FIRE IN MY SOUL, FIRE IN MY HEART | return

[SILVERSMOKE]

They say there is a ghost within SkyClan's territory, a restless spirit that did not yet feel satiated by its time within the forest. Its fur, pale and grey as morning mist, could be seen from time to time, darting to and from pine trees in its attempts to find whatever it was that kept it tied to the mortal realm. On the territory again, alone and uncertain of what had happened this past half-moon, Silversmoke did not feel anymore alive than he did dead. Questions and worries ran like leopards in his mind and no matter how fast he sprinted, he could not outrun them. Belphegor had said everything was fine, but... he could not know, not until he saw it for himself. His cone had been ripped off partway through his efforts, snagged on a tree branch then clawed off until it slipped over his head, left abandoned to the elements.

The way home had not been forgotten, would never be forgotten. The spectre moved through the lands with ease, pressing through thin patches of foliage and doing little to conceal himself from whatever may have been lurking within the territory. He had made the promise to the Twoleg, and would make a promise to anything that threatened stop him as well - StarClan help anything that became a barrier between Silversmoke and his home. Dusk had settled over the land by the time he had almost arrived and, through the one-track effort to be reunited with his home, a face could not help but enter his mind. A face that had became the beacon he turned to, the light trusted just as much as the Stars themselves, the irritating, excitable Daylight Warrior whom he was proud to know. He would priortise reaching camp first, next, he would priortise seeing Johnnyflame again before the night tortured him with one more day of separation.

He moved past a familiar bunch of ferns, and a new hope reignited his heart. He pushed himself beyond what he'd thought possible and, within moments, he'd reached the camp, the faces of those he'd missed all turning to look at him. All the worries, all the thoughts that something might have happened in his absence, faded, leaving naught behind but memories as soft as silk. The camp was where it'd been left, its inhabitants healthy, safe. He felt arrogant, as if the clan would crumble apart without him, but humbled and happy that it had not. He'd thought he'd never thought himself as more than a piece of the puzzle, something that could never be replaced but would not ruin the whole picture should it go.

Perhaps being a Lead Warrior had affected his ego more than he thought.

Relief stabbed and his heart and his hindlegs buckled beneath him from exhaustion, the tom breaking out into a pant.

He was home. And through his exertion, he could not help but smile and silently weep.

​

 

[DOEBLAZE]

" Come along, you two, " she mrrows to her apprentices with a flick of her tail, nodding for Primrose and Cloudypaw to leave their finished meals behind and trail her as she heads towards the camp's exit. Mealtime was over, both for her—a bluejay feather still clings to the paleness of her muzzle, and she sneezes when it flutters away—and for her charges; her plan for the day's remainder is exacting. She'd already planted the seeds for the pair to become adept in climbing, but it was an instinct one had to nurture—today, they'd hopefully conquer one of the more challenging trees, its lower limbs set further upwards and its trunk a little less craggy.

" I'm hoping that— " she begins as they stride in a small pack towards the fern - lush mouth of camp. Her husky meow dies in her throat when the seaglass - clarity of her eye settles on a silvered specter—for surely StarClan would not have been so kind as to resolve this latest tragedy—but no, he takes another step forward, tears slipping down the harsh curve of his muzzle. Doubt strikes her for a moment, for surely Silversmoke would never be caught crying . . . but the split - hued eyes, one scar - marked; the freckled tabby pelt; the voice of the stranger on the border ringing in her ears: He wanted me to tell you he will find a way home.

" Silversmoke? " Doeblaze mrrows hoarsely, disbelievingly, lilac brows falling limp as a furrow grows in their middle, maw parting in unabashed shock. For a moment, she is still—caught in shock as a deer in headlights, disbelief and relief and surprise rippling across her face. She is shocked to find gratitude nestling in her heart, for there is certainly no great love between her and the tabby she had thought lost to time and tragedy, the very same cat standing before her now. She allows herself a questioning repetition, " Silversmoke? "

She is unabashed in her shock; for she had leapt to the worst as a comforting embrace, one that strangled. She had assumed he was gone forever, be that lost to Twolegplace's depths or the grasping claws of death—and so to see him alive before her now . . . to say it leaves her surprised is an understatement in the extreme.

