private GOTTA GET HOME BEFORE THE MORNING COMES | hazecloud

[salmonshade]

She returns to the camp from a hunt, exhausted from the sun beaming down on her fur, exhausted from how warm the water had been that day. A headache pulses at her temples, but she had returned victorious with a decent sized fish.

There are cats all around, sharing tongues or chatting, but she does not spot Snakeblink, Moonpaw, nor Lichentail amongst them. Busy, perhaps, she thinks with a sinking feeling. Her friends are not always free, thus is the woes of being slotted with the council; you lose much of your free-time.

Would she mind it? She had once thought that being a lead warrior, being watched by each of your clanmates was unbearable. Had her thoughts changed? Maybe it comes with the new reign Smokestar brought forth... Or maybe, it changes like the tides.

Stars, she needs to get rid of the fish.

The scales in her mouth rub her teeth uncomfortably, her fur feels too heavy, she's uncomfortable, but she heads towards the nursery. She's not sure why. She's not sure why she lets her paws guide her, but they've never gotten her in trouble before. In bad situations, yes... But never in danger. The tall molly stands at the entrance, ignoring how her neck has begun to ache.

The first queen she spots is Hazecloud, billowing gray fur, and the kits snuggled in the nest seem to be comfortably tucked in and sleeping. Hazecloud looks... She's not sure. Blue eyes search green, that flit up to look at the shadow blocking the entrance. She adverts her gaze, heat rising to her cheeks. She hadn't meant to stare... Now she looks weird, oh, Stars- she can't imagine how weird she did look, fish in mouth, just standing there and blankly staring, cascaded by the shadowy backdrop from the sun.

Her paws carry her over, because its only nice to explain herself after being caught.

"Figured that... I'd check on the queens. See if you all got meals today... Freshly caught," was it a lie? Was it the truth, the truth to why she visited? Salmon doesn't even know herself, shes not even sure why she went to the nursery instead of dropping her catch off and grabbing Riverpaw to go back out. She's felt off since she had been given the apprentice and it's driving her nuts, the fact that she cannot pinpoint the cause of her sudden anxiety. Her eyes slide down again to the kittens. An awkward conversation starter blooms within her mind. "How have they been doing...?" she murmurs, keeping her voice down as to not wake the sleeping ones. She hadn't expected herself to care, but it was hard not to after she had spent the day trying to help the queen in front of her wrangle her kits. They look healthy, at least...

₊˚.༄ info

• @hazecloud
• 
  ❥ salmon ,, salmonshade
  ❥ cis female ,, she/her ,, 37 months
  ❥ warrior of riverclan ,, mentoring riverpaw
  ❥ fluffy & dainty chocolate tortie smoke with white, blue eyes
  ❥ "speech, ff91a4" ,, thoughts
  ❥ lesbian ,, single
  ❥ smells like warm flowers & freshly cut grass
  ❥ chibi by pin ,, penned by chuff

​

 

[hazecloud]

With the burst of kittens coming through the nursery, Hazecloud had quickly begun to feel that she and Lichentail had in fact made the perfect in their lack of thinking. The nursery had been vacant from any other queens like herself, and it was so peaceful during the snow-studded moons as she took care of her kittens.

Now there were so many that the molly was struggling to keep up. She had thought six little kits by herself was hard enough, but now it was all too overwhelming. So much so that she was far more willing to stretch her legs out in the meadows now, unlike before where she was rigid in remaining in camp as much as possible.

She's managed to coax her kittens into her nest for their nap, which wasn't so much of a hassle as it may have been. Hazecloud noticed how the increase of denmates had worn them out faster, too. All those hours of playing and wrestling around tired them out just in time for their nap, and perhaps she should look to that as her silver lining.

In her silent admiration of little sleeping bodies a figure appeared at the entrance and the scent of fish, which obscured her from figuring out it was Salmonshade until the warrior spoke. Soft features lifted as a smile creased her maw.

"Most of us, I normally wait until Lichentail comes home. She lets the kittens grade her work before we eat." Hazecloud slowly shifted to sit up from the nest and not disturb them. It doesn't appear like much could make them rise, as they unceremoniously adjust to her absence and kick their legs out, but remain asleep.

"They're doing just fine. Making lots of friends, thankfully. I was worried they would struggle when Smokestars kin left but they adjust a lot easier than I expected." Shellkit was still in Moonpaws den, unfortunately, but she had hope the little kit would get back on her paws and join her brothers soon.

"Sometimes I worry this is all I'll be. It feels selfish, but, I don't know what's going to change when I go back to the warriors den." She knew how quickly a moon could pass, and in only a few would she return to Lichentail's side. "I don't want to just be the deputy's mate. Or just their mother, you know? I was one of RiverClans best hunters. I was the best at staying quiet, being stealthy. I survived a journey that threw me into places I've never been to before. With cats I had never met." And quickly that selfishness shed its shell, transforming into that of guilt and sat heavy in her chest. ​

 

[salmonshade]

"Thats... sweet?" her voice comes out more like a question than a statement, carefully treading around the fact that Haze waits until Lichentail returns. It's odd, but her eyes trail Haze as the gray she-cat sits upwards in such a gentle manner. The kits don't rise. Salmon supposes thats a good thing.

