private GUESS FOR NOW, ONLY HEAVEN KNOWS \ hyacinthbreath

[POLLENFUR]

A gaunt feline shape slips between amber-lit shadows. The Twolegplace falls into obscurity behind her as the earth transitions from rough concrete to wetland. Mud squelches between delicate toes, and she grimaces at the sensation. Her instincts are screaming at her to run, run far, and she has to clench her jaw to ignore them. The scent of Twolegs is strong here, the woodsmoke from their contained fires still fading into the sky in delicate spirals. Worse still, the scent of the water-dwelling Clan's recently-marked border nearly sends her running; her nostrils flare at the unfamiliar tang, an unspoken threat to outsiders.

I mean no harm. I'm an old friend of Hyacinthbreath's. I've only come to... The mantra in her mind stops short. She has not come to join RiverClan, by any means. The very thought causes her to recoil. She wants nothing to do with any of these cursed Clans. Pollenfur wants only to see her old friend again, sink her nose into striped blue fur and inhale what her memories have begun to lose.

The chocolate tortoiseshell does her best to hide within the clumps of reeds surrounding the border. She has no idea if Hyacinthbreath is the one who will find her, and she is prepared to run, ears angling for any indication of approaching warriors. Pollenfur will not fight them, if she can avoid it. She will flee back to her loneliness before she will let these Clans spill her blood.

// @hyacinthbreath​

[ PENNED BY MARQUETTE ]​

​

 

[hyacinthbreath]

The last time there was the scent of Loner on the border, she'd had to help chase them off without a word- and she did, chasing Yewberry away from the border while reminding him of her loyalties. She was no WindClanner anymore, no longer apart of the moors. She was no tunneler, she was a river-dweller now. Though as she arrives upon the border, the sight of Pollenfur nervously standing there makes her pace grow faster. She makes a point to turn her head to the side where the jawline scars aren't so prominent, scared of her friend's opinion on her. What if she thought she was ugly, now? She blinks sadly. "Pollen, you're okay." She meows in greeting, a sigh of relief escaping her lips as she trudges through the river water to meet her. Once she reaches the other side, Hyacinthbreath leans her head in and gently bumps it against Pollenfur's own, a soft chirp of happiness leaving her.

Part of her wishes that she would give in and join RiverClan, where they could begin something together- is that what she wanted? Something with Pollenfur, where they share the same nest and begin life together? Would that make her feel better, in this strange group? Hyacinthbreath could worry less about people's opinions, and worry more about how Pollenfur would settle in. Nonetheless, she respects her friend's decision to stay as a Loner. Away from the Clans, away from the never-ending cycle of death.

"..I've been thinking a lot about you." She admits sheepishly, normally stoic face twisted into something more stubbornly bashful. "Wishing you were with me more often."​

❝ there are wounds inside me, gaping holes of disconnect.
can you drown inside your own body? can you suffocate within this mind? ❞

 

[POLLENFUR]

There are pawsteps on the wind. Pollenfur's ears flatten, fear scent rising from her body like a telltale miasma. She crouches, white belly caressing the ground, waiting for the RiverClanner who is to find her and persecute her for her crimes.

A silvery face greets her from split reeds. Crystalline blue eyes, shiny and hard from years of collected pain, meet Pollenfur's eyes. Relief washes over her; she rises to her paws, tail twitching in nervous excitement. Hyacinthbreath's scent is so different now, so intertwined with moss and river water, that she still struggles to recognize it. And her fur drips from her trek -- Pollenfur is amazed at how different her beloved friend is now.

"Pollen, you're okay." The earthen-toned tortoiseshell tilts her head up, just slightly, to look into Hyacinthbreath's eyes. There are new scars, tender ones, freshly scabbed. Pollenfur lifts a paw and touches the scarred side of Hyacinthbreath's jaw with feathery softness. "You've been hurt." Though her eyes are soft, her voice is grim. "Who? What has happened?"

She sighs, taken by the sight of her long-lost friend lit with starlight. "You're still beautiful, but I worry for you here," she murmurs, her eyes flashing with reproach, with memory. "Does this Clan treat you well? Do they... are you safe here, Hyacinthbreath?" Are any cats safe anywhere? She certainly isn't, but she's not a Clan cat, not at heart.

"I've been thinking a lot about you. Wishing you were with me more often." Warmth spreads from her paws to her chest. Pollenfur's worried amber gaze softens again. "I miss you more than I can say," she confesses in a husky voice. "There are times I awake in the middle of the night and my heart cries because you aren't beside me."

Yes, it cries for Brightshine and Emberfang, for Mallowlark and Echolight, for her lost mother and dead father, for Echolight's kits she does not know, for Honeytwist, but they are all lost to her now. Hyacinthbreath is the only tangible thing she has now. She's the only thing that's real.