Then her better instincts kick in and her neck draws into a taut swan's curve, shaggy head twisting to look about her. " Orangest— " she begins, and then memory pulls in close and digs teeth into the back of her neck, setting her hackles to an instinctive rise—remembering not only the bicolor leader's absence, but the arguments that had ensued. Muscle unspools in her jaw, but she turns on her paws, searching for two different tricolor pelts. " @Cherryblossom! Someone get Cherryblossom, I don't know where she is. "

An exasperated sigh unwinds from her chest, comforting in its familiarity—and it would be a lie to say Cherryblossom is the first cat that leaps to mind. The bell - curve of her neck lifts high, straining to see amidst the growing crowd of larger Clanmates, and she settles for yelling, " @Johnnyflame! It's Silversmoke, he's back! "

OOC : Yelling for Cherryblossom and Johnnyflame <3

♥︎

​

 

[SLATESNARL]

Defeated, simmering in his own frustrations, Slate lays in his nest with his dull amber eyes staring out of the mouth of the leader's den. The day had brought a fiasco—and rightfully so; cats were dying, a lead warrior was missing, and now Orangestar was also missing in action. Would SkyClan survive this terrible string of events? What was going to happen next? The future's uncertainty dampened Slate's spirits as he was no longer compelled to bark orders at his clanmates and push for action. He feels as if it's not too long before he marches out of camp and treks toward Highstones himself.

The falling of dusk only heightens Slate's concerns but a momentary distraction captured the lead warrior's attention — shocked gasps and excited murmurings buzzed about in camp. For a moment, the Maine Coon's heart leaps and takes his body with him, the tom ducking out from the den and frantically peering toward the camp entrance. It is not a pelt of cream and ginger that he finds—that he's been hopeful to see—but a patterning of silver and darker grays. Slate's excitement diminishes, though not entirely — Silversmoke had been missing for half a moon and now he was standing here in camp. SkyClan had escaped the loss of another warrior, it seems. This was good news.

Slate is slower to join the crowd; some clanmates are overjoyed and relieved to see their friend again, so he would yield to their moments of reunion first. He's stood in neutrality with Silversmoke for some time, a mutual understanding so to speak, but they were never the closest comrades. Still, Slate felt inclined to offer his own greeting — simple but acknowledging Silversmoke's return, his success and his welcomed presence in SkyClan. "You really did it." Genuine awe colors his tone, though not in the snarky manner that he would have once used with his former rival, eyebrows raising as he blinks the disbelief away from his eyes. So, that kittypet hadn't been lying when he claimed that the imprisoned warrior would find a way out. Slate did not doubt Silversmoke's ferocity and his dedication to SkyClan, but twoleg homes could sometimes be inescapable.

The Maine Coon could only imagine the overwhelming relief that the silver tabby feels, being surrounded by his clanmates after half a moon of utter hell. Slate could recall how glad he was to sleep in his nest under the boughs of the pines after being held in the Shelter for so long. "You're home, now." The gruff warrior rumbled with a nod of his head. Whether they agreed or not, whether they got along or not, they were clanmates above all. This was Silversmoke's home as much as it was Slate's; it would be difficult to imagine Silversmoke living any other life.

𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐈 ✹ .　 + 　˚ 　　 · 　 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐅𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐔𝐑𝐕𝐈𝐕𝐄

• 

• 

  a lead warrior of skyclan, slate is forty-one moons and is mentoring coffeepaw. he is a hulking longhaired maine coon with black fur and prominent reddish rusting on his chest and belly. scars litter his form but are prominently present on his face. ✦

​

 

[Chickbloom]

Silversmoke was dead.

It was a reality that Chickbloom had come to believe, anxious mind so set on the worst-case scenario that he was sure the stern warrior would only be seen with a smattering of stars staining his pelt. The perpetually-terrified tomcat had tried to carry on, but each day that fear of Silversmoke's fate hardened. It grew firmer, more real until it was like a tumor pressing against the boy's brain.

