Heartbeat | Snowpaw

ROEFLAME .

ROEFLAME .

V I R A G O
Around the World '24 ThunderClan 1K ThunderClan 10K Boar Migration [TC '23] Wolves [TC ’24] Winter Prompts [TC ‘23] ThunderClan Lead Warrior Yellowcough [Sitewide Event '23] Sunningrocks [TC '23] Spring Prompts [TC '23]
Jul 27, 2022
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I TOLD YOU ONCE, I CAN'T DO THIS AGAIN​
It had taken Roepaw everything she had to not bolt out of the camps entrance that morning when she had been assigned to the border patrol, her first patrol since her dislocation- and it was to Skyclan of all places.
Nervous excitement added a slight jitter to her step as the group trucked along through the mud and dead undergrowth. In all honesty, there had been only one thing on her mind while she had been cooped up in the medicine den- Snowpaw, but he was a complicated situation, and that one big thought quickly shattered into a million little anxious thoughts, reflections.
How she had left him that day on the border, the realization of how much she missed talking to him, looking at him, how much that frail shell of the once snarky apprentice had terrified her when she last saw him.
It didn’t take long for her to pull ahead despite the soreness in her leg, her slight stumble only earning her a chastising call from the patrol leader to pull back and know her place.
Each minute stretched into a lifetime until they finally reached the border, where barren oaks split into golden pine trees, but Roepaw’s typically wandering gaze was stuck only