Everything you do is just alright | Pikesplash

[Snakeblink]

MAYBE I'D BE A SAINT IF I WEREN'T ————————————​

Of all the duties of a warrior, Snakeblink likes fishing the best. He enjoys being close to the river of his childhood, the weightlessness of diving into the water, the ease of the task. Border patrols are nerve wracking and land hunting an ever-frustrating endeavor, but fishing… that he can do well enough.

With the air heavy with a coming storm and winds lashing through the forest, the cool embrace of the river is even more welcome than usual. Snakeblink is as a result in a particularly good mood, and it would be a shame not to share it.

Undulating through the water, he pulls himself up onto shore, dragging an eel along between clamped jaws. He opens his mouth to let it drop in the grass and turns to his patrol companion. Pikesplash has been looking a little harried, probably due to the little terror he has recently taken in as his own. There isn’t a lot Snakeblink can do to help — kit-rearing is so far out of his skillset it’s not even funny — but if there’s one thing he knows about young parents, it’s that they can always use some reassurance.

”I’ve seen you with Otterkit,” he starts, ears turning towards the camp as if he might hear the kit’s screech from here. For such small creatures, kittens sure can be loud. ”I wouldn’t have expected it, but you are actually doing a good job taking care of him.”

If his voice sounds so dubious, it’s — despite appearances — no fault of Pikesplash’s own. Parenting has always seemed an arcane art to the ever-fumbling Snakeblink, and he’s seen his fair share of adoptive parents struggling to connect with their new kit. To him, who vastly prefers to engage with children once they’ve reached apprentice age, Pikesplash’s ability to deal with Otterkit affectionately and responsibly is nothing short of magical.
​

——————————————————————————————————— so god damn lonely ​

ooc. information.

• 
  
• — Snakeblink • he / him. 42 ☾, riverclan warrior
  — a sleek, skinny tabby with long ears and a scar over his right eye.
  — gay, not actually evil, penned by @Kangoo
  
  
  

​

​

 

[PIKESPLASH]

( tags ) It's true his appearance is quite harried and it was no secret that it was from Otterkit. He isn't sure how much he's slept if at all some days. There were times after all where Otterkit couldn't sleep and so he stood up with his son. And then there were days where he woke up to find a small bundle curled up beside him. The very first time it had happened he was alarmed, but that was to be natural. He was relatively new to parenting, so it did nearly cause him to jump in surprise only to remember that he indeed had a kit now. Despite the lack of sleep and increase of bites, he wouldn't say he wished he never took that responsibility. He just wished that he could be able to get some rest. He did have the queens help with Otterkit, but it was still difficult to get some rest and with what has been going on? Seemed almost impossible these days.

Snakeblink isn't a cat who he hates or even dislikes. The other warrior had a reputation of being disliked for the things he said, but Pike himself didn't think Snakeblink was an awful cat. He'd heard some words Snakeblink had told others and even listened to gossip about the fellow warrior, yet he never took it as the other warrior being purposely mean. In fact, he'd never seen Snakeblink thrilled at others becoming cross with him because of the words that spewed from his maw. That's why he has no issue with volunteering or being on any sort of patrol with Snakeblink. There were some odd moments between them and he was not going to deny sometimes he finished the day confused or upset by Snakeblink's words.

In this moment the pair had gotten a decent haul so far. The clan is going to be well fed today, ah, that's good. Hopefully this will last awhile. His pelt was thoroughly soaked, droplets falling freely as he organized the fish he had caught. Ears tilted at the sound of water falling and Snakeblink's words. H-huh? Why is he talking about Otterkit? The confusion must be found on his face as he turns to Snakeblink, the other tom adding on as if to clarify the intention. The funny thing about worrying about not being enough or not measuring up to expectations is that he feels no anger towards Snakeblink. The tom is speaking the truth.

Haha, yeah... I guess it's only natural to assume I'd do poorly. He should feel joy that he had proven Snakeblink wrong about being able to care for Otterkit, yet he only feels the sting of distrust. I am a former kittypet, I know that, but it still hurts when everyone thinks all I can do is sit around. It fills him with sorrow that Snakeblink, a cat who he thinks he can share some kinship with shares the same belief as most cats in the clan. I would've thought... Since we're both somewhat disliked...