"Riverpaw is doing good, that I can tell you." Salmonshade preens, just incase Hazecloud wonders about the boy that had been raised with them. "I'm glad... that they're adjusting, at least. With all the new queens, I doubt they will lack friends, after all..." kittens have always been too friendly, too on the nose, everyone is a friend when you're young. It's only when you push in to the apprentice-aged moons do you realize you can't always consider that.

And then a bomb is dropped upon her and she hesitates, blinking once, twice... She's kind of left dumbfounded, mouth opening, closing as she tries to find the right words.

Salmon finally frowns as she finds something to say. "I don't think you're just Lichentail's mate..." an ear swivels backwards as she grapples for the right thing to say. "You're your own cat," Stars, she has no good advice, no good words for a situation like this. Stress prickles at the back of her neck like looming claws. "You... Like you said... Went on a journey, helped save all the Clans when all you had was an obligation for Riverclan..." is this what shes getting at? That she feels all will be disregarded now that she was a mother? Salmon could not relate... She was a mentor, a newly found friend, never a mother, never a lover, never will be, not at all... This whole conversation feels as if she had misstepped in to something she shouldn't have.

... Salmon falls silent for a few heartbears, letting the seconds tick by before she speaks again, "You'll always be a mate, always be a mother... But its just... Extra titles, now..." Right? Oh, maybe thats the wrong thing to say... She's quick to tack on, "It's not all that you will be." she bites her tongue, literally, a hissing sound emitting from her as she sharply inhales between her fangs. She's never been the best at comforting and it's stressful, she can feel it in her shoulders, in her head, in her neck.

𝙼𝙰𝚈𝙱𝙴 𝙸𝚃𝚂 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝚂𝙸𝙻𝙴𝙽𝙲𝙴 ଳ⋆｡˚ 𝙼𝙰𝚈𝙱𝙴 𝙸𝚃𝚂 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝚆𝙰𝚁

• 
  ❥ salmon ,, salmonshade
  ❥ cis female ,, she/her ,, 38 months
  ❥ warrior of riverclan ,, mentoring riverpaw
  ❥ fluffy & dainty chocolate tortie smoke with white, blue eyes
  ❥ "speech, fd9367" ,, thoughts
  ❥ lesbian ,, single
  ❥ smells like warm flowers & freshly cut grass
  ❥ chibi by pin ,, penned by chuff

​

 

[hazecloud]

Salmonshade's word's are more wary, and a small laugh is drawn from the queen. It's unusual for sure, considering she is supposed to be lined up as the first to eat. But it's become such a habit now she doesn't think much of it anymore. She leaned in just a smidge closer to the smokey molly, her voice hushed to be unheard by the other queens.

"We were worried they might become drypaws." Hazecloud paused to glance around, just to be sure. When not a single head is risen or slanted gaze sent their way her voice returned to its normal pitch. "Getting them excited about prey, preparing them to see all kind of ways to catch it, I think it's made a big difference on their approach to the water. Now they can't get enough time in the day, playing and dunking themselves under."

It amused her how easily they took to it all. How much they took after their home, naturalborn RiverClanners as they had hoped.

She has found the spot beside Salmonshade to be comfortable, so she remained there. The report of Riverpaw's success is reassuring, knowing her oldest boys are no different to the change than their other siblings. A slow nod affirmed her approval, truly she expected to hear no less. She might not have had a stern pattern of rearing them but they were all well aware that their responsibilities weighed a tad heavier than some. Being born outside of RiverClan, Smokestar's kin, raised and welcomed into the deputy's family. They had an unspoken promise to their capabilities.

Salmonshade consolation was not entirely fruitless as she may have thought. It was uncommon for the molly to share anything that wasn't about her kits, or her mate, making her words all more sensible of her concerns. But the warrior is an outsider to it all, even the nursery chaos is a beast Salmonshade has no experience with and it's that very reason Hazecloud felt comfortable in her confession. Someone untouched by the troubles of parenthood, of mateship, would have something she hadn't heard before. Or at least in recent time.

"We will..." A sappy, sweet-rotten warmth made her smile. She would always be mates with Lichentail, of course. She should be more proud of it, that it would never change. To be the mother to their kittens.

Extra titles. Salmonshade said, and Hazecloud nodded in agreement. Her head snapped up from the patch of reeds she was staring into as her friend (could they call themselves that, now?) let out a hiss and she nudged her shoulder gently. "Sorry if I made that awkward. It's just hard sometimes. I don't have a lot of cats to talk to that are in much of a different situation than I am... I hope I didn't scare you off from coming by the nursery more often!" She teased but it's true, she enjoyed the smoke's company far more than she expected.

