Cats enter and exit camp all the time, the gorse tunnel serving as a veritable source of hustle and bustle, and by now Luckypaw should know to tune it out, to keep still and steady when some new set of paws pushes through, but he just can't help himself - the movement draws his attention, and the memory of a patrol returning unexpectedly bloody drives his thoughts. Lately, he hasn't even spent all that much time in camp, spending some extra time in the tunnels as he works to improve upon his mental map, but it's not something he can avoid entirely, and nor would he want to, even if it's much hotter out here in the open. His task now is to clean out the fresh-kill pile, sorting out the prey and doing away with anything too old to eat, and his vantage point is clear as Weaselclaw comes sauntering into camp, followed closely by Hollypaw. It's been some time since he's spent any meaningful time with the other apprentice - probably not since they were kits, and even then, they'd never been particularly close. Still, it's not as though they're unfriendly with one another, though as he moves to offer a wave of his tail in greeting, Luckypaw notices the apparent source of the duo's satisfaction weighing heavily in Hollypaw's jaws, and he falls still.
Had she...? No, clearly she had caught it - there's no question in those glittering eyes, in the way the rabbit is held aloft or in the way Weaselclaw so proudly leads. He knows this is different, knows that Hollypaw is Hollypaw and Scorchpaw isn't there, and yet he still sees sun-kissed moors, flame-kissed fur, a kill the fraction of the size-
Not the same, he has to remind himself. Not the same. This is Hollypaw's catch (and is it her first, he wonders?), and there's no reason for the sting of jealousy he can already feel welling up. It's not her fault that she's brought back such an impressive piece of prey and he - well, he hasn't. Hasn't brought back anything, to be precise, not yet. Sure, Hollypaw's older than him, has been training longer, but not by much, really; besides, Scorchpaw had already caught a mouse, and she's obviously been training just as long as he has. For far from the first time, he feels...well, he feels a little envious, of course, but he also feels a distinct lacking, as though there's something here he's missing. Scorchpaw, Hollypaw - what have they been doing that he hasn't? Where is he going wrong? Luckypaw works hard, he really does, but evidently it's not enough, as once again he's left in the dust, trying to sort himself out without any success. It's frustrating to no end, but even more than that is the sinking, the flip down in his stomach at the thought of falling so far behind so quickly.
Belatedly, he realizes he's been staring for too long - staring at the rabbit, and not even offering Hollypaw more than a spare glance. It's as though he's just waking, stretching the slumber out of his limbs, and he finally offers that wave of greeting, even in the wake of his hesitance. Nothing's changed, really, not in such a brief moment, but at least doing something gives him a focus, something to think of other than his own negative feelings. "Hey! Did you - I mean, you caught that yourself, didn't you?" More of a greeting than he would have given had she not arrived with such an accomplishment in tow, and even as he feels out the words they seem to take hold. "That thing's huge - I bet I couldn't have even carried that all the way back, if it were mine," he adds, ignoring the sharp sting in his heart even as he speaks. There's nothing to be done about it now, no way to go back and undo something that hasn't even taken place, and so Luckypaw will simply try to summon forth the part of him that truly is happy to see what Hollypaw's managed to accomplish, carefully banishing any thoughts of moonlit escapades and failed hunts.
[ PENNED BY HIJINKS ]
