sensitive topics hallelujah | oneshot

[Coyotecrest]

I won't apologize for being who I am

Cream colored paws carried the boy forward, dragging him to some unknown destination outside of camp. With pastel eyes of green still watery from his prior conversation with Leopardcloud he glares at the ground covered in vibrant leaf litter. "I am dying, little Coyote" The spotted molly's voice rings again, chiming as an ever constant reminder of the inevitable. The boy's lip quivers, his jaw tightening at the whispered memory plaguing his mind as he grinds to a slow halt. It was much too soon, to was too unfair. Why did he have to lose one of the very few family members he had left. Let alone one of the few that genuinely loved him. More tears threaten to spill over as he turns his attention skyward, laying eyes upon the glittering stars above. Honeyed ears pinned backwards against his skull, silently regarding the great clan in the sky between hics and sniffles. He'd never been very religious, but he knew starclan did shape the future in some ways. Knowing this, he couldn't understand why powerful cats like them would allow Leopardcloud to become sick with a disease that could never be cured. What good could possibly come from her death?

"Don't take her from me..." Coyotepaw pleads, voice dripping with anguish as he slumps to the ground. Despite how hard he attempts to stifle it a sob runs breaks through the momentary silence. Powerful shoulders crumple and give way until he is now laying upon the ground, claws sinking deep into the cool earth. "Please...I'll do anything." He continues, not knowing the proper formula to prayer but hoping he will be answered all the same. He wasn't ready for her to go, to leave him comfortless against the piercing and judgmental glares of the clan. While there were a select few he could turn to it would never be the same. Coyote's head dips, resting his forehead upon his paws as he closes his eyes and whispers into the chilled night air. "You have the power to grant lives...couldn't you heal her too?" Leopardcloud told him that she'd had this sickness from her youth with no form of medicine curing the issue. If Dawnglare and other medicine cats couldn't help her then surely these celestial felines could, right?

No matter how much he speaks he is met with continuous silence, not even a rustling wind blows against his spotted pelt. A spark of anger is ignited within his chest, fueled by the grief he finds himself drowning in. Slowly he lifts his head, teary eyes narrowed against the stars above. "Why won't you say anything? Don't you care?!" Exasperation coats his tones, voice rising now as alabaster hackles lift along the nape of his neck. Didn't they care? He's drained from his cry, yet he still lifts himself halfway on weak shakey limbs, trembling with ire. "Take me instead!" He shouts as his final resort, watching the stars for some kind of sign. The tabby's chest heaves, rising and falling with staggered breaths, but like before he is met with lonely silence. "Why...? Why won't you answer me?" Coyote whispers, defeat outlining his posture. ​

Tryna throw shade on me say a lot 'bout you​

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[ThistleBack]

" They hear you, Coyotepaw. I promise you that " Thistleback’s shoulders ripple with every long step that left him adjacent to the spiritually wounded boy. His soul bleeding, a hemorrhaging of faith and hope. Roots of anger and sadness burrowed deeper than any oak.

He was feeling it recently, but in private- with the news of his eldest sister’s death. Thistleback stews in rage, frothing white at the mouth of his soul with rabid need for answers and lost time. Skyclan and Shadowclan were always on cold terms, so with his alliance came a wedge or rift with his sisters and himself. This was different though, Coyotepaw had a chance at a normal life- and now, he would have his “sister” ripped from him. Hopefully soon given the chance to know who she really was to him. Deersong and he, rest uneasy on this secret.

Seeing Coyotepaw leave the camp circle, Thistleback had instinctually kicked away his dinner and made to follow. He had kept his distance but, the angry mournful words ripped into the heavens. Thistleback himself is almost surprised they are left unanswered.

" I’d imagine it’s easier to stay silent than say no. That’s why they hardly answer. " he has no intention of whole-heartedly defending an afterlife he was sure he may never see in his soul’s existance. He respected them, and knew it to be the future home for his friends and loved ones, but his paws- were certainly too stained with sin to tarnish those grounds.

" you’re right to be angry. furious. I’d never wish to take that passion from you, Coyotepaw. I felt it too at your age… I feel it now. We can be angry together. For now… you have to be strong for Leopardcloud. Hide your anger. " he justifies the boy’s emotions, this world and unwitting life thrown upon them all- their very breath were their right to question their faiths.

" I’m not going to tell you it’s going to be alright. I’m not going to sugar coat the truth of this… but- " Thistleback presses his shoulder to the young man’s cream colored coat. " I’m here for you,… son." it’s the first time he hadn’t called the boy lad, boy, or paw. He recalls being an angry young boy at once, a stray on the streets, craving love and rejecting it simultaneously. While they were in violently different paw prints, they would walk their ways together for now. Grief was the only thing he couldn't kill.

" I’m sorry " these words hardly came from his maw. They were reserved for only two cats in his life now, Deersong and Coyotepaw. He’d turn his scowling maw to the stars, falling into a respectful silence.

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OOC INFO REF

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• — Thistleback | thirty-two moons | cis-male
  — daylight warrior of Skyclan
  — bisexual | fallen for Deersong 9.29.22
  — mentoring Coyotepaw
  — very muscular piebald black and white tom with spiky fur and cold silver-grey eyes. Wears a purple collar with brass clasp.
  
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