Chickbloom was getting even less sleep than usual, attending to his duties with little energy to spare. He'd heard of the incident at the border, a kittypet claiming his friend was alive. After how the rouges had teased him, though, he was in no mood for false hope. No matter how much proof was given, he would always look for the worst. The warrior wanted to distract himself with work, and was trying to remedy the problem today with a quick nap, sinking into a soft nest even as he knew rest would evade him.

At least, until folded ears flicked up at the sound of Doeblaze's voice.

Yolk-splattered paws stumbled out of the den, the boy blinking rapidly as wide amber eyes attempted to peer through the crowd. For a few moments, Chickbloom believed he had fallen asleep, transported to a rare good dream as respite from the mounting pressures that faced Skyclan in the real world. Then Slate padded forwards, and more cats joined the growing chorus of voices, and only then did the whelp realize he was awake.

Sprinting forwards, Chickbloom practically threw himself into Silversmoke's side, burying a yolk-stained face in the other's fur while weeping. "S-S-Silversmoke!" The warrior sobbed, not sure where to begin when it came to expressing his feelings. "I - I missed you so m-much! I was s-so scared…p-please, don't - n-never leave again!"​

 

[TWITCHBOLT]

SkyClan felt adrift, and Twitchbolt's paws itched to do something about it- anything, truly ... chaos kept flittering about them, incessant and burning. The most he could do was maintain some normalcy- he'd been preparing Candorpaw for a day of climbing practice, honing which would be murder on his legs, probably ... it took him a second to notice the din echoing around him. Startled, Twitchbolt's head whipped around- olive eyes fluttered open, shock glimmering there when he caught sight of a silver pelt, shuddering with sobs.

Silversmoke, certainly. Twitchbolt's gut, so tightly coiled with anxiety now for days on end, loosened its cracking hold- crumbled just that little bit away. For he was not the last missing Clanmate, but ... he was one whose disappearance had rumbled through every paw, had shook the stability in Johnnyflame's eyes. "Shit, man- Silversmoke!" he said breathily, and then loudly, jade eyes lightening with relief. Chickbloom rushed forward, Doeblaze called for Orangest- Cherryblossom, for Johnnyflame; even Slate seemed amazed.

And Twitchbolt didn't surge forward like the rest of them did, but he lingered in his usual soft way- glancing to Silversmoke, over his shoulder, to each tear-glistening eye. "G-gave us a real scare," he said, the last word bursting out of him with something of a laugh. He was so wracked with relief that he could barely stand straight up, and his namesake twitching layed up more ferociously than it had in a long while. "W-ww- welcome home." For all the times they'd mildly disagreed within the walls of the leaders' den, Silversmoke was a cat Twitchbolt would eternally have a respect for, if for anything his tireless dedication to SkyClan.

And seeing this, maybe it really was tireless work... he didn't imagine Silversmoke would weep like this if he wasn't severely sleep deprived. ​

penned by pin ✧​

 

[SILVERSMOKE]

His head shot up within an instant as the first figure approached him, his smile shaking, his eyes narrowing to find focus past the tears that blurred them. He recognised spots like snow upon a deer and alarm scattered his thoughts; did he still have permission to feel the way he did? Silversmoke was not asking Doeblaze, who seemed too stunned to comment, but himself. She called for Cherryblossom and Johnnyflame, names that meant so much in different ways, names that he could not react to as he heaved for oxygen and begged his lungs to work even harder. His gaze briefly flickered to the sky, the red hues mixed with lavenders and oranges. It was the first time in too long he could look straight up and see more than a white ceiling, but beyond his relief, the tom felt amazed - it had not been this beautiful when he'd escaped. The sky had been a brilliant blue... just how long had he ran?