Nevertheless, he pushes on, believing that Snakeblink doesn't mean to hurt him. After all, when he stares down Snakeblink the other warrior doesn't radiate any malice. Just because it makes me sad I shouldn't make Snakeblink sad either. "Oh?" He cocks his head in faux confusion. "I didn't think you'd be watching, but I guess with Otterkit sneaking into the warriors den it isn't exactly a secret." Before allowing Snakeblink to continue he chuckles, "To be honest I didn't expect it either, so it makes me happy to hear that you think I'm doing good Snakeblink. I'm pretty new to this dad thing, and you know how Otterkit is. He's always in some sort of trouble, but most of the kits are trouble in their own ways. Meadowkit, Littlekit, Chicorykit, all the little ones are pulling everyone's fur out."

It's for a moment that he forgets his sadness from Snakeblink's comment. What invades his mind now is the nursery and watching all kits wrestling and squirm around. He visits to see his son, but he helps the queens when they can. we have our paws full with them for sure. With a smile, he finishes with, "But I know we'll miss these days when they're all grown."​

 

[Snakeblink]

MAYBE I'D BE A SAINT IF I WEREN'T ————————————​

There’s confusion in Pikesplash’s eyes for a moment, and then a flash of… hurt? Snakeblink would bite the words back if he could, or if he even knew what he said wrong — but he can only watch with some dread as the other tom thinks of what to say.

He is surprised then, pleasantly so, when he hears neither rebuke nor upset in Pikesplash’s following words. His shoulders relax slightly, paws kneading the ground as he listens; he even feels his face warm in pleasure at hearing that his good opinion is valued. The other’s voice is soft as he muses on his new fatherhood, sounding almost wishful by the end, a far cry from the usual response to Snakeblink’s comments. But it seems to often be the case with this tom: he is a patient one, to be sure, and generous in his interpretation of others’ words and actions. This may be why he is doing so well with Otterkit, or their more abrasive clanmates — up to and including Snakeblink himself.

His leniency extends to the kits that aren’t directly under his charge, which is more generous than most parents, who tend to only like their own little terrors. ”Will we?” Snakeblink asks wryly. His tail twitches with the phantom sting of needle-sharp baby teeth sinking into it to wake him up. Still, he has to concede the point to Pikesplash: as demanding as kits may be, they can be cute, and the camp will feel emptier without their youthful whimsy once they grow into apprentices.

”I am always watching,” he states, eyes boring into Pikesplash. That is after all the best way he’s found to take care of his clan. After a pause, he hazards: ”Kits are just so…” He shakes his head lightly. ”Small. Fragile. Dependent on you for everything. Do you not lose sleep over it?”
​

——————————————————————————————————— so god damn lonely ​

ooc. information.

• 
  
• — Snakeblink • he / him. 42 ☾, riverclan warrior
  — a sleek, skinny tabby with long ears and a scar over his right eye.
  — gay, not actually evil, penned by @Kangoo
  
  
  

​

​

 

[PIKESPLASH]

( tags ) Despite Snakeblink's tone he is not at all bothered nor does he see a reason to reprimand them. He is not going to deny that the current kits have lack of respect, spending their days biting the tails of anything that moves. That's why he answers with a sigh, "In time." There will be a day when all of the cats who were bitten by these rowdy kits will miss the innocence and curiosity they once had. Eventually these kits will see horrible things. Some will smile less. Maybe some will pass before they even reach warriorhood, worst case some will never become apprentices. Of course they would do anything to prevent that, but no one knows what the future will hold. What he does know is they will miss what once was. Thankfully his inner ramblings are cut short when Snakeblink practically claws his soul with their eyes.

Pikesplash finds himself unsettled by this, suddenly it made sense why they were called Snakeblink. It indeed felt like he was being inspected from top to bottom to decide where was the best area to strike. Viewing his fellow clanmate as a predator in this moment due to their presence, he leans back, not wanting to be so close to those eyes. "That's kind of creepy..." Silence. It takes him a moment to realize he said that outloud to Snakeblink. When it hits him, he immediately flusters, "Ah! I'm not saying you are creepy Snakeblink, it's just how you said it. But! I get what you mean? You're saying you're looking out for us, right?" Oh man oh man was this going wonderfully. He was hoping that Snakeblink wasn't offended too badly by his slip up. Although, who was to say Snakeblink wouldn't be curious what he meant by the method of how words were said. Perhaps Snakeblink had thought his way of expressing himself was something everyone or most considered normal, so to be told that it was odd may have been an answer of some sort.