Pollenfur hesitantly pushes her nose into the tabby warrior's fur. The strange additions aside, her base scent is still sweetly familiar. "I'm so sorry for the way things have turned out." And she is. The gods know, surely, how sorry she is.​

[ PENNED BY MARQUETTE ]​

​

 

[hyacinthbreath]

A gentle paw cups her cheek, sending shivers down the femme's spine. She's thankful for the molly in this moment, helping her to keep herself pulled together and stable in the face of her own fear. She doesn't recoil back in disgust, nor does she avoid her gaze; instead, she meets her eyes and touches her with such gentle care that Hyacinthbreath feels her breath quake with emotion. Who? What has happened? "Juniperfrost and I, we fought at the border. I.. I killed him, Pollenfur. I killed- killed him. Murdered him-" She can feel her breathing grow ragged for a moment as she feels herself tunnel into the burrow of emotions she's so prone to. Though a quick breath, steadying and sobering, clears her brain of the fog that threatens to loom overhead. "It started a war with WindClan, they wanted vengeance- I.." She hiccups, head drooping in shame. She leans into Pollenfur's paw, a soft hum leaving her lips. "Because of me, someone's mate died. Because of me, we lost a capable Warrior because I couldn't keep my emotions in check- Juniperfrost, he fucking- threatened Periwinklepaw. I couldn't just let him.. Go.."

She waits for an answer, for Pollenfur to step away and call her a monster- because in her eyes, that's what she was. She didn't deserve this sympathy, this adoration. You're still beautiful, but I worry for you here. She says, and Hyacinthbreath musters herself to stand tall enough to brush her nose against Pollenfur's own. Does this Clan treat you well? Do they... are you safe here, Hyacinthbreath? "The road to acceptance will be long, especially after the battle with WindClan that I caused. I'm safe, for as long as I can prove my usefulness to them. Soon, my loyalty will be seen." Her tail curls around her leg. "So I hope." She contemplates the idea that they might just welcome her as one of them, but she knew after Clearsight's death that she wouldn't be accepted as easily. Poor Gillsight, cursed with the memory of seeing his mentor's dead form laid upon the ground- over a fight that could have been prevented if she hadn't snapped. Would she never find peace in her own mind, quiet in the face of turmoil?

She misses her. Hyacinthbreath realizes that she too, misses the chocolate tortoiseshell more than anything. She hadn't felt this way since.. Since Lavenderstorm. The warmth in her chest spreads to her face, thankful that the blush couldn't be seen on blue tabby cheeks. You love her, The voice whispers, and Hyacinthbreath can't find it in herself to deny such words for once. For once, she finds herself agreeing with the voice. I do. She responds in kind, though Pollenfur's softened expression makes her melt in place. Oh, she couldn't help but to stare so lovingly towards her. A nose presses into her fur, and Hyacinth sighs a breath of relief. Her arm raises, paw smoothing back long, stray fur from the molly's face. Then, as if testing the limits of their comfort, Hyacinthbreath hesitates before gently pressing her nose to Pollenfur's. "Never apologize. Fate has kept us together, ja?" She hums, the sweet aroma of Pollenfur's scent dizzying. "I'd like.. I'd like to think we belong together, in a way." She mews, eyes lowering to the ground in embarassment. "Pollenfur, I.. I'm in love with you."​

❝ there are wounds inside me, gaping holes of disconnect.
can you drown inside your own body? can you suffocate within this mind? ❞

 

[POLLENFUR]

Oh, the tale Hyacinthbreath tells is harrowing. She remembers the tom she speaks of, gray-pelted with eyes like leafbare, biting icy tongue. A warrior of Sootstar's if ever there were one. She is quiet, imagining Hyacinthbreath's claws tearing across his flesh, leaving him for dead. "He threatened Periwinklepaw." The earthen-toned tortoiseshell has no kits, but if a WindClan cat were to make threats toward Mallowlark, toward Echolight, who are like her own -- would she have the strength to murder them?

She does not think so, but Hyacinthbreath is a different cat. A vengeful cat, a cat who carries her darkness and lets it lash out for her. Pollenfur looks into her eyes, and though there is sadness in her expression, there is no judgment. "WindClan would have started a war with your new Clan regardless. Sootstar has always wanted to find a way to own everything in this forest." She pauses, clear amber gaze falling to her white paws. "But I'm glad to hear you are safe here."

Safe, as safe as any cat can be living in the wild. Pollenfur lifts her face as Hyacinthbreath tells her, "Never apologize. Fate has kept us together." She smiles, because she does believe in fate, and she does believe that them finding each other again, like this, is no coincidence. "Perhaps it's written in the stars," she murmurs. "Lavenderstorm and Honeytwist both have taught us much. Perhaps it's in this state we are ready for love again."

With that, she lets Hyacinthbreath's nose touch her own, and then she moves to press her muzzle against the other she-cat's scarred one. "I love you, too." A splash of warmth makes its way over her pelt. She even allows herself a low, quiet purr.​

[ PENNED BY MARQUETTE ]​

​