More clanmates come to visit him and his wide pupils settle upon Slate. 'Doeblaze... and even you...' His words had not been kind to them, but neither had theirs to him - too often he could butt heads with his clanmates, yet he saw them now, promising him that he was home. A quiet affection simmered within, melting whatever misgivings he had about his expression. He smiled again, wider than before, wider enough to make the corners of his muzzle and contorted scar skin hurt. "It wasn't just me, the kittypet helped me." He'd distracted the Twoleg enough for him to a make a break for the window, the spotted tom did not see a world where he would've escaped without a partner.

'I always thought I had to do things alone, but... it made me weaker. Being strong enough to protect SkyClan means being strong enough to know when I cannot do it alone.' Everyone here would protect him, just as he would protect them... even if they were pain in the asses. He was about to speak again when a cream-and-white figure darted between them... and did not stop. Silversmoke's tail fluffed out, his fur spiked like a hedgehog's, eyes wide as he opened his mouth to protest. But, no sounds could be uttered before he felt a head press into his side, his flank growing sodden from tears that dropped from the other's face. Silversmoke's eyes squeezed shut. "Watch the back," he hissed through clenched teeth, flinching before the pulsating pain dissolved. He sat as a gargoyle, hind legs splayed out in uncomfortable directions, body stiff and contorted as if Chickbloom's hug promised a plague.

Then, as if coming back to life, he raised a white forepaw, and aimed to wrap it around Chickbloom's back.

The whiskers upon his body ignited with discomfort, but he didn't listen to his instincts; he had missed the other too much to care. The timid little Scottish Fold had been one of the friends he'd missed the most, a creature he'd tried to help the best he could, who had so much heart that it was difficult for some of it not to be given to the maine coon mix. Guilt hastened his voice. "I'm sorry," his ears flattened. "I didn't fight hard enough. But next time, I won't be taken so easily." A second chance. A half-moon ago, he believed he hadn't deserved one, but his clan gave him one so willingly that it was difficult to even remember that he'd failed them before.

He turned to Twitchbolt and used his other paw to rub his eyes, the corners of them growing bloodshot as he looked beyond the Lead Warrior's eyes. "I'm ready to serve my clan again. Whatever needs doing, I will get it done." He moved to stand and felt a wobble to his lactic acid-burned limbs. His tail stopped swaying in defeat, his head bowed in his admittance of weakness. Yet, it didn't feel like weakness at all. "Next sunhigh. Is... is Johnny still here?"

​

 

[Howlfire]

If Silversmoke's disappearance had been sudden, then his return is no less sudden. In fact, for a moment, Howlfire doesn't believe it, and has to take a second, lingering glance to be certain of what she's seeing.

Howlfire does not linger in joining her clanmates to greet him, though given that he seems exhausted and several of their other clanmates are already gathering around him, she holds back. She listens to how he had made his escape with interest, recalling how their daylight warriors had once helped rescue those taken to the Shelter. Of all his welcomes, it is Chickbloom's that is perhaps the most touching, even if Silversmoke has to gently warn him off.

"It is good to see you again, Silversmoke," She mewed, dipping her head in acknowledgement to the tabby. "We were worried we might not see you again." As she says that, she is reminded of the cryptic words of the rogues that had recently caused issues on their borders. Silversmoke is ready to get back to work, but does request they wait until tomorrow. "I don't think Orangestar or Cherryblossom would begrudge you that," She mused with a small chuckle. At his question about Johnnyflame she blinks and looks over her shoulder. "They haven't been around as much, but they're still here. I don't know if they're here today though..."​

 

[Johnnyflame]

MY WORLDS ON FIRE, HOW 'BOUT YOURS?
THAT'S THE WAY I LIKE IT AND I NEVER GET BORED."​

---

Howlfire was not wrong in her statement. Johnnyflame had become a ghost in camp since Silversmokes disappearance. It wasn’t something the bobtail was blind to, and the guilt of knowing he was cutting his time in the pines purposefully short had weighed heavy on the tomcat- enough so that he’d punished himself by taking away the only other important thing he had going in his life; his rank of lead warrior. He was certain he’d feel the sting of that one in the future when his head had cleared, but he wouldn’t ever regret his decision to put Silversmoke first. The spotted tom might cuff him for not putting Skyclan above him -the self sacrificing bastard that he was- but Johnny didn’t give one damn. The odd-eyed cat was worth every second of the effort and the daylight warrior wouldn’t be told anything else.