Kits are just so? He doesn't interrupt. What he does offer Snakeblink are curious eyes and a nod, as if to assure Snakeblink he is interested in their thoughts.It is true that kits are all those things, but he never saw it as an awful thing. In fact, he found it odd to hear Snakeblink say it. He says it like he wasn't a kit or those things once upon a time ago. Nevertheless, he waits for Snakeblink to finish. He is a bit surprised when Snakeblink asks him whether or not he loses sleep over it. Seeing no reason to lie he responds easily, "I do." If Snakeblink had been watching him then the older warrior could've seen him nearly pass out somedays.

What Snakeblink wants from him he isn't sure. He wouldn't ask me something he already knows just to prove a point. Snakeblink isn't like that. He glances at the warrior, "Kits are fragile. They are small. They depend on others too." With a hum he continues, "Wouldn't you say we're the same?" This question is not to say he or Snakeblink personally are fragile and weak cats. Pikesplash doesn't give Snakeblink a chance to respond whether or not the other warrior wanted to speak. "Apprentices, warriors, queens, elders, a deputy, medicine cats, and even a leader are fragile. They are able to be wounded by not only claws, but hearts. Pain doesn't need to be seen to be felt and acknowledged. We're small too. No matter how big we are, we are afraid. As for depending..."

It's at this moment he graces Snakeblink with a small smile. "Everyone depends on someone. You might depend on Cicadastar to make decisions that keep you and your loved ones safe. Just like I depend on you to watch over me, and how you might depend on me on those days where you haven't caught prey for food." Maybe Snakeblink is regretting asking him such a thing considering they somehow made it to here.​

 

[Snakeblink]

MAYBE I'D BE A SAINT IF I WEREN'T ————————————​

That's kind of creepy…

Snakeblink averts his eyes and draws back, instinctively mirroring Pikesplash’s movement to put some distance between them. Of all the things he’s been called in his life, creepy is both the most common and least biting of them: he’s heard it so much since he was a kit that he hears it in the same way as he hears his own name. Still, Pikesplash’s immediate reassurance is… nice? Even though it’s a reminder of his lackluster social skills, it gives him a little space to maneuver, a better understanding of what he said wrong.

”I apologize. That is what I meant, yes. I pay attention would be a better way of putting it I suppose.”

Despite giving him a weird look, Pikesplash answers his genuine question with similar sincerity, laying out his thesis about all of them being fragile, in need of others’ help. Snakeblink listens intently — though he tries, this time, not to stare too much, tail tip jerking with nervous energy. It’s an interesting point that the other warrior makes, and one that Snakeblink agrees with in many ways. This is what family is for, after all — providing for each other, taking care of the old, the young, the sick and injured. Riverclan is family and he’s always tried to do his utmost to care for his clanmates, just as Pikesplash does his best to care for Otterkit. He shakes his head derisively at himself.

"I hadn't thought about it that way," he muses aloud.

He doesn’t confirm Pikesplash’s other claim — that Snakeblink may depend on him in return. It’s true, of course: one cat does not a clan make and Snakeblink has been fed by others’ hunting prowess, sheltered by others’ weaving, and protected by others’ claws before. But a part of him still insists he should be self-sufficient, that his burdening any of his clanmates with the same demands of care that he offers them freely would be going too far.

On the subject of food, he knows this thought to be silly. But it seems to him like Pikesplash’s comparison breaks down when it comes to him. It’s not an opinion he could be trusted to argue for if he were to voice it: only a private, intrinsic understanding that all his clanmates are entitled to gentleness in spite of their failings… while he should earn it.

"It’s intimidating to be on both sides, is it not? To be vulnerable, and tasked with the care of something vulnerable. Although I’ve been told parenthood is… rewarding, and worth the anxiety." He glances at Pikesplash, schooling his expression into something hopefully less intimidating. ”I am pleased to hear you feel as if you can depend on me. As I said,” he adds with a narrow smile, repeating earlier words with the understanding of the underlying humor of them, "I am always watching. And if there is anything I can do besides keep watch, I hope you will not hesitate to ask."
​

——————————————————————————————————— so god damn lonely ​

ooc. information.

