to his paws in silence, carefully evading the precious herbs and the soft moss of other nests - careful not to wake anyone, not even vulturemask. There are some things that he must face by himself. Once safely free from the comforting darkness of the den he is met with a picturesque scene - full moon casting its silver glow upon the sleeping forms of his clanmates. Soft breaths, hushed snores, mumbled words that escape their dreams. It's times like this in which the boy remembers why he loves windclan - why this is his home.

The feeling of the wind in his fur, the thrill of the hunt and the rush of the chase. The pride of sinking his teeth into a still warm rabbit, the satisfying snap of it's neck in a hunt well done. The wild flowers that now return to bring color to a once bleak world - bringing back nostalgic memories of happier times along with them. And most importantly, the stars in the night sky that sparkle so softly overhead, as though smiling down upon him - sharing their calming light with only him. Starclan will always be close to his heart - how could it not? He knows that somewhere up there, wisteriapaw is probably snorting at his stupidity, that rosepaw is wishing vulturemask well, that their loved ones are looking down on them with pride. And perhaps... perhaps dandelionwish and moonshadow are somewhere up there too. He hopes not - but he supposes that's better than their souls lost somewhere, wandering endlessly.

Jaw turns down into a frown at the sudden thought - a sharp pang of worry stabbing him, hot and painful. He shouldn't think such thoughts - he should hope they are off living happily far from the clans and the chaos of the moorlands, no matter how much he wishes either one of them had taken him too. But... he is happy here, he realizes, despite all the misery. Isn't he? That's right - he's happy because he has people he cares about, who he looks up to and trusts, who he wants to protect.

He thinks of dustpaw - the first friend he ever made, the one to drag him out of his shell without him even realizing it. He thinks of vulturemask - hovering around him as a child, protecting him, and now teaching him to protect himself. Thinks of snailstrides comforting presence - of quiet conversations kept from their clanmates, of shared misery and their aversions to bloodshaed. Thinks of dazzlepaw, who's mischievousness cheers him up despite the odd things he says, and the nagging feeling he gets sometimes that maybe it's all a lie. Thinks of azaleapaw - who he'd once thought small and fragile, who'd taken down a fully grown cat with her strength. Thinks of gravelsnap, and the harsh words that hurt but had ultimately made him a better cat. Thinks of the kits in the nursery - the way they had always seemed so happy to play with him, even if only to beat him to a pulp with their games. Thinks of his brother and sister - the last of his kin within the clan, the very last of those who he can trust. Were it not for them, would he have given up all hope? He thinks he might've - or perhaps, he simply would never have come back that night.

A movement in the corner of his eyes draws his attention - oh, a falling star. He thinks he remembers an elder saying once that you could make a wish upon one, and that it would carry it for you to starclan. If you were lucky, they might even listen - might even make it come true, because starclan has always loved windclan the most of all the clans. So he does - he closes his eyes and makes that wish with the entirety of his heart and soul. He hopes it will come true - no, he'll make it come true.

Let them be safe - let me get stronger, so I can keep them all safe,