So yes, much of his time had been dedicated to tearing through twoleg place in search of the missing kittypet he’d scented the day of Silvermsokes disappearance- a search that had ultimately proved futile, mostly because it hadn’t been necessary at all. Belphegor had found Skyclan instead.

Johnny had been livid of course. It’d taken too long for the stranger to come forward with answers, and when they’d refused to let the ex-lead follow them to see for himself, his suspicion and frustration had hit an all time high. Had it not been for the other Skyclanners there assuring him that his anger wouldn’t help, he might not have given the kittypet a chance at all.

But he had.

And hadn’t left the territory since.

He was still a ghost, only now instead of scouring twolegplace for the cat who smelled of flowers, he spent his spare time watching the border like a hawk. He hadn’t been home at all, choosing instead to sleep in Silversmokes nest, only eating the leftover bits of other cats prey that went unwanted.. His twolegs would no doubt be worried, but he couldn’t bring himself to leave and see them. He knew they were fine. But he couldn’t say the same about the cat who’d been stolen away, taking Johnnys heart with him. And he couldn’t stand the thought of not being there if Silversmoke were to show up, especially after the visit from the kittypet.

’I’m here because he wanted me to tell you he will find a way home. And to tell a Johnnyflame, whatever that is, that he is sorry.’

So Johnny had let Belphegor go, and he had kept his word and stayed behind instead of tracking them down and breaking into their twolegs nest, all under the blind trust that Silversmoke would keep his promise and find a way home.

And find a way home, he did.

”Johnnyflame! It’s Silversmoke, he’s back!”

From the mouth of the warriors den, a patched tabby face appeared. Ears pricked forward, shoulders tense, their sunkissed gaze one of hesitance and hope. He’d waited for weeks to hear those words, none as charged as the last few days had been now that he had Belphegor's words hanging over his head. A promise of life. Of a reunion soon to come. All Johnny had to do was be patient enough to wait for it and to trust that it would happen.

His vision blurred with the tears he’d been fighting back ever since they went missing, the dam seeming to crack the moment it caught sight of him at the center of the crowd. Doeblaze, Slate,Twitchbolt, and Howlfire stood there with awe stricken faces, Chickbloom bawling into Silversmokes side as the spotted tom did his best to embrace them back.

The fur along their back had been cut short where the vets stitches had gone in, and Johnny could make out the familiar line around their neck where a plastic cone had surely been fitted not long before. They were thinner, too, their body shaky from a mix of exhaustion and the sheer force of emotion, and on that last part Johnny thought he could relate. Because the relief at seeing the cat he loved alive and well and right there in front of him was almost crushing- enough to send his stubborn resolve splintering and cracking under the weight of it so that his paws shook.

Johnny hadn’t let himself cry aside from when he’d spilled his guts to Doeblaze, but watching the scene before him play out had him nearly drawing in torrent of his own emotions. It was ultimately simple shock that kept him silent and rooted in place, watching as the larger cat finally got to his feet to address Twitchbolt.

”Is Johnny still here?”

His heart gave a painful squeeze at the sound of his name in their mouth, so familiar that it physically hurt.

”I don’t know if they’re here today, though…”

”I’m here.” he called out, the spell seeming to break as Howlfires words suddenly left him desperate to clarify that he was present. That he’d been waiting and was there. He wasn’t sure when he’d started crying, but the tears came quietly, streaking down his cheeks as his paws finally carried him forward and through the crowd.

””Silversmoke.”

So much to pick apart in just a single word, every thought, regret, emotion, and whispered prayer over the last several weeks all threatening to drag him under. There were a thousand things he wanted to say as he tucked himself against the others chest and buried his face against their neck, pulling them as close as he could manage without hurting them. But where would he even begin?

”I looked for you every day, I swear on all the stars in the sky.” he wasn’t sure why it felt so important to say so, but there was an almost urgent need to convey it- to make them understand that even when they had been alone and hurt and searching for a way back home, that home had been searching for them, too.