• 
  
• — Snakeblink • he / him. 42 ☾, riverclan warrior
  — a sleek, skinny tabby with long ears and a scar over his right eye.
  — gay, not actually evil, penned by @Kangoo
  
  
  

​

​

 

[PIKESPLASH]

( tags ) Guilt eats at him when Snakeblink recoils from him. He didn't mean to make the lead warrior feel terrible. In many ways he can relate with Snakeblink, seeing as there were times he fumbled on what to say or he was stared at for saying something strange. Whenever that happened it made you wish you disappeared and in no way did he ever want Snakeblink to vanish. "It's alright Snakeblink, and I'm sorry for making you feel bad. I'll get better at understanding, I promise!" It was a tall order for sure to promise, but everyone deserved to feel accepted. If Snakeblink decided one day he was going to change his mannerisms and word things diffferently to fit in, he would help Snakeblink only if it was something he wanted. Otherwise he was going to commit to trying to understand Snakeblink's words and try not to take them at face value. Patience would be required.

Pikesplash pauses when he hears Snakeblink quip that he's never thought of it like this before. Flustered he is because when he gets into the zone, oh boy can he talk. Everything and everyone fades. He's always loved sharing whatever he could or his thoughts with others, but very rarely does it happen. That's not to say his clanmates are horrible, the fact of the matter is that he simply stays in the background. Speaking with a group of strangers was daunting and who was to say they wanted to hear him randomly bring up fish and going into extensive detail about some. However, it is less awkward to ask Snakeblink how so. For that reason he nods and is able to continue with his thesis.

When he finished saying his thoughts, he allows Snakeblink the chance to comment or say whatever he wanted to. The inquiry Snakeblink's asks are insightful and he can't help himself from logging that thought for later. Later as in late at night pondering the why's of the universe. "It is. Because it's intimidating we're looking for someone or something that can help us make it less scary. As for parenting being rewarding... I don't know yet. It's still to soon to say what it is. Calling it rewarding feels like the experience ends, which it does. Eventually. When I'm gone, but for now I would call it an adventure." He is grateful that he is able to care for Otterkit, but he doesn't want to think parenting ends when Otterkit becomes a warrior. The rules will change and so will their relationship, but when he thought about the end. I'll wait for you in Starclan where we'll have another adventure together.

Unfortunately for Snakeblink, the poor lead warrior might be befuddled by Pikesplash's incoming inquiry. "Would you like to have a family of your own Snakeblink? I'm just curious of if you had the chance without thinking about the specifics, would you like kits of your own?" The question is once again pure curiosity. In terms of romance, he knows that many within the clan are single. To be honest he can't really name a couple other than Cicadastar and Smokethroat. Hmm... Snakeblink seems like he'll be a good dad. Maybe the type that'll spook his kids by accident, but he'll be watching them like a hawk. That's what I think anyway. It's hard to know without it actually happening.

Green eyes meet green and he feels naked with the intensity of Snakeblink's eyes. He's rendered speechless when he is given a smile and told that whatever he needed, he could go to Snakeblink for help.

He can't help himself from laughing when Snakeblink once again tells him he's always watching. Before it had been creepy, but he can sense now that it is brought up as a joke. You're not bad Snakeblink. The offer of providing help regeardless of what it is brings a smile to his face. Pikesplash is practically beaming at Snakeblink. He's in such a giddy mood his maw proceeds to spill secrets, "I knew I always liked you for a reason." There is no deceit in his words. One could argue it was because of Snakeblink's lead warrior status, but that was not the case. As Snakeblink himself said it best, I'm always watching. He always felt safe... Well actually it was better to say that he didn't think any harm would come to him with Snakeblink's watchful gaze. Admittedly creepy at times, most of the time, but well meaning nonetheless.

That doesn't feel like enough. Think! How to say it better... Ah! Before Snakeblink can interject, he adds, "You have the dreary gaze of the feeble owl, and the stench of... Buttercups?" This is harder than I thought. Maybe that was okay?​

 

[Snakeblink]

MAYBE I'D BE A SAINT IF I WEREN'T ————————————​

Pikesplash wears his feelings openly, every single emotion bare on his face. Snakeblink can’t help to crack a smile at how frantic the other gets when he thinks he has offended him — usually, Snakeblink is the one in that position. He waves his tail dismissively. ”It is already forgotten,” he murmurs, pleased. ”My poor wording is infamous, after all. Perhaps I’m the one who should get better at making myself understood.” Though if he’s quite honest it’s an effort he’s attempted before to little avail.

