First thing on my mind || Foxtail

[owlcrest]

feel the rain on your skin

he didn't want Sunpaw to be right. he didn't want anyone to be right. He didn't want to keep sulking though. He didn't keep wanting to be this- frustrated they took his best friend away. He didn't want to keep lamenting and not taking care of himself, all because he was wrong. He was always wrong. His paw dug into the dirt, frustrated, before a sigh left him, gaze lifting to look around camp.

Ever since Nightingalestrike died, he hated things, a lot. In more ways he couldn't understand. He hated making jokes. He hated being him, because everyone hated who he was. Not everyone, but it felt like everyone. He remembered the glares. The disappointment. He could put all his mice into the fact his mentor probably hated him. His old one. Of course Hemlockshine hated him.

He wasn't strong enough. He wasn't fast. He wasn't anything. And he hated feeling like this. He hated this newfound insecurity built up in his chest. He fought in a war for stars sake. Owlpaw did a lot. But no one cares about that.

The chocolate silvered cat let out a foggy huff, kicking up frosted over dirt in frustration as he paced back and forth. And finally, he spotted the white and red cat, coming in with Sunpaw by his side. He spared her a look, a gentle one, before looking at Foxtail. Mismatched gaze looked towards green, head lifting a bit before he approached the lead warrior. His teeth grit but he let out another break, letting the fur relax. This could go two ways. This could go good, or he could completely fuck everything up- like he was good at doing.

You've got a big mouth , owlpaw.

He shook his head, stopping before the other, looking up and down the warrior before turning on his heel. It sounded as if he was about to say something, but owlpaw wasn't making it out right now, and instead flicked his tail. "No, hush, I need to talk to you. Don't say anything, just listen."

Finally when away from Sunpaw, and to the side a little, he lifted his head and turned to the other. He'd watch as foxtail fidgeted, and Owlpaw took another breath. (How many did he even need?) Was he swallowing pride? Or nervous? He couldn't even tell anymore. His head ducked, and he shrank in himself, and he realized in the fluttering of his chest he was nervous.

"Look. I'm stupid. I'm not the smartest of the apprentices around here. But it wasn't right to snap at you, or whatever. And for that, I'm sorry. For disrespecting you. I'm sorry." He said, closing his mouth, because, he did have a big mouth. And it wasn't because he wanted to talk. He just always talked. And he voiced his thoughts aloud because he didn't care to stop the train of words that wanted to follow.

"I do think your cool. You're a lead warrior. And that's pretty cool. Cause, you like, earned it. Earned their respect, earned the clans respect. And that's a win." He said, his voice throwing up his brain thought process, though he regretted it, ducking his head again, and letting out another sigh. It wasn't even that good of an apology , but what else was he supposed to do? How else was one supposed to apologize?

He wished Nightingalestrike was here. Gale could help. But he wasn't, and Owlpaw just felt more alone. He felt empty. And stars, he felt pretty damn useless. About everything.

​

ฅ^._.^ฅ :owl:

• 
  

  

  
  

  
  Owlpaw
  Riverclan Apprentice | Mentored by: Hemlockshine
  Gender: amab, he/him
  Personality: Little Brother Vibes, Hides pain with humor, Competitive, Loyal, Confused easy, Not the smartest tool in the shed.
  Physical: Easy | Mentally: Medium
  May start a fight | will not flee | will show mercy
  Peaceful power play allowed!
  Penned by Deidre
  ​

 

[FOXTAIL]

Foxtail feels a weight being lifted off of his chest as he pads back into camp, his apprentice by his side. Foxtail had been expecting a quick patrol, without as much of a few words being spoken between him and Sunpaw. But before they headed out, Sunpaw opened up to him. The lead warrior still hadn't expected Sunpaw to give such a genuine, heartfelt apology— and she left him feeling... positively surprised? In turn, he apologized for his faults as well— the two have come to understand each other more, even if it was a challenge at first.

He hopes he doesn't get Sunpaw's hopes up too far, by offering to lift the punishment. He hasn't really spoken that much with Owlpaw; he hasn't had the opportunity to silently observe his progress like he did with Sunpaw. This punishment is a tricky one; he has seen Sunpaw's improvement, but what if Owlpaw hasn't learned anything? It would be cruel, if he lifted it for one but not for the other.

His olive green gaze falls onto Owlpaw's mismatched eyes. "Go g-grab something to eat," He murmurs to his apprentice, as the younger tom begins to pad over. He dismisses her with a nod, and lets out a shaky sigh before Owlpaw steps into his view. The younger tom is nearly as tall as he is now, and the lead warrior opens his maw. "...H-Hey Owlpaw, we need to-" ...talk real quick. The rest of his words are cut off as the apprentice talks over him, and Foxtail holds back a sigh.

Well, at least Owlpaw had the same idea as him, right...?

His tail silently swishes back and forth, and he tries to stop his limbs from trembling as he listens to Owlpaw. He immediately wants to open his maw when Owlpaw talks badly about himself— Owlpaw might not be his apprentice, but no apprentice should call themselves stupid. It saddens him to see Owlpaw like this... it's like he's been beating himself up for what happened. But he gives the apprentice a silent nod as he continues, even if he feels... unsure what to think of this apology.

It feels weak, to him at least, but perhaps Owlpaw isn't all that great with his train of thought. The apprentice hangs his head low, seemingly knowing that the apology wasn't, well, the best either. Now that Owlpaw seemed to finish up, Foxtail opens his maw after a silent moment goes by.

"...T-Thank you for the apology, Owlpaw." Foxtail mews with a flick of an ear, as he tries to think as what to exactly to say.

"...I don't think it's f-fair for you to c-call yourself stupid, or not smart," Foxtail gently comments, looking over at him. "Arguments, disagreements, are a l-learning experience," He tries to explain, "You need to respect y-yourself, too."

"O-Owlpaw, I think you're a very bright apprentice," He sighs with a swish of his tail, hoping Owlpaw's gaze will land back onto his own. "...You c-care a lot about your friends," He tries not to wonder if Sunpaw is his only friend, "And from what I-I've seen... you work hard too."

"...You just need to, well, think a little more before you speak," Foxtail admits to the tom, and he hopes Owlpaw won't take it personally. Owlpaw doesn't seem to know how to, well, stop talking.... when he's really pressed on a particular manner. Sometimes it can be hard to stop talking, or to stop throwing your point across... but it can do more harm than good when you don't know when to stop. "Sometimes, what w-we think in our heads.... doesn't come o-out the way we intended when s-spoken," He hopes this helps the tom realize what he's going on about, or start to think on it. "You just need t-to work more on t-that."

"But, It's okay to m-make mistakes... you'll never stop making mistakes; just like the r-rest of us." He tries to wrap up his words, "As l-long as you learn from them.... and continue to grow, that's what truly m-matters."

His apology wasn't the best, in his own opinion, but with his wisdom shared... he hopes Owlpaw will continue to learn and grow. Especially with warriorhood practically around the corner. An ear flicks, and Foxtail wonders if Owlpaw will be just as surprised as Sunpaw was earlier. "I had a long discussion with S-Sunpaw earlier," He tells him, "And I told her that she w-was ready for the punishment to be lifted...." He briefly wonders what Owlpaw must be thinking, but he's quick to continue so he isn't interrupted.

"...And I b-believe you are ready for it to be lifted, as w-well. Just p-promise to me, that you'll continue to work on y-yourself.... okay?"​

𝐨𝐨𝐜 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭

• 
  
  

  ---

  credit to raphaelion (via da) for the artwork <3
• Foxtail

  ​
  

  lead warrior
  26 moons
  warmhearted
  timid
  experience: trained
  backstory: [HYPERLINK]
  biography: [HYPERLINK]
  credit to rai for the chibi <3
  

  cisgender male [he / him]
  eyes: green
  pelt: cinnamon/chocolate
  fur length: long
  parents: dawnflower and redfur (riverclan npcs)
  

  ---

  ​

​