sensitive topics feel like it’s all downhill [silent panic attack]

[GRAVELSNAP]

CW ;; vague description of a panic attack

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Since the night they’d experienced their first… episode, Gravelsnap has found themself terrified of having another one. They try to keep as close as possible to Badgermoon when they start feeling nervous—the deputy had helped them calm down during the first one, so surely he could help them again. Luckily, though, it isn’t often that they feel too panicked to deal with it, to tough it out without tipping off any suspicious clanmates. They cannot show weakness, not now. They have an apprentice now, a young clanmate to look after and teach the ways of being a warrior.

The responsibility of training Thriftpaw weighs heavily upon their shoulders, and since the meeting they haven’t been able to push away the fear that comes with being assigned an apprentice. What if they mess up? What if… what if Thriftpaw gets caught up in a battle and gets hurt? What if everyone blames them? The anxiety digs in its heels, settles deep and tugs, and the force of it sends Gravelsnap’s steps faltering. They can feel it beginning to cloud their thoughts as they stop short just beside the entrance to camp, stumbling slightly and bumping their shoulder against a clanmate’s. The touch makes them flinch—they spring backward, only to stagger again as dizziness causes their vision to blur.

"I’m fine," they grumble before being asked, hardly able to hear their words over the sound of their own heart pounding in their chest. Their tail, for once, rests limply behind them, motionless. The world tilts around them, and for a moment they think they may faint, but Gravelsnap manages to keep their paws steady beneath them.
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[ you put the fun into dysfunction ]​

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[HARRIERSTRIPE]

Harrierpaw’s vague expression is unwavering when he is shoved slightly to the side. At first he suspects an apprentice was playing games with him, but instead he sees a black and white pelt, Gravelsnap. The apprentice blinks in surprise, the young warrior typically wasn’t the type to trip over their own paws. Instead of concern a surge of admiration pulses through him, Harrierpaw doesn’t even think of the possibility that their is turmoil boiling inside the warrior’s head.

I’m fine. Harrierpaw wasn’t going to ask, but he nods, ”Okay.” Slowing his stride he’s still oblivious to the feline’s struggle, ”Think you can tell me about the battle in RiverClan? I heard you had fought really well- hadn’t you still been a ‘paw’?” His brain strains to remember previous tales.​

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Spoiler: TAGS 🪶 05-18

( primary character / "speech" / ic opinions )​

╰ ჻ 001 GENERAL INFORMATION ,
· HARRIERPAW, male — he / him
╰ ‣ 5 moons . pisces. ages on the 14th
╰ ‣ windclan apprentice . believes in starclan

╰ ჻ 002 VISUALS & AESTHETICS ,
· DOMESTIC FELINE, smells of the earth and dry grass , status — 100%
╰ ‣ blue and brown chimera . average sized WindClanner . yellow eyes

╰ ჻ 003 MENTALITY & MANNERISMS ,
· ESTJ-A ❝ EXECTUTIVE ❞ , Slytherin, Chaotic neutral
╰ ‣ self-reliant, loyal, disciplined, direct, impatient, unsympathetic, judge mental
╰ ‣ finds moderate difficulty in relating to others . can be cruel

╰ ჻ 004 INTERACTIONS & RELATIONSHIPS ,
· WEASELCLAW x SOOTSTAR, brother to Cloudedsky, Moorpaw, Adderpaw, Bluepaw & Cottonpaw
╰ ‣ nephew to Mintshade & Bluepool
╰ ‣ sexuality unknown
╰ ‣ apprentice to Firefang
╰ ‣ okay fighter . okay hunter .
╰ ‣ will start fights . unlikely to flee .
╰ ‣ attack in underline . penned by user @ava.​

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[Badgermoon]

Badgermoon wasn't sure what had happened when he had found Gravelsnap collapsed out on the moors, uninjured by all appearances but clearly unwell. He'd not known what to do but be there for the young warrior, offering his presence and his ears; it seemed to have worked well enough, if only because the episode hadn't gotten worse, and by his standards, that was a victory. And while he'd thought about the bicolor cat's well-being on multiple occasions, affairs of the mind and heart weren't his specialty, and he'd avoided prying - or so he told himself.

Perhaps I'm just cowardly. the yellow-eyed feline reflected with a wry flick of his ear. Regardless of his prior experience, he was certainly no expert on Gravelsnap's moods, so he failed to clock the moor-runner as beginning to descend into a state of panic as he approached camp after a patrol. He did note their unsteadiness on their paws, though, and dropped the lark he'd caught at their feet.

"Whoa, easy there, or you'll run someone right over." Badgermoon mrowed with a little purr. "Why don't you sit and have a bite to eat and regale us with your war stories?" he had, of course, been at the RiverClan battle - but he had been very busy getting his stomach sliced open by Willowroot's claws, and was therefore interested to hear. Besides...Gravelsnap seemed like they could use a moment or two or of calm. Right?​

 

[Periwinklebreeze.]

❀​❀ I FEEL SCARED AND I'M STARTING TO SINK ❀❀​
periwinklebreeze | 10 months | demi-boy | he/they | physically medium (pacifist) | mentally easy | attack in bold #ccccff

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Peri is no strange to panic attacks - not that he, either, knows that's what they are. But somehow that's just become a fact of life here in windclan, and he ignores them like he does his regrets. the boys pale eyes grow wide with concern when he sees gravelsnap stumble into harrierpaw, though he cannot find the reason why. He wants to ask if he is okay, if he can help - but others beat him to it, and so he can only stride back into camp on soft paws and nod at badgermoons words, a strained smile on his face. Perhaps he's just tired from todays efforts - that's got to be it, right?

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[GRAVELSNAP]

The warrior prepares to be scolded or snarked at, but instead when he looks up he only sees a pair of yellow eyes, a pelt of brown and blue. Harrierpaw. The apprentice asks them about RiverClan, and Gravelsnap’s breath catches for the briefest moment. The battle that they’d participated in had been months ago, but still they have a lingering sense of dread because of it. WindClan had been successful in their raiding of the other clan’s camp—but something in their head tells them that WindClan has not truly won yet. The fish-eaters will want their vengeance, will eventually come knocking at WindCpan’s walls. Will Gravelsnap get the chance to face his black-furred foe again, to take his eye once and for all?

They nod once when Harrierpaw asks if they’d still been a ‘paw, and ignore the way that something in their chest tightens at the thought. They can still feel the phantom throbbing in their paw from their opponent’s bite. "I—yeah. I was still an apprentice," they say, and their gaze cuts over to where they spot Peri. The other feline doesn’t like fighting, and they wonder if he’ll protest their description of the fight with RiverClan. They nod to Badgermoon, though, and accept the deputy’s offer of food. They don’t necessarily need it, but they are grateful for it anyway. "I fought against another apprentice. I nearly took his eye." He grimaces at the thought, shifting upon his paws in an effort to keep his balance through another wave of verrigo. He’d attempted to do something like what Weaselclaw did to one of RiverClan’s lead warriors, and he wonders whether it would have been worth it. If he’d managed to do it, would he have a target painted on his back, as Weaselclaw does? What an awful thought.
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[ you put the fun into dysfunction ]​

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