private hard to grasp with shaky hands [scorch jr]

Their family has been rocked, half-destroyed by what occurred. Not only had Badgermoon and Curlewnose left WindClan, they had… they had done something terrible. They attacked Sootstar—attempted to kill her, Scorchstreak assumes. The smoky-furred leader hadn’t seemed injured when she declared that the two toms had attacked, but Scorchstreak has learned that the shadows of nighttime tend to hide more than they let on. Either way, they did much more than simply curse themselves when they decided to throw themselves at Sootstar; they cursed every living kit that Scorchstreak has. All four of them, now children to a traitor. Badgermoon should have known better than to jeopardize them like this.

Scorchpaw has already drawn suspicion to herself, as though being the former deputy’s daughter and his apprentice wasn’t enough. She’d spoken out against Sootstar’s vision, against the leader’s very word, and Scorchstreak can only hope that her own position as lead warrior is enough to keep her kit from slipping into the space that Periwinklebreeze had once held. An outcast, child of a traitor who’d once held a position of power, who’d used it to turn on their leader. She cannot let Scorchpaw fall into the same trap. And so she seeks out her daughter at the first chance she gets, approaching her with only a half-formed plan in mind.

Normally, it is easy for Scorchstreak to tell when she needs to be a mother and when she needs to be a lead warrior. Gentle reassurances are best to offer comfort with, but a firm paw is needed as well when her kits get out of line. Now, though, the calico isn’t so sure of what she should be. She can understand Scorchpaw’s hesitation, her unwillingness to accept that her father and Curlewnose could do such a thing. But Scorchpaw hadn’t been there to see Dandelionwish do the same thing, turning his back on his clan—and Sootstar had received a vision then, as well.

"Scorchpaw," she greets her daughter, who comes so close to herself in appearance and yet hovers so far from her reach. In the young calico she sees Dappledsun, and she grits her teeth at the thought. She settles onto her haunches beside the apprentice, hoping to sweep her tail around Scorchpaw—but backing off if the touch isn’t welcomed. "What Sootstar said… I understand how difficult it must be to believe. Curlewnose was my best friend, and your father… well, he was your father. I wouldn’t have believed it, either, were I in your place." Even having lived through such an event before, it is hard to believe that caring, sweet Curlewnose and loyal, gentle Badgermoon would have committed such an act.

Curlewnose, who had curled beside her as she laid in the nursery preparing to bear the litter of the tom he was in love with. Curlewnose, who had remained at her side even after she’d told him the identity of her litter’s father. Curlewnose, who she felt closer to than any other cat. Curlewnose the traitor, who’d chosen Badgermoon over her. And Badgermoon, the tom with whom she has raised her kits, despite the lack of affections between them. Badgermoon, who had done his part as a father rather than leaving her entirely on her own. Badgermoon, who showed his care for the clan not only with claw and fang but with gentle support, with words of encouragement. Badgermoon, who above all else had strayed from the path of morality and fallen into the trap of ambition, of a hunger for power. Attacking Sootstar like he had—what other reason could there be?

She straightens, sighs. "But I’m not in your place. Sootstar has had warning visions before. The last was before you were born, so of course you wouldn’t know of it." Her muzzle curls into a snarl at the thought of Dandelionwish, teeth bared as though she were looking at him now. "The last time a plague struck WindClan, Sootstar had a vision about our medicine cat. A warning. She was correct; he betrayed us, and ran off to SkyClan." She straightens, a sigh rolling through her chest. "I don’t want it to be true any more than you do, but… StarClan tends to be correct when it comes to their visions."

// @SCORCHPAW
[ LIKE A RATTLESNAKE ]
 
When Scorchstreak finds her, Scorchpaw is sitting at the bank of the sun-warmed pool staring down at herself. In the reflection she has been measuring: measuring the broad width of her shoulders, studying the white tips of her ears, the things most notably Badgermoon about her. Wind whispers gently through her firebrand fur. And when Scorchstreak sits beside her, Scorchpaw notes how tall she's grown since she was a kitten. Her mother's tail wraps around her and she is wordless; she hardly spares the tunneler a glance, staring at her only through the ripples in the pool they sit at, afraid that if she does turn her eyes upon Scorchstreak in full they will only water. The only other acknowledgment of her presence is the way Scorchpaw leans feebly into her frame, her grief too heavy to carry on her own.

At first there is comfort. Scorchstreak says it is all too much to believe, and Scorchpaw perks ever so slightly, because it is too much to believe. Badgermoon and Curlewnose– they're good cats, and she knows this to be true. Doesn't she? Her father loves these moors so much, she could never imagine him parting with them; could never imagine him jeopardizing his place among the golden grass just for the sake of ruling them. And Curlewnose, sweet and mild, her mother's best friend and the apple of her father's eye – he wouldn't join the scheme just to become Badgermoon's consort. But every cat is quick to tell her she is wrong. Badgermoon and Curlewnose did feel so strongly about power that they were willing to kill Sootstar over it. This is the story she is told, the story that harrows her, the story her mother repeats to her now.

She watches Scorchstreak's face contort in the pale water. Her muzzle twists, a whirlpool in the center of her face, pulling Scorchpaw's gaze into that anger; that grief. And when her mother speaks, she finds that they do not see things similarly after all. To her, it is the same old story: StarClan's chosen traitors running off to SkyClan. To Scorchpaw, it is an inconceivable truth, one that she still has trouble wrapping her head around. "But why?" she whines, as if her mother has the answer. Her lip trembles as she bites back a sob. Badgermoon and Curlewnose aren't traitors. Are they?

Scorchpaw presses her nose into her mother's flank, ears flicking backwards. "I just don't understand...."

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    scorchkit . scorchpaw
    — she/they ; apprentice of windclanclan
    — short-haired tortoiseshell she-cat with low white and orange/yellow eyes
    — "speech" ; thoughts
    — penned by meghan
    — chibi by giinya, ref & profile art by me