Skyclan had not simply forgotten him and moved on, and neither had Johnny.

"Do you have any idea how many cats I nearly tore apart trying to find you? Must have made enemies with half the neighborhood- particularly the tortoiseshells." he tried to joke, but his wobbling half-smile betrayed just how serious it had all been to him. "But it's okay now- your home, aye? Safe and sound." he sniffled, daring to keep as close as Silversmoke would allow him to, ready to act as a literal shoulder to lean on to help combat the others obvious exhaustion.

"Tell me you didn't run the entire way in this heat. It's too hot out for that, love." he chided softly, not noticing his slip-up in the moment as his thoughts turned to Violetnose. "Can someone bring him some water? And something off the prey pile?" he asked, momentarily glancing toward his clanmates before settling back on his main priority. "Was that twoleg not feeding you right? I'll skin that kittypet alive if he was taking your share." he growled, the words spoken in earnest. Belphegor may have proven to be honest, but he wasn't fully on Johnnys good side yet.

---

​

 

[SILVERSMOKE]

Howlfire stepped through the crowd, keeping her distance, and a part of him would find himself grateful. He looked to his fellow warrior with reverence, twisting his head towards the earth in silent guilt for the worry he'd caused. "When that rogue ran away, I was too fired up that I didn't realise a Twoleg was watching." Nor, allegedly, did he realise that the rogue hadn't exactly survived the encounter with him. He'd seen red at an innocent being attacked and, the next thing he knew, his back was alight with pain and blood ran down the side of his face from a Twoleg's paw, torn into as if it were prey. It had been reckless, stupid, but he didn't regret risking himself to save another. It was the way he thought he was always going to die - it was just a miracle the Stars permitted him to continue living.

She mentioned Orangestar and Cherryblossom, relief shining in his eyes at the mention of their names, then, Johnnyflame's name came next. 'They haven't been around as much', Howlfire admitted, and silently, he wondered if everything was ok within the other's home, if there was anything he could've done to help the other if he'd been around. Silversmoke did his best to swallow his disappointment, nodding solemnly. Silversmoke was not at the centre of Johnnyflame's life, he could not expect the other to wait hand-on-foot for him to return, if ever. But... waiting one more night was torture, he did not know if he could sleep, knowing how much there was to say to the other.

However, StarClan had answered many prayers that day, and the ancestors he'd once thought aloof and dismissive shone their light upon him once more. A familiar figure appeared from the entrance of the warrior's den, and just as he had been the grey ghost, the warrior at first thought his odd gaze had settled upon an autumn poltergeist.

A bright yellow stared back at him like headlights, unblinking, wide, a maw parted open to reveal teeth cleaner than any wildcat's. He closed his eyes for but a moment, believing Howlfire that the other may have already left, but when he opened them again, he instead saw the specter running towards him. In his haze, the Daylight Warrior looked too perfect, any semblance of stress or sadness on the other's feature melting away in the spotted tabby's mind at the sheer idea that he was real. That was the thought that gave him the energy to stand. Hind limbs wobbling, he pushed himself forward, reaching Johnnyflame's embrace with an eagerness that he would have never expected from himself. His large cranium could not find a place to settle, bunting the other left and right, trying to take in a scent long since lost to time. Tomorrow, he would be embarrassed. Today, he could not care, inhibitions smothered by hunger and fatigue. "You're here," he repeated in a whisper, purring. "Thank the Stars."

"Not a moment went by when I didn't think of home, the thought of seeing you all again... of seeing you again, was the prayer that got me here," he murmured into the other's fur, wishing he could hold onto it forever out of fear that, if he let go, he would be whisked away again. He knew he could not keep Johnnyflame within the clan forever, the cat was one of two loyalties, both as stalwart as each other, both important. The fear that the other would one day never return had crossed his mind, but, when the same had almost happened to him, he learned it was no excuse to keep an emotional distance. To live was to experience ephemeral things, to not be afraid of their inevitable end, but to enjoy them whilst they lasted. He cast an incredulous look towards the other at his lighthearted confession, the scaring of all the calicos in the Twolegplace causing him to nudge the other's side like a mentor correcting an apprentice. "Mousebrain... What were you doing to do? Break into the Twoleg nest?" His tone mixed disbelief and warmth, perturbed Johnnyflame had sacrificed duty for him, yet, weirdly touched by it too. He was sure to find more issues with it after a good night's sleep but, for now, he was just glad to see the other again.

