private every long lost dream | Howlingstar

[Flamestar]

⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊ After another long sleepless night, Flamewhisker found herself padding towards her Leader's den. The question she had would probably be shot down, but she wanted to ask given the off chance Howlingstar would agree. She had walked this path not too long ago, but she had learned to control her grief a little more since talking to the other tabby in private. Some days were worse than others, but today she was doing alright. Though...she wasn't sure how she would be doing later if her idea was approved. But she needed to do this, for her kits. Even though she wouldn't admit it, it killed her to watch the fathers of the other queen's kits visit, or take their kits out to play. Even though she hadn't asked him, Falconheart had stepped up to the mantle and tried to fill that gap. The kits loved that their big brother was so involved, but he wasn't their father.

She paused outside of the den, forcing whatever scraps of confidence still survived within her to come back to the surface. These past few moons she had been a shell of her former self, a puppet in a lifeless body. Howlingstar surely wouldn't allow her plan if she thought she couldn't handle herself. "Howlingstar?" she called out before padding in after she was invited inside. The deputy dipped her head in greeting, before sitting down in front of the older molly. She appeared to have healed from her injuries, thankfully. The leader had been camp bound for a long time after losing two lives so close to each other. With Raccoonstripe's latest trespassing, she was sure the leader had plenty of other things on her mind, so hopefully she wouldn't be too taken aback by what she was about to ask. "I apologize if you were busy...but I wanted to ask something." She paused, shuffling her paws momentarily in the soft dirt. The queen took in a deep breath, then slowly let it fall. "I would like to ask for permission to bring my kits to visit their father's grave." Kits were not allowed outside of the camp, that law was not unknown to her. However, the graves were very close to the camp, and she was sure that her kits would behave once they learned the severity of where they were going.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎┌── MY DARLING ⋅✩⋅ WHO KNEW ──┐‎

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• FLAMEWHISKER ✩ she/her, deputy of thunderclan, 32 moons, ages on the 20th
  ⭃ LH red tabby with low white (masks black tabby, carries dilute, solid)
  ⭃ widowed mate to flycatcher / / mother to: falconheart, stormfeather, sparrowpaw, sunkit, mothkit, scorchedkit, and squirrelkit
  ⭃ peaceful and healing powerplay permitted / / underline and tag when attacking
  ⭃ will start a fight, will finish fights, will kill (case depending)
  ⭃ link to toyhouse
  ⭃ penned by Icey ! ↛ @icefang65 on discord, feel free to dm for plots.
  

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[HOWLINGSTAR]

Howlingstar tries to visit the nursery as often as she can. Her kin grow bigger and bigger every day within those walls. Her deputy sleeps there, her kits growing stronger and nearing their own apprenticeship. She thinks about them often, and makes time as much as she can to bring meals or tell stories to give the queens a break. To see Flamewhisker come to her is less uncommon, but she is a visitor the tabby is always willing to welcome. "I'm not busy," She answers with a curious tilt of her head, turning to face the queen. The last time they'd been alone in her den, Flamewhisker had come to grieve Flycatcher. Worry makes its way onto her face as she waits to hear what her deputy wants to talk about this time.

The question catches Howlingstar off guard and she hesitates, first mewing, "Flamewhisker, you know kits aren't allowed outside of camp. It's too dangerous." How many predator attacks has the clan seen within the last few moons alone? But she can't help but sympathize. Briefly, she thinks of Gray Wolf's grave in what is now ShadowClan's territory. She and her kits will never be able to visit again. Should she really deny her deputy's family this moment? After a pause, she sighs, dipping her head. "But...just this once, I will make an exception. But I want a few warriors going with you. Bring Falconheart," She suggests gently, lifting her eyes to meet emerald. "Would you be alright with it if I came, too?"​

 

[Flamestar]

⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊ Howlingstar's statement doesn't take her by surprise. The question had been a lot to ask, and she wouldn't be upset with her leader for denying her request. Taking four kits outside the camp was a huge risk, one she wouldn't normally take if she didn't truly believe in the need for it. She and Falconheart had yet to visit his grave, neither one of them having been strong enough to. The kits were old enough now that they were beginning to ask questions about their father, especially Scorchedkit.

To her surprise, the tabby does not deny her question. Instead, she makes an exception, instructing her to take a few warriors. Falconheart is to come, and she asked if she could come as well. "Of course." The deputy says quietly, before finding her voice. "It would mean more than you know." Ever since she had joined Thunderclan, Howlingstar had always been there. Overtime, the older molly had began to like a mother to her...the kind of mother she had wished her's had been...the kind that she wished to be to her kits. "The kits will behave. I will make sure they understand the specialness of this occasion." Her head dipped respectfully, before returning her gaze to her leader's. "Thank you so much."

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎┌── MY DARLING ⋅✩⋅ WHO KNEW ──┐‎

• 
  
  
  

• 

• FLAMEWHISKER ✩ she/her, deputy of thunderclan, 32 moons, ages on the 20th
  ⭃ LH red tabby with low white (masks black tabby, carries dilute, solid)
  ⭃ widowed mate to flycatcher / / mother to: falconheart, stormfeather, sparrowpaw, sunkit, mothkit, scorchedkit, and squirrelkit
  ⭃ peaceful and healing powerplay permitted / / underline and tag when attacking
  ⭃ will start a fight, will finish fights, will kill (case depending)
  ⭃ link to toyhouse
  ⭃ penned by Icey ! ↛ @icefang65 on discord, feel free to dm for plots.
  

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