sensitive topics EDGE OF THE WORLD ☾ intro

[ashpaw]

recently, sleep had been futile for the molly. she had shown up bloody and exhausted in shadowclan over a moon ago, but was still having trouble adjusting. her wounds had healed and she had been deemed healed enough to move in to the den where the other apprentice's slept. ashpaw often just lied there though. if she was able to sleep, it was fitful and blank. no pleasant dreams clouded her mind, giving awful memories the space to torture her.

that night though, she dreamed. it began so peaceful, a warm remembrance of what could have been.

her and her sister were playing as children should be able to. they laughed without a care in the world, no trace of jealousy or hatred. but in an instant, their harmless playing turned brutal. their laughter transformed into hissing and growling. the soft paws they used to bat playfully at each other now ended in all too sharp claws. the dream had quickly turned into a nightmare of a flashback. there she was, pinned over the steep edge of a gorge once again, begging her kin to spare her. her cries were not met with mercy, but instead a a searing pain tearing across her face. the memories were a blur as she shoved her sister off, but everything became all to clear in the next moments. she watched as her littermate faltered to regain her footing. the stone they battled on remained wet from a storm in the morning. ash had pleaded to her sister again, but a fatal slip sent the other girl falling into the roaring chasm beneath.

ashpaw awoke gasping for air. her throat felt small and closed off. it almost felt like it was coated in blood. her scars, especially the one on her face, seemed to sting. the wounds felt reopened from the memory she dreamt of. blue eyes checked over her body to double check that they had in fact remained healed. the apprentice den seemed all too small. it felt like the walls were closing in on her, crushing her ribcage more with every second. she couldn't breathe, couldn't think, she had to get out.

the mottled grey apprentice burst out of the den, her lungs still screaming for air. she staggered to a nearby tree, claws tearing the ground as she went. the trunk provided her much needed support as she pushed her side up against it. why couldn't she breathe. ashpaw remained clinging to the tree like a lifeline. it was stable. it's roots ran far into the ground. it stood tall and strong. it would be able to bear some of her grief.

slowly, she was able to begin filling her lungs once again, but hot tears fell from blue eyes. her throat itched to scream, but she couldn't. it was the middle of the night and there were many cats sleeping not too far away. they didn't deserve to have their rest interrupted by her feelings. this was her burden, she was the murderer, not them. there was no reason for them to suffer for her wrongs. her head hung low as she dropped to a sitting position. she paid attention to nothing besides her ragged, uneven breaths. it would all be fine soon, she just needed a few moments for herself to get her body and mind back on track.​

[ EVERYTHING IS BROKEN ]​

 

[FLICKERFIRE]

╭── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──╮​

Like many ShadowClanners, Flickerfire uses the night to her advantage. Cloaked in darkness, the lead warrior steals away while others rest, paws drawing her to her birthplace in the forest where leaves blaze like flame. Where a she-cat awaits her, painting the night with laughter and warmth, lighting up the ShadowClan warrior's darkness with firelight.

She's returning from such an excursion tonight, a frog hanging from her mouth and her body splashed with swamp mud. She doesn't exactly think she's doing anything wrong by seeing a friend, even if she is a ThunderClanner, but she knows some of her more zealous Clanmates might not see it that way. Night hunting is as good an excuse as any, though, and she prays the bog water is enough to rinse Emberstar from her pelt.

Flickerfire's heart almost stops when she sees the camp's clearing isn't empty. A she-cat she does not recognize at first, dark pelt blending with the night, pressed against the trunk of a fir and shaking. Her fear-scent is panicked and bitter on Flickerfire's tongue.

That former rogue, she realizes. The young one who'd showed up, bleeding and shellshocked.

The tortoiseshell sags with relief. The apprentice is too worked up, too wrapped up in the darkness of her own mind, to notice Flickerfire's guilt. She pads over to the other, eyes silver fire in the moonlight. "Wan' a'f'og?" Her words are muffled with her prey.

She's no good at comfort, and she doubts the other she-cat would appreciate a mud-covered mess rubbing up against her for any reason. They're still all but strangers to each other. Instead, she drops the frog and shoves it toward Ashpaw.