The word love felt natural coming from the chimera, so natural that it took tufted ears a moment to register what it even implied. His exhausted eyes cast a glance towards the Daylight Warrior, brows flashing in surprise. Questions flooded his mind, the proverbial ash in his mouth preventing a single one being uttered. There was an implication that made his heart soar to the very Stars themself, a suspicion, after all this time, that Johnnyflame's crush may not have been on just any random warrior. His tail lowered like a sinking stone as an uneasy guilt settled within him. They had been two halves separated by fate, brought together once more by sheer determination - and neither had been able to confess before they risked never uniting again. He didn't get a chance to confirm his suspicions before concern reached the other about his condition.

His ears flattened, urgency entering his tone. "No! No, it wasn't him." His friends had always threatened that pride would be the death of him - be it the pride in SkyClan, or the pride to be a SkyClanner, and no sooner did their warnings resonate than as he opened his mouth to explain his weight loss. "I feared acceptance of my circumstances... that I might never get out of there if I ate my fill and slept the days away." He would grow comfortable being uncomfortable, lamenting never seeing the ones he loved again while doing nothing to help himself. He may have made himself worse if he stayed any longer within the four walls of his living room prison - just as Johnnyflame feared an earful from him, as did Silversmoke from Johnnyflame. Kibble wasn't a death sentence to anything but the promise that he may return home safe.

Fatigue gripped him, but he had something he wanted to say, no, needed to say before the chimera went home. He moved back to look into the other's eyes. "My place is in SkyClan.... and by your side, if you would have me." The gravity of his clanmate's stares suddenly hit him again - all these cats cared about him, and they wouldn't begrudge him saying what he had tried to say for moons. But the 'm' word stood stalwart on his mind, refusing to budge past the nervousness that gripped his throat like a boa. Wouldn't they be surprised? Would his selfishness take away from their happiness to see him again? His blinks slowed, He knew he was tired, delusional even, but even now, he did not see a world where he would regret what he had said. A firm smile coiled upon his muzzle, embarrassment causing his ears to flush. "Don't make me spell out what I mean." Three simple words, too scary to say amidst a crowd: 'I love you.'

​

 

[DOEBLAZE]

The Clan streams from the crevices of the pines, a flow of multicolored pelts appearing to behold the miraculous return of their faithful warrior. She withdraws into the crowd a little, stands silent and unshaking amongst them, finding herself buoyed to the forefront of the gathering group. Slate is visible at the corner of her limited vision, his gruff voice coloured with the vibrancy of awe—and then Chickbloom erupts into the scene in an explosion of hay - colored fur and tears. Doeblaze chuffs softly at the mingling reactions of the yellow - dipped warrior and Twitchbolt's breathy exclamation, shock turning easily to amused relief as a layer of stress slides off her tight - wound shoulders.

. . . and then, as Johnnyflame arrives, the budding smile slips from her muzzle, evading her grasping claws. She can hardly hear Howlfire's level words, the warrior's usually - soothing steady presence fading away. It had been she who called for the faux - torbie warrior, excited to see the creases of sadness erase themselves from his tabby - marked countenance—and yet—and yet pain twists in her belly, a sword splitting her ribs at the way Johnnyflame breathes out his name like a prayer.

" I— " she chokes out, animal hurt making her throat feel tight and bramble - lined. The two are lost amidst a dance meant for two, a world enclosed entirely to the pair of them—and it's so familiar it feels like jaws crushing her windpipe. A Clanmate retrieves the piece of prey Johnnyflame requests for the triumphant warrior, aglow with the light of his return and flush with love, their face blurred in the edges of her vision. Her voice is nearly a whisper, unwilling to destroy their moment, " I'll go pick up something to replace that. "

She turns quickly on her paws and disappears out into the dusk.

