private everything has changed // prompt, moonwhisper

[HOWLINGSTAR]

// prompt: a lone wolf’s howl
@Moonwhisper

Howlingstar does not know the pain of losing a mother so young. She left hers when she was a young cat, about Moonwhisper’s age now, and to this day she does not know what ever became of her dam. But the pain of knowing of her tragic death? Beyond her, and especially so young. She is no fool; she has seen how her granddaughter has withdrawn more, become more cold and callous in her words.

She approaches now on silent paws where Moonwhisper sits just outside of camp, her ears back and her eyes gentle. In the distance, a long, low song of a wolf sounds, a mournful howl. “She seeks her pack,” The tabby mews softly, seating herself just beside the young warrior. A soft smile graces her lips, she glances with soft green eyes at her kin. “She’s separated from them and is trying to call to them, to come home. She is lonely.” Perhaps her grandchild will see the meaning behind her words, perhaps not. All she knows is she wants to be there for her, support her, love her as a grandmother always should. Especially since her own mother is not here to do such. Tentatively, her fluffy brown tail is draped across the dark pointed one, an extension of comfort if she would accept it.​

 

[Moonwhisper]

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The tortie does not turn as she hears pawsteps, but she can tell by the heavier steps and the careful presence settling at her side that its Howlingstar without even registering the brown fur in her peripheal. The leader's words are oddly phrased, clearly holding more meaning than intended and she feels her fur prickle with unease at them as though insulted by the very notion she needed some kind of life lesson bestowed upon her.

Her tail flicks suddenly, pulling away from the black tabby's and curling up around herself as she tucked her paws in close to her body to be covered by it.
"...a weak wolf then." She muses, voice cold and aloof and still her blue gaze remains fixated forward into the distance and does not regard her grandmother even once, "She should learn to manage on her own, who is to say if that pack won't leave her again."
Her words clip, there is a faint tone of resentment in her voice - she has done nothing but try and try and fight viciously for her clan and defend its borders with the intensity of a full pack of wolves and her reward is to watch her brother become everything she wants. A lead warrior, a mentor, regarded with respect by their clanmates.

☾ break all the rules - live like a queen or die like a fool ☽ —— do you care what they think

•  
• 
  
  
  Moonwhisper
  —⊰⋅ Warrior of ThunderClan
  —⊰⋅ She/Her
  "SPEECH", 'THOUGHTS', ATTACK
  —⊰⋅ LH Tortiseshell point w/ice blue eyes
  

​

 

[HOWLINGSTAR]

Howlingstar blinks in surprise, recoils in the slightest as Moonwhisper pulls away. Confusion clouds her gaze. What's going on? Her granddaughter has always been...cold, chilling, but now more than ever she feels a distance forming between them, a gap that is becoming harder and harder to bridge. She fears if she doesn't mend it soon, she may lose her forever. Pain flickers in her eyes at the young warrior's words. Leave her?

She ventures again, "It is not weak to lean on others. It is the pack that takes down the mighty elk - the lone wolf is kicked." She tries desperately to think when everything changed. When had Moonwhisper become so estranged? Little Wolf. Had it been her mother's death that drove her to be the cat she is today, biting and bristling and alone? Her brow furrows, a gentle frown on her aging maw. "Talk to me, love. What is on your mind?" ​

 

[Moonwhisper]

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The lone wolf is kicked and yet she feels only the bite of packmates at her nape. Betrayal flashes hot across her maw and her lips curl as she debates getting up and leaving but she is fastened in place by the memory of angrily storming off from Little Wolf during an argument and the knowledge she never got to apologize before her mother died - that their last talk had been one of vitriol and unhappiness. So she stays. She answers.
"What's on my mind?" Her voice rises, incredulous to the question as if believing she shouldn't have to answer such a thing. Was it not obvious? Did Howlingstar not even realize what she was doing or was this too a means to goad her into fitting some kind of mold the leader preferred over how she naturally was? The tortie point stands then, shoulders stiff as she whirls around to face the black tabby, "Do...do you not trust me? Do you not think I-I can do anything at all? Why? Why do you hate me? I've done everything asked of me, I trained so hard, I didn't fail my warrior assessment-I excelled in it, I fought at Sunningrocks alongside you as an apprentice! What makes Burnstorm more worthy than me? What makes Sunfreckle's kits better suited to be mentors than me?! Sparkwing? Really? He ate a pinecone two days ago and I watched him do it!"
Her voice never rose higher than her normal speaking volume but there was an intensity in her words that snagged at each syllable and she clenched her teeth tightly together as she heaved for breath when the outburst was finished. As much as she loathed the very idea of being emotional in front of anyone, especially not her family, she could not help the rolling cascade of heavy tears that dampened spotted cheeks as she lashed her tail.

☾ break all the rules - live like a queen or die like a fool ☽ —— do you care what they think

•  
• 
  
  
  Moonwhisper
  —⊰⋅ Warrior of ThunderClan
  —⊰⋅ She/Her
  "SPEECH", 'THOUGHTS', ATTACK
  —⊰⋅ LH Tortiseshell point w/ice blue eyes
  

​

 

[HOWLINGSTAR]

Howlingstar is completely caught off guard by the rising volume, her ears flicking back in surprise as she flinches. Wide green eyes watch her granddaughter as she unleashes her feelings in a storm of tumultuous anger. When she's done, the tabby is left speechless for a moment, stunned that Moonwhisper could even think of such things. "Of course I trust you - you're my granddaughter, you can do anything you set your mind to!" She mews incredulously, shock still written across her face. "Hate?" Her expression morphs from incredulity to hurt. What had she done to make Moonwhisper thinks she hated her? "I- I don't-" She shakes her head, at a complete loss for words.

Sure, Burnstorm had...matured more quickly than his quieter sister. He had learned to release his anger towards his SkyClan kin, release the hold that his past had held over him. Moonwhisper...has not quite gotten there yet. She freshly remembers the outburst she'd had in response to Flycatcher assigning her to patrol SkyClan's border, the anger that so often burns like ice behind her frosty eyes. But incapable? That had never been a word Howlingstar would ever use to describe her.

"Moonwhisper, I love you with every bone in my body. I will never stop loving you, ever. I think you are one of the strongest cats I've ever known in my life," She mews genuinely, leaning forward and attempting to touch her nose to the other's dampened cheek. "I assign apprentices to mentors that I think will fit them well. It's not that Burnstorm was ready before you - I just thought Falconpaw would get on well with him after losing his mentor. That's all." It's half true. Deep down, Howlingstar still worries that Moonwhisper may not be ready to train an apprentice until she can deal with the icy grudges she holds close to her heart, but...well, she does love her granddaughter a lot. Perhaps she can overlook it....maybe giving her an apprentice would help her feelings of rejection.​