EVERY SEASON I NEED YOU TO COME BACK [ ✦ ] magpiepaw

[Starlingheart]

Words cannot even begin to describe the relief that she feels to have her apprentice back. Magpiepaw was a presence that she had not known the weight of which she would miss until he was gone, leaving behind a void in her den and in her heart that could not be filled. It was not about the missing set of paws, the work load that got heavier in his absence. She could handle it, could bare it all upon her thin shoulders like she had been doing since her youth. No, it was more about the emotional toll that it had taken on her. She had missed him so terribly. How much had changed with him in the two moons he had been gone? A whole turn of the seasons he had been alive now and oh how different did he look from the scrappy kitten that had been fished from the rubbish heap all those moons ago. She remembers the time he had first come to ShadowClan and she had named him Magpie oh how different they both were now.

"It's good to have you-to have you back" she admits quietly one chilly leaf-fall morning as they traverse the territory together, a ritual she had not been able to properly enjoy in many moons. When she had gone while he had been away always it had been with someone else, someone that she had needed to keep an eye on, to ensure they were not touching things that could potentially end their life. But with Magpiepaw she could settle into familiarity, secure with the knowledge that she had taught him long ago what to avoid when they were on such expeditions. "Much has changed since-since you've left but- but first tell me. How-how was the journey? Did you learn anything while you were away?" She would be incredibly proud of him regardless of the answer, to do such a selfless thing was no easy feat, and she is not only referencing herbs. Personal growth, in her mind, is just as important as professional and she sets her emerald green eyes upon him, expectantly awaiting the answer to her question.

// @Magpiepaw
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[Magpiepaw]

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There is comfort out here with his mentor once again, he staggers as he walks but he is more surefooted than before and he does not waver unsure of his steps. Whether he stumbles or moves without issue he doesn't falter now, his pace quickens and as his head bobs so too does his tail to keep him upright without issue - he's learned to live in his broken body, to control his wayward limbs. They fought still, they always would, but he was in charge and he didn't let himself forget this. Magpiepaw had longed for the marshland in his absence but now it feels much less impressive than it once was, he'd missed the familiarity and coming home was a disappointment. The newness of the journey, the cats there, the warmth of it, he missed it more than he expected to. Did Perwinklebreeze get his wound looked at when he got back? Did he remember to change the dressing? How was Stormpaw doing in her efforts to move once more? Did Iciclefang and Stormywing feel empty at the gathering, seeing one another and knowing their friendship could never exist beyond fourtrees on the full moon? The dark apprentice wonders often, its strange how his thoughts look out across the clan borders now more than within.

"...I missed you too."
What had he learned - "...my limits..." He murmured, voice quiet but confident; he had utilized the skills he knew, the minimal herbs he had dedicated to learning and had further imprinted them into his mind through repeated use. "...no cat died that I could have prevented..." Little Wolf comes to his thoughts immediately, but even Starlingheart in all her wisdom, even Berryheart in his experience, Dawnglare in his stubborness...not a soul among them would have been able to keep her alive. StarClan had made the decision to take a cat that day, the Thunderclan warrior had defied the choice of who and paid for it.
He'd returned to a grave, silent and full of bodies - Smogmaw had not gotten his victorious return, they had lost several in the interim. He wishes he could feel something more than a void.

————— ⸸ looks like the stars won't shine much longer ———— ⸸ so give me your hand

• OOC can go here.
• 
  
  
  Magpiepaw
  —⊰⋅ MCA of ShadowClan
  —⊰⋅ He/They
  "SPEECH", 'THOUGHTS', ATTACK
  —⊰⋅ Black tom w/a white throat and blue-violet eyes.
  

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[Starlingheart]

Magpiepaw had learned what was perhaps the hardest lesson for a medicine cat during his travels. He had learned about loss. About letting go. For that, she is sad she could not have been with him but she is glad he seemed to be taking it in stride. She still remembers when Viridianskies had died, how desperate she had been to bring her back even though it was no longer in her paws. Sometimes there was just nothing that could be done. "But someone did die?" she asks quietly, able to read between the lines of his words. "I-I'm sorry Magpiepaw. That is- that is the most difficult thing about the path we walk. As much as we would like and as-as much as we may try, we cannot save everyone" She had failed so many, all of their names float about in her head. Gone but never truly forgotten.

"Let us n-not dwell on the negative though" gently, she tries to redirect the conversation "Surely there-there must have been some good to come from-from your time in the mountains. Why dont- why dont you tell me about the-the journey? Let me live vicariously through you." her words come with a soft laugh and she settles down with her paws tucked underneath her, looking to her apprentice expectantly.

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