OOC : Out :')

♥︎

​

 

[Johnnyflame]

MY WORLDS ON FIRE, HOW 'BOUT YOURS?
THAT'S THE WAY I LIKE IT AND I NEVER GET BORED."​

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If it hadn’t all been so viscerally real, Johnny would have thought he was dreaming. He’d spent seasons being pushed away and bristled at, even the friendliest of touches rebuked and rebuffed unless it was under the guise of ‘training’. Aside from the hazy half-memories of his drugged walk back to camp after a visit to the vets to deal with his tooth and that day at the river (but hadn’t they technically been training then, too? Or at least, just finishing up?) the bobtail had grown used to being swatted away like he was an unruly kitten.

But there was no hesitation in the spotted tomcat this time. Just a raspy purr and an eagerness to be close that momentary took Johnnys breath away from him as he realised that Silversmoke had missed him just as badly. Had wanted to return to him.

”Mousebrain… What were you going to do? Break into the twoleg nest?”

”Yes.” Johnny replied stubbornly, tone dead serious as he glared up at the other. ” I broke into the shelter to rescue a bunch of cats I’d never even met before- there’s no way I’d leave you to rot in a twolegs nest.” A promise.

Johnny wasn’t stupid. He remembered that day at the fenceline- the one that changed everything for him. When he realized it wasn’t just disgust Silversmoke felt when he looked at the twolegs and their things (including kittypets), but fear. He couldn’t imagine what it must have felt like for the silver tom to be trapped there, injured and vulnerable, not a single familiar face to have his back. He couldn’t imagine they felt any better than those poor souls locked away in the shelter cages, praying they’d get the chance to just go home.

”Your lucky I’m too happy to see you right now to be mad, otherwise I’d be tearing you a new one. Could have made yourself sick if you kept that up much longer- then how would you have gotten away?” Trapped either way, if they were too weak to move. The thought of never seeing Silver again because they'd simply been too stubborn to eat what they were given was just another reason why Johnny would have found some reason to break into that damn nest, even if he had to wear his claws down to nothing ripping through the front door.

There was nothing he wouldn’t do for this cat. Nothing he wouldn’t suffer or give up. Nothing he wouldn’t feel privileged to experience alongsideside them, be it good or bad. Anything, to know they were safe and happy.

When Silversmoke finally did choose to pull away from him, Johnny felt the absence immediately, even if it was only for a moment. The other tom didn’t go far, drawing back just enough for Johnny to properly stare into those pretty, mismatched gems that were so often to invade his thoughts. But nothing could have prepared him for what came next.

He wasn’t sure what emotion sat on his face as the words settled in his brain, mainly because he didn’t think it was possible to physically convey the thirty different things he was experiencing in one single facial expression. Was this real? Did it mean what Johnny thought it meant? Was he misreading something?

But no. Silversmoke was smiling at him, blushing, and telling him not to make him spell it out.

”I-” His words were broken off by a rumbling purr he just couldn’t seem to keep down, every feature on his face lighting up as he nodded quickly while he tried to find his voice. When he did, he was quick to accept what they offering. ”Yes. That- that’s where I want to be, too; right by your side.”

He wanted to show Silversmoke just how much he was loved, how much him just being there made a difference. He wanted to show them all the beautiful things in life and for him to know he was worthy of them. Wanted to give them all the things in life that they never thought they’d be allowed to have.

”And I most certainly will make you say it,” he replied with a mischievous quirk of his lips as he leaned in to gently press their noses together. ”But not now.” he promised gently, gaze and smile softening into something far warmer, something unabashedly loving as he shifted to brush his nose along their cheek and up toward their ear. When he spoke again, it was soft and just for them. ”I love you, too, Silversmoke.”

One day, he'd scream those words to the stars and there wouldn't be a cat on earth who didn't know it. But for now, he was content to let them be just for the one he loved.

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