- ,,​

​

 

[ashpaw]

ash had mostly calmed down by the time the sound of approaching pawsteps reached her ears. the come down wasn't that terrible anymore. she had gotten the hang of it by now.

she raised her head slowly. just enough to see who was near. in the dark flickerfire was difficult to pinpoint, especially when she was still getting the hang of putting rather strange names to unfamiliar faces. when ashpaw did recognize it was the lead warrior approaching, she pushed herself closer to the tree. maybe it would swallow her up before she would have to partake in an awkward conversation. surprisingly, it didn't seem to work. the apprentice wiped tears from her eyes hastily, just as the tortie reached her.

the mottled girl tried to give a small smile as a greeting, but it came out rigid and forced. she could remember a time where flashing a genuine grin was a second nature, now it was a much more difficult task. her head tilted slightly as flickerfire's muffled speech came out. she didn't connect the dots until a frog was dropped to the ground and pushed towards her.

"oh, um, thank you," ashpaw said gently prodding the amphibian with a cautious paw. she didn't know if she would ever get used to the marsh cat's diets. never did she ever see herself dining on things like frogs or lizards, but she wanted to be a part of the clan wholly. if eating slimy creatures was how she did that, she could suck it up.

as she dipped her head down to take a bite, she hesitated. she wanted to eat the frog. she really did, but a wave of nausea rolled over her. ashpaw didn't know if it was from tonight's events or just the prey itself. she did know that if she ate this frog right now, it likely would come right back up. "sorry, i guess i'm not that hungry right now. i can put it away for you though?" she offered uneasily. she felt rude for not accepting. she truly was appreciative, especially for the fact that she didn't pry, but she couldn't help but worry that the warrior before her would think poorly of her for her denial. however, her feelings did not change the fact that if she tried to eat it, it would be wasted. ​

[ EVERYTHING IS BROKEN ]​

 

[CHILLEDSTAR.]

fear wasn't so uncommon in shadowclan. they all came from different walks of life, especially so many young ones having come here, only after something extremely traumatic. whether it was running away from a parent, ( some dead, some trying to kill the poor young'uns, or some trying to protect their kits ), or it was running towards a new life, no one ever came here for good reason. the only good thing they got out of this, was a chance at finding something new. the idea of having other cats around that would fight starclan for them- well that was good enough. at least, that was the shadowclan chilledgaze was working towards. with all the enemies that pitchstar had made with his unpredictable nature, chilledgaze had a responsibility to make the clan airtight. loyalty was above all. they had to be loyal.

"if you're not gonna eat it, go ahead and give it to some queen, and her kits. or elders. either one will be happy to have it."

they tipped their head before sitting down, tongue drawing over their chest as their tail wrapped nearly around their paws. their torn ear flicked backwards, looking over briefly at flickerfire, but deciding not to address her. their friend had been doing quite a bit more night hunting but as long as they were bringing prey in... why would chilledgaze worry? had they known about the so-called friendship with the thunderclan's leader, they wouldn't have said much other than to be careful. but they didn't- and it wasn't exactly their plan to pry about it either.

"do you like the stars? when you look at them, do they bring you peace or turmoil? or maybe youre unsure."
​

[ NOBODY ELSE MATTERS, GIRL ]​

 

[ashpaw]

her head turned towards chilledgaze and their shadowy approach, dipping it in a nod to their statement. ashpaw was ready to pick it up and do just that, when they spoke again.

the stars. they spoke of the twinkling lights that decorated the sky. relief escaped her in the form of her muscles relaxing. she wasn't in the mood to talk about anything real, and perhaps she never would be. the older cat's before her seemed to respect that, or just didn't care enough to know. she was fine with either one. as soon as they knew what she had done, they would surely look at her differently. see her for the monster she had convinced herself she was.

ashpaw tilted her head up, glancing at the stars overhead. she had never given them too much room in her mind. the apprentice could use the excuse that there were more important things going on, things that could not be fixed from staring at the dark sky. however, she knew that wasn't the whole truth. maybe she had instead disregarded them for another reason. their ability to come across so clear and crisp against the pitch black sky was truly brilliant. and so unlike her. where they had found a way to glimmer in the darkness, she had succumbed to it. let it eat her alive.

so many words gnawed at her tongue, but they were left unsaid. rather than a wordy response, a breathy sigh escaped her, it's ghost forming a small cloud against the brisk night air. "they're okay, i've never really thought about it though. they just aren't all that important to me i suppose," was all she said, words wavering only slightly.​

[ EVERYTHING IS BROKEN ]​