private Evelyn, Evelyn ☠ First night

[Bonechill.]

*+:｡.｡ He wonders if Snowypaw is cold right now.

Bonepaw notes every knot and node in the woven ceiling of the apprentice's den, staring at it for so long his vision had adjusted to the dark ages ago. The den is full of the scents of slumbering apprentices, no new kits to paws ensuring that nothing in the apprentice's den has changed. Nothing besides the slowly diminishing scent of his sister. Shifting his gaze to look at the empty nest once more, he stares mainly at the moss. He keeps ensuring that no one else touches it, especially after a few apprentices mumbled about getting rid of it. Bonepaw's eyes don't creep up past the layer of moss, though. He's not ready to acknowledge the emptied space. Instead, he looks back up at the ceiling again, resuming his endless back and forth even if he risks adding a crick to his neck.
Training his gaze skywards ensures the burning in his eyes remains at the back of them.

So he stares. And he thinks. And he tries to pretend like Snowypaw's scent isn't fading.
He wonders if she's made any friends by now.

He wonders if she misses them.

He wonders if she's sleeping okay.

He wonders if she ate enough.

He wonders if she groomed properly, if she got a cozy enough nest, if she's staying up too late, if they worked her too hard, if she got a mentor yet -


He didn't realize he'd started whimpering. A strangled breath escapes him despite his teeth being firmly clenched. So he does his best to squeeze his eyes shut, refusing to let the burn escape the corners.

Crying meant it was a good-bye.
He hadn't allowed himself to cry when he left the nursery, or the medicine den after Bloodpaw was hurt, because neither of those moments meant he wasn't going to see his moms or sister again. So he wouldn't cry for this, either. He wouldn't.

So instead, he kept on wondering.

*+:｡.｡ Updated 4/2/24

• 
  
  
• 
  
  
  
  GENERAL:
  ☠ Shadowclan — apprentice
  ☠ DMAB— He/Him — Unsure
  ☠ 6 moons — Ages 1 moon every month real-time
  ☠ Son to Ferndance x Needledrift
  ☠ Littermates with Bloodpaw, Shadepaw, Snowypaw
  ☠ Half-brother to Gigglekit, Morelkit, Branchkit
  ☠ Apprenticed to Nightwhisper
  
  
  
  
  
  COMBAT:
  ☠Physically easy | mentally hard
  ☠ Attack in bold #738171
  injuries: None currently

​

 

[SHADEPAW]

It was almost the same. Shadepaw curled up in her nest like usual, chin pressed into the moss. The frogs sang outside and her denmates breathed in the even way that sleep summoned. Shadepaw's breathing was still tight, shallow, sharp with the stabbing pain in her chest. It was almost the same, but it wasn't. She just wanted to be asleep, but her mind was running miles, past snatches of thoughts that she could barely catch. It all came back to Snowypaw. Memories, worries, hopes. She shifted, pushing her nose into her front paws to hide her face. Unbeknownst to her, she shared many of the same thoughts that Bonepaw did. She wondered whether Snowypaw was safe, if the RiverClanners were treating her well, if she had met Pikesplash, if her nest was warm, if the sound of the river was as loud as the frogs.

She rolled over, one paw already stretching out to poke Snowypaw's sky-black side. "Hey-" She was met with empty night in her place. Of course Snowypaw wasn't in her nest, ready to answer a question that depended on her being in RiverClan. She breathed out a quiet, bitter imitation of a laugh. The pain in her chest was less like stabbing, more like tearing. Now turned to the rest of the den, she saw Bonepaw, face pinched almost like he was in pain, a cry caught in his throat that threatened to escape. Shadepaw sat up and slipped over to lie down against her brother's side, quiet as a ghost. They were like kittens in the nursery again, her gangly form folded up to fit next to his stockier one. Her sweet, sensitive brother didn't need to suffer alone. If he needed to cry, her shoulder was there to dry his tears on. "I hope she's okay." Her voice was just a wisp. "It's- it's so, so..." She trailed off into a sniffle. She didn't even know what word she wanted. Awful? Sad? Strange? Tragic, maybe.​