He’s at an advantage here, actually: because Pikesplash so easily goes on talking, he can sit back and listen without having to torture himself over the wording of every little sentence he gives in response. He nods along, ears pricked as Pikesplash speaks: he’s an insightful tom, with a perspective Snakeblink hasn’t heard before, and it’s a learning opportunity that rarely presents itself so easily. Someone or something to make it less scary... Yes, there is some of that, isn’t there? Comfort in company, in kinship; a balm to soothe anxiety and dread.

Though it is a source of anxiety in itself: Snakeblink is amazed that Pikesplash can so casually mention his own disappearance. Even knowing Starclan awaits them, death haunts him like an owl; an unseen threat, ready to strike at any moment, unavoidable and ever unplanned. ”Indeed, parenting never truly ends, hm?” he hums. ”Otterkit is lucky to have your wisdom to guide him.” His voice is edged with the suggestion of humor, tinged with sarcasm: the kit certainly needs all the wise guidance he can get.

The tom’s next question takes him aback: it hits a part of him that he rarely dares to think about, though it always lingers at the back of his mind. He looks away, mulling it over. Would he like a family of his own? Yes, a thousand times yes. His heart yearns for the distant comfort of his littermates, the safety of his mother’s attention, the unconditional love and acceptance of loving blood relations. But to make a family like Pikesplash or Willowroot have… It’s a beautiful, terrifying thought. Daunting in its appeal. Especially when he struggles so much with gaining what affection he can from his clanmates.

Pikesplash’s open confession catches him off guard as a result. He can’t help the faint, deeply pleased purr that kicks up in his throat at the words, nor the way his eyes narrow and his whiskers lift in a smile. He’s thinking of reciprocating the words, as awkward as that would feel, when the tabby speaks again — strangely enough. He blinks owlishly, ears angling back in confusion. A… feeble owl? He would almost believe himself insulted, if not for the other’s eager, kindly tone.

Then, it registers: it is a joke, or a compliment, or most likely both; an echo of Snakeblink’s own clumsy words. His lips pull into a more genuine smile than he can usually muster as his breath comes out in a huff that builds and builds into a helpless chuckle. Mirth transforms his face, relaxing the cunning and severe traits into something easier to look at.

”Ah, so this is what I sound like! Truly, I have a way to go if I hope to get into anyone’s good graces,” he says through his laughter. ”And so do you, I’m afraid. Though you ought to be careful: this could have seriously hurt the feelings… of a kit, perhaps, or a particularly sensitive apprentice. Buttercups, really? I'm curious to hear what else you can come up with...”

His laughter subsides after a few more moments and he sighs pleasantly.

”Still, I’m glad,” he says with true feelings — picking the thread of Pikesplash’s earlier words back up; unwilling to let friendship go unanswered. ”I value your good opinion more than you know, or than I should.” But just this once, he believes he can get away with giving so much weight to another’s feelings toward him. Pikesplash is nothing if not benevolent.

And, because he is kind and curious and has spoken so much of his own feelings, Snakeblink goes back further and gives some of himself as well.

”I would like kits of my own someday,” he says slowly, considering, unable to keep the raw yearning entirely out of his voice. ”Though it’s highly unlikely that anything will come out of that desire. I haven’t the faintest idea where I would procure kits, let alone a mate to help me raise them. Because,” he adds with a jerk of his head towards Pikesplash, ”I know that I could never do what you do — raise a kit on my own, that is. I know myself to be unsuited for such a momentous task: seeing my skills as a mentor, I shiver to imagine what I would be like as a parent!”

He quirks up a self-deprecating smile. Stars know what kind of baggage he would give kits without another’s mitigating influence. The last thing this forest needs is more of him. But oh, the joy it would be: small kits in his care, to love and nurture and protect. In his mind’s eye they look a little like what he remembers of his siblings. In the privacy of his own mind, he also conjures images of a partner, though these are hazier: half-dreamt glimpses of a sturdy frame, the whisper of a deep voice, love and comfort he doesn’t have to beg and bargain for. It would certainly be nice.

”But maybe there is hope for me still,” he continues with a glance that invites Pikesplash into the humor of the sentence. ”It might fall on me out of the blue, as it did you. What about you? Did you dream of having kits, before you were given one?”
​

——————————————————————————————————— so god damn lonely ​

ooc. information.

• 
  
• — Snakeblink • he / him. 42 ☾, riverclan warrior
  — a sleek, skinny tabby with long ears and a scar over his right eye.
  — gay, not actually evil, penned by @Kangoo
  
  
  

​

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