"While they're asleep, why don't we share this? I don't think Lichentail will mind I have an extra meal, anyway." Now that she was up the ferns were starting to feel stuffy, she had no doubt the warrior wanted to peel out as well.​

 

[salmonshade]

She tilts her head upwards as a smile grows across Hazeclouds lips. It's sweet... She'd think. It's sweet. She's never experienced the love that Hazecloud and Lichentail shared, so she thinks its sweet that Hazecloud is sure that they'd always be mates.

I hope I didn't scare you off, "No." the words come out blunter than she intends and thus she reiterates in a... somewhat more gentle tone, "No, you didn't... I get it..." she struggles to reassure her, takes a step forwards, then backwards. She's never been touchy, nor the type to comfort in a physical manner. The only cat that she had physical contact with (outside of the comforting lick on the head she gave Moonpaw, and every so often adjusting Riverpaws hunting crouch)... She feels guilty, but she does not wish to repeat the situation with Lichentail all over again. It was... nice... Does she yearn to step forwards? Does she want to? Does it even matter? Should she offer to be someone Hazecloud could talk to? Would that be weird? But Hazecloud follows everything up with a nudge to her shoulder and all thoughts cease.

When her mind starts up, it gets loud. Her face heats up, she inwardly searches for an escape. She has to get out, she needs... To go... But she replays the nudge over and over in her head, why is she thinking so much about it? Are they friends? Can Salmon call her a friend? Why is her face so hot? Why am I panicking? Why does this happen every single time another cat does something so little?

Despite the fact that she begins to mentally become undone, she speaks almost instantly. "Of course," she agrees with Hazecloud's proposal to share the meal she had brought. I want to scream. "Tell Lichen its my fault, if its brought up..." she's doubtful the deputy would be upset with the cat they love, but she offers an out just incase. Lichentail wouldn't get upset over that... She thinks, at least. Would she? "Perhaps we can," get away, get away, get away, go get away and go think before speaking every fiber in her body screams, because her face is too hot, and she's overthinking, and she can't even put coherent thoughts together, and she's never been a good friend, shes never been a good listener- "Go on a walk, after... You can stretch your legs, being cooped up for so long..." oh, or perhaps it was Lichentails duty to take Hazecloud on walks? Run, run, despite the fear that settles in her stomach, her body acts by itself: a small smile graces her lips. I'm going to die. It's dramatic thinking, as her heart beats way too fast.

Stay, does her heart scream. Run, does the mind scream. Salmon sits in place.

𝙼𝙰𝚈𝙱𝙴 𝙸𝚃𝚂 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝚂𝙸𝙻𝙴𝙽𝙲𝙴 ଳ⋆｡˚ 𝙼𝙰𝚈𝙱𝙴 𝙸𝚃𝚂 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝚆𝙰𝚁

• 
  ❥ salmon ,, salmonshade
  ❥ cis female ,, she/her ,, 38 months
  ❥ warrior of riverclan ,, mentoring riverpaw
  ❥ fluffy & dainty chocolate tortie smoke with white, blue eyes
  ❥ "speech, fd9367" ,, thoughts
  ❥ lesbian ,, single
  ❥ smells like warm flowers & freshly cut grass
  ❥ chibi by pin ,, penned by chuff

​

 

[hazecloud]

Salmonshade's uncertainty in the mere direction of where she should move her paws brought back a fond time of when she and Lichentail were younger. Tenderfooted to the trails of the marshes, of adulthood, truly. Topics such as these are of the sort Salmonshade may not have ever wrangled with before, and the queen was content in releasing her grip from the warriors attention to ease her stress. For now, after all she had confirmed she wouldn't be a stranger to the nursery.

Hazecloud couldn't help but wonder what was going on in her thoughts. Between awkward pauses and stumbled words, what was in her head that kept typing her tongue? It's cute. She thought. Cute in the way Lichentail clammed up whenever she had taken her paw in her own or nuzzled her cheek when they were first together. Or similar to the feeling she got when watching Shellkit try to talk to the younger kittens for the first time.

"Oh no, no need. She wouldn't, aren't you two friends anyway?" At least Hazecloud assumed as much. There was little that escaped her notice, especially with her own mate. Even if that wasn't the truth it was hardly likely Lichentail would be miffed about something so small as one meal out of the many they had shared since she stepped paw in the nursery.

Salmonshade's offer extending past that however, made her laugh. "I don't know about that. I wouldn't want to place the kittens on the other queens with such short notice. But we can plan for a better time for that." Hazecloud took the initiative to move out of the nursery with the fish between her jaws and led Salmonshade somewhere nicer, sunnier where the breeze wasn't so strong off the islands shallows. "This spot should do well. Did you catch this off ThunderClan's border? I noticed the bigger fish spawn there earlier."

A keen eye for fish, but especially perch, led Hazecloud to her calculations. Also leading to the harder prey to catch, as they often had more strength to wriggle out of one's claws.​