fragile bird bones ⸸ starlingheart

[Magpiepaw]

The moment he is done speaking to Chilledstar he returns to the medicine cat den where he knows she is waiting, it is quiet in here with only the hushed rattle of sick, sleeping cats in the background and the lack of kittens and Granitepelt's intimidating figure is more than a little noticable. Magpiepaw realizes he'll miss it, he'll miss it more than anything else other than Starlingheart herself and the second he wobbles in on his unsteady paws to meet her gaze his own is watering; he's afraid. He had been sure stonefaced and sure then, but now with the realization of what he had done crashing down around him he can't help but be a little scared, a little worried but he does not plead to change the path he has set upon. Despite this unease now filling his throat with black feathers, suffocating him, he is still steadfast as he can be. Bravery was not the lack of fear, but the facing of it.
"...I have to." He warbles out, songbird voice breaking into a hitched and unsteady breath, "I have to-it's important. We need it, they need someone...what if they get hurt..."
To lose one of their clanmates was a horrifiying enough fear but to know he could have prevented it was stronger still and that they might take the precious cure with them if they fell. "...and I...and I can speak to StarClan.....StarClan will surely talk to us...if we get lost, if we need more guidance.."
And a medicine cat was the connection between wasn't it? Only a leader could otherwise seek counsel among the sparkling skies and no leader would be going on this trek into the unknown. They were needed here, they had to stay here. Would any other medicine cats go? He didn't think so at all, Wolfsong had kits Starlingheart had said-he'd not abandon them. Cottonpaw was too knew to have any training, Ravensong was RiverClan's only healer...Berryheart and Lichenpaw? One of them? Or perhaps one of the SkyClan medicine cats? He doubted it for SkyClan especially, a mostly trained apprentice was not something to be risked...but Lichenpaw might? He thinks of his spotted friend and wonders if he might too join them. But something deep in his chest tightens and warns him that he may have taken on a burden far heavier than he could handle.
─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
[Ooc]
@STARLINGHEART
​

 

[Starlingheart]

Like her apprentice, Starlingheart is lost in thoughts about just how much she will miss him, how much she will worry and fret and wonder. She wishes he didn’t have to go, that he could stay right here with her. It is the place he belongs, after all. But she understands why he must go, why he has chosen to. If she were in his paws, young and without kits or the full rank of medicine cat to tie her to her duties here she would have gone too she thinks. Anything to ensure her clan is safe. To ensure her children are safe.

Her emerald colored gaze flickers upwards at the sound of his paws coming closer and as she inspects those deep blue eyes (searching for what she is uncertain fear maybe? Determination? Perhaps a mix of both) he begins speaking. ‘I have to’ he says and before she can say anything he is rambling on. They need him. They being both their clan and the cats on the journey. He mentions StarClan too, how he would speak to them and seek their guidance.

Her eyes start watering and she has to look away for a moment, bringing her forelimb up to wipe the tears away. "Sorry sorry" she says with a sniffle "I’m just- I’m so proud of you Magpiepaw. What you’re doing- it’s it’s so brave and I- it’s okay. I know you have to go. I won’t try and talk you out of it" because what could she say that would justify him staying. The only reasons she could think of were purely selfish and she could not afford to be selfish right now, especially when it had been proven to be so detrimental to her clan only days before.

He was a better cat then she was.

"Before you go I-I made something for you" she admits quietly. She had done it the second the meeting had ended, when he had gone to meet with their leader and she pushes the small bundle forward now. An Ivy leaf wrapped around precious herbs.

​