GO ANYWHERE I WANT, JUST NOT HOME — cinderfrost

[FINCHCATCHER]

He sneaks out after his patrol returns home, worry thick in his mind.

A familiar, fear-bringing sent, though only slight - faint, as if it'd been a few days since its return - had caught his attention on their way back to camp. She'd been here. She'd been near where she wasn't meant to.

The tom retraces his steps, a need to investigate building within him. The ex-medic couldn't be here. Couldn't loom near ThunderClan, near its camp. An exile shouldn't still be lurking, shouldn't still be waiting to strike. A problem. This was a problem waiting to happen.

He should report this, should tell Howling Wind and Emberstar. They would know what to do. Finchcatcher merely fears for their life. Fears for his life. Fears for ThunderClan.

Finchcatcher finds it. Finds the scent of the blue molly, only the slightest bit fainter than what it was when he found it. Disappearing, he hopes. Covered by his own scent. He pauses, thinks about just what it is he's doing, this march to his potential demise. No, ThunderClan needs to be safe, whether it's at his expense or not.

So, he follows. Follows the scent as it gets stronger and stronger, claws unsheathed as yellow-green eyes stay alert, as he prepares himself for other signs of her presence - prepares to fall right into her trap.

Stars, he hopes he makes it out alive.
​

 

[salamander]

Sullen, sunken eyes dimly shined in the light. Tail curled around her injured forepaws, she managed to sit tall despite the exhaustion and pain. She hasn't stepped paw in ThunderClan since that day when the hypocrite demanded her be punished.

That being said, she remained in nearby loner lands. A dangerous posturing, perhaps, but the molly found it difficult to traverse far from ThunderClan. Abruptly, they were left without a healer because of her reckless actions. She needed to be around to (selfishly) ensure the clan's safety. An action caused by guilt but also something deeper.

She hadn't been expecting her brother's murderer to openly seek her out. Had he come to taunt her? He was like a bur that couldn't be removed or an irritating gnat that couldn't properly be disposed of.

Ribs prodding from her sides, she protectively shielded her belly by crouching low to the ground. She was weak and in no condition to fight.

"Why? Why did you take him from us? Why use lethal methods against one so young?" Though her voice didn't tremble, it was incredibly hushed. When he followed her to ThunderClan, she'd been enraged. Emberstar's acceptance had only fueled the fire. But it made sense that the accomplice of one child murderer would support another.

"He was only six moons old. He should be here, by his brother's side. Unlike you, he'll never receive his warrior name. So, why?" The ice in her words began to melt into desperation. "And why ThunderClan? After so many moons had passed since the clans formed? You hid behind Emberstar and joined her ranks. Despite knowing I was there, despite seeing me, you still stayed. You took my family and then came after my- the clan I resided in. Why?"

Her voice didn't raise above a murmur. She was too weak to argue, too mentally exhausted to burn with her previous fury. Instead, she was broken: thoroughly and completely shattered. He achieved his goals and won the mental warfare he silently waged on her.​

 

[FINCHCATCHER]

A voice scares him, and he spins around quickly to meet its owner. Claws outstretched, ready to strike, but are met with a Cinderfrost all too broken - too weak - to fight. An unfair win for Finchcatcher, if he were to strike. The ThunderClan warrior settles his paws, sheathes his claws.

A fight will not happen. Not today.

"Well," he starts, "Don't you look awful?" Truth carries itself in his teasing tone, as yellow-green eyes flicker over the former medic's form. Noticeable ribs, noticeable weakness. Noticeable... No.. She couldn't possibly be...?

Instead of a confrontation of claws, a confrontation of words is placed before him. One that he'd tried so hard to avoid - only to fail, time and time again, to run into Cinderfrost when he'd so desperately tried to run from what he'd done.

Why? Why had he done it?

A question that will forever stick with him, wherever he goes.

"My brother," he finally says, voice breaking at the thought of his brother. He hadn't seen him since the ceremony before he'd left - the one that named him Finchcatcher, named his brother Cosmospaw. Stars, let him be okay. "The... The little white kit with them. With... With the funny-looking ears. That was my brother." Is, he tells himself. Despite their broken relationship, Cosmospaw is still his brother. The only family he had left. Cosmospaw is still alive, unlike Toad.

"I told him, that day, to stay in camp. He... He was only a kit. He shouldn't have been there. And yet, he followed. Hid in the bushes. Your... Nephews... I thought they were going to hurt him. I just wanted to protect him. I was told to protect him. I just... I didn't know...."

He didn't know the strength of his own claws, had hardly fought before that moment. The rush of the battle, the chance to prove himself, the fear of losing Cosmospaw - it had blinded him. He didn't know the trio had snuck out of their homes prior to the battle, had become friends.

"He was too young. They were all too young -" a pause, followed by a shaky breath "- I was too young." Because, with everything that happened, he had only just been a kid too.
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[salamander]

"Well, don't you like awful." Bitter ice shards darted in his direction; a bone-chilling glare aimed directly at the younger cat. Fangs snapped at the crisp air but she remained still. Cold irritation hid away the self-conscious nerve the tom struck.

Prominent scars, deep burns, thinning fur, and prodding ribs. It had been a thought she'd been slowly becoming obsessed with. Yes, she knew she wasn't attractive. Ever since she found out she was pregnant, she was keenly self-aware of her disheveled appearance. No one wanted her. No one ever would. Her mind drifted to Sunnyday. No, not even him.

Pent up grief payed a heavy toll. Being denied the opportunity to journey Leaping Toad and Ash had caused her to slowly detoriate - both physically and mentally. The marsh cats snapped at her sadness, the stars interrupted her recovery, and ThunderClan...

"Thank you. You'd look terribly stiff, buried beneath the ground, if Ribbit signed your death warrant." And it was the truth. She didn't blink nor waver. It wasn't just Ribbit, though. Ash's words remained thoroughly etched into her brain. "I take it you haven't seen your face recently." she cooly retorted. However, a sigh exposed the tenderness and fear she thought she dispatched.

Little white kit.. with the funny looking ears. Her brown furrowed. Funny looking ears. Why did that description sound so familiar. "The kittypet?" she asked quietly before correcting herself, "The former kittypet." She recalled Leaping Toad and Frog's Ribbit returning from outside of the marshes, a questionable scent clinging to their coats.

Realization sparked a deep sorrow. The Great Battle forced friends - itty bitty, young friends - to face one another in battle. "Ribbit, bless his heart, must have seen Cosmos and approached him out of worry." She wanted to ask if his claws were sheathed; if either of the siblings expressed a visible threat. "They said they made a friend." She wasn't trying to envoke further guilt. Rather, she was connecting the dots and trying to understand.

"Yes, you were all too young. Briar called even our youth to war. A pointless war that could have been avoided." she sighed. The grim truth was finally revealed. "I-" An apology latched onto her tongue. Before she could truly apologize for forgetting how young he was, for blaming her nephew's death on him.. she needed to know.

"But why ThunderClan?" her voice cracked as she desperately searched his face for an answer. "You just have known I was their medicine cat from previous gatherings." She needed to know he hadn't purposely tried to further break her sanity.
​

 

[FINCHCATCHER]

"I'm well aware of what I look like, thank you," Finchcatcher shoots back. He's well aware of his own unkempt appearance, fur he once made an effort to keep flat. The long, deep scars that have been present against his neck and shoulders since before the Great Battle, of the smaller ones on his face from the feline before him, of the burns on his front leg, the slight limp he'll likely carry with him to the stars. "Some of these are from you, you know."

Their conversation is far from over. The confrontation had only just begun, and Finchcatcher fears his story is a long one.

"Don't call him that," he snaps, as Cinderfrost calls Cosmospaw a kittypet. "He may live with kittypets, but he never was one. I never was one. Don't ever call him that." He tenses as he hears his brother's name - a detail he had left out, hadn't thought she'd known. A new name is spoken along with it: Ribbit. Toad's brother, it must be. They must have told her such a detail. They made a friend, she says. A detail he'd had to pry out of Cosmos after everything had happened.

A question still is yet to be answered. He just, doesn't know where to start. From the very beginning, he supposes. He settles down beside her, shifts the weight off of his paw.

"Before the two of us arrived here, me and Cosmos used to live in this... old barn. Our whole family lived there. One day, a storm struck our home just right and..." Images of flames roll through his mind, mix into more recent images of his current home in flames. "Pa knew he wasn't gonna make it. Told me, 'Finch, keep Cosmos safe.' Made me promise to do so. We ended up in the forest. Rain took us in. I kept my promise the best I could." Clearly, his best wasn't enough.

"A moon later, I'm hunting with Ember, and... Blinding Star, and Red. I'd caught a mouse for Cosmos, but... the marsh group had arrived. I just wanted to feed my brother. Someone from the other side didn't like that I caught that mouse." He glances down at those first scars to mar his fur before continuing on. "Ember taught me how to fight, after that. Simple defense moves."

"After the Great Battle, Cosmos didn't want to talk to me. Rightfully so. I failed him. I know that. Then, Blazestar changed our names and, when he gave me mine..." Finchcatcher stops, takes a shaky breath, "I didn't think of the 'great hunting skills' he named me for, only what I'd... What I'd caught during the battle. I felt horrible. Cosmospaw hated me, I had this... this stupid name. I couldn't sleep. So I... I left." All this to answer one question: why ThunderClan?

"I hadn't gone to a gathering since that very first one. The one that made the clans." he informs her, yellow-green gaze looking over at the blue she-cat, "ThunderClan was nearest. Emberstar was here. That's all I knew. Cinderfrost, I had no idea I'd run into you."
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