full moon — shiori

DUSTSTORM

i want to be stronger
Nov 19, 2023
13
1
3
this is who i am . nobody said you had to like it .
︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

Another yawn broke free, front paws pressing into the cold ground as his spine curved upward, stretching with a soft groan. It was a rare occurrence, waking up from another pointless nightmare that he couldn’t bother remembering, although he probably should, Cal didn’t have the time to figure out his issues. He was getting enough sleep, so why bother? The fawn tabby wasn’t nearly as bad as some cats he knew, speaking of them—He squinted through the darkness, catching sight of a familiar pelt. Now what?

Padding closer, Cal sniffled a sigh, shaking his helm. “Shiori.” He greeted dumbly, coming to sit next to the other with what little elegance he had after just waking up. His mind was still groggy, but awake enough to drag the other out of whatever mess he’d get himself into. “Can’t sleep?” He finally muttered after a lengthy pause, golden hues blinking sluggishly, not before slipping his gaze away to peer up at the stars with an appreciative hum. “Pretty, aren’t they?” A rare chance, not something Cal wouldn’t do, but it wasn’t normal to be not angry or annoyed by something that happened that day.

His thoughts strayed to the pair joining SkyClan, brows furrowed into a contemplative expression without realizing. To think they’d be here for the colder seasons brought a twinge of worry, especially since—He found Lux. That was all he could ask for, no less wish after everything that’s happened to his younger brother. Cal breathed, annoyed.

/ @SHIORI.
thought speech
 
For Shiori, it's another sleepless night, something all too common for the tortoiseshell. It's a trait he shares with his father, but one that usually doesn't bother him. Mostly, he just lays in his next, pretending that he's asleep and thinking, but tonight he felt a little restless. Maybe it was the previous nights catching up to him combined with his empty belly, but he slunk out of the den and settled outside the entrance, glancing up towards the sky.

Soon enough, he is joined by a certain fawn tabby. Internally he groans, but tonight he doesn't feel like teasing the other. Instead, he turns his head and simply answers with "Hah, when can I ever?" Because it's true. Even before SkyClan, he doubts that Cal had ever seen him actually sleep.

Returning his gaze to the sky above, he lets out a hum when Cal mentions their beauty. "Yeah, real pretty," he meows. "It's StarClan, y'know? They say StarClan's up there. A cat dies, they become a star in the sky, they watch over you, and they do stuff like... talk to the medicine cats and leaders and like... give them lives and stuff. Isn't that... it's kinda..."

Shiori lacks the energy to put on his mask, he lacks the energy to fully think about what's he's saying, and he lacks the energy to really have a filter. Though he falters slightly, pausing to think, he still continues his ramblings. "...Sometimes I think about my mother and sisters. I don't remember them, 'cause we - I was younger than the littlest ones in the nursery probably when they died. Most of them. Ume, when I got separated from Papa, we lost her too so who knows. Hate dogs, hate 'em..." Catching himself going off on a random tangent, he coughs, taking a moment to regain his train of thought. "Right, uh, if it happened here, y'know, sometimes I think that maybe it happened to them - StarClan before StarClan, right? Maybe they're watching over me right now. They probably aren't, but it's nice to think that they are, haha..."

He's silent for a bit following that, before he shudders. "Ah, it's cold... maybe I should've stolen a bite of whatever you last ate. Oh well, I can go another day or so without, I'll live. Maybe I'll actually sleep if I have absolutely no energy. Wouldn't that be... be a miracle, Cal?" Tearing his gaze away from the stars, he looks towards the other, a gentle expression on his face. He doesn't register that he's forgone the nickname, but it doesn't really matter. What matters is that he feels content here with Cal, and that the rambling seems to have lifted a weight off his chest.​

"Speech"

SOMETIMES THAT LONELY LOVE DEFILES YOU
 
this is who i am . nobody said you had to like it .
︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶
He couldn’t help but agree with the statement, as unnerving as it was to get the other to sleep, but that was why he was here to make sure the idiot took care of himself. Not that he’d ever admit that. Didn’t dare to. Not when Shiori could toss it back into his face. It wasn’t if Cal cared. He just—Damnit. He shouldn’t be letting his emotions get the best of him, anger especially.

When was the last time he genuinely cared for something? Long after his little brother was abandoned, left to die as their parents carted him off with hushed whispers of getting him a new brother, a better brother, one that didn’t look like a monster. It was the first time he felt inexplicit rage, raw and wild, untethered by anything other than wanting revenge.

Blinking clouded hues, Cal listened to Shiori’s long winding rant, ears swerving, listening. How could he not? Shiori filled the quietness in his life, moons worth of solitude and festering in anger.

He stilled, angling his head toward the other—careful. He listened. It was bittersweet. Listening to the other ramble, tiredness weighing heavy with each sentence, nearly making the other drag him back to the warrior’s den, tucking the small feline against a thick, warm chest just to make sure the idiot slept. “They are.” He spoke. “Always.” He rumbled, shuffling closer with a drawn-out rumble.

“You never take care of yourself.” He breathed, pulling away from the other to peer at the fresh-kill pile, dotted with leftovers when he caught sight of a small mouse. Enough to ease the hunger pains Shiori was feeling no doubt, but enough to last until the morning when he dragged the other to hunt for something more fulfilling. He scooped it up between warm lips, carrying the cold kill toward the other, dropping it at the other’s paws. “Eat. I mean it Shiori.” He rumbled, staring at the other, gaze unwavering. “Then we’ll sleep. Anywhere. Outside the camp, if we have to.” He grunted, leaving no room for argument.
thought speech
 
"You're right," Shiori murmurs softly. "Maybe it's a family thing. He's like that too, my father I mean." The tortie closes his eyes briefly, nuzzling closer to the other's chest as he was pulled closer. A fully aware Shiori would tease and never admit he liked it, but the tired Shiori here right now found comfort. It was nice, and he took a deep breath in.

Suddenly, that warmth was ripped away from him, and Shiori let out a small sigh, lips curling into a frown. He quickly brightened up when Cal came back, and he eyed the mouse dropped near his paws. With a small laugh, he took a bite, offering Cal a rare, genuine smile. "You're really nice when I'm not doing anything to make you mad, y'know?"

Doing as he was told, Shiori finished eating the small rodent before turning his attention back to the other. "Do you want to stay here, or do you want to find a place outside camp? I have no preference. And... I will sleep, I promise."
"Speech"

SOMETIMES THAT LONELY LOVE DEFILES YOU
 
this is who i am . nobody said you had to like it .
︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶
“Shut up.” He muttered, turning his helm away from the other, ears angled backward in mild embarrassment. “Just eat the damn thing.” He added, pausing after a slow, agonizing thump of his heart, nostrils flaring outward.

It wasn’t as if he hadn’t been nice, arguably more than he wanted to admit, but what was with this family and self-care? His father was like that too. Of course. It sure didn’t fall too far from the tree, now did it? His younger brother was similar, better at manipulating his way out of things, but there was one thing Cal prided himself on, it was his stubbornness and unwillingness to submit unless he wanted to, better yet, shutting up and listening to the higher-ups, but otherwise, Cal was near unmovable.

He glanced at the eaten mouse, nothing more than leftover bones that couldn’t be digested did he let out a satisfied rumble. “Good.” He added, tone tilted upward in pride. At least you’ll have something in that shriveled-up stomach of yours. He thought grumpily, tail flickering. “And I’ll make sure you sleep.” Idiot. He responded, nudging the other to his paws with a gentle push of his nose toward Shiori’s shoulder. “Get up. I’m getting tired.” He grouched, subconsciously gravitating closer to the smaller feline, helm jerking toward the warrior’s den.

Once situated, Cal would begin the cold trek toward the warrior’s den, ears flat against his helm and a nose wrongfully numb, he slipped inside, gravitating toward the nest he’d preoccupied with earlier, tail patting the feather-coated brambles, urging the other to join him. “Let’s sleep.”
thought speech
 
A slight laugh escapes him as Cal nudges him. “Alright, alright. I'm moving,” he sighs, shaking his head. “And to think I just told you that I thought you were nice. Impatient brute.”

His words have no serious bite to them, and he follows Cal drowsily. His steps aren't as coordinated as they usually are, not as nimble and quick, but slow and clumsy. Somewhere deep inside of him, he doesn't want this to end, but it has to. He made a promise, after all.

It's much warmer in the warriors den, though the chill still remains. Shiori settles beside the fawn tabby's larger form, letting out a content sigh as he shares his warmth.

“Sleep well,” he whispers, closing his eyes. And for once, he doesn't struggle, but falls asleep quickly. When he wakes up, he'll likely not remember the full details of the previous night, but he'll think of the fleeting moment fondly.​

"Speech"

SOMETIMES THAT LONELY LOVE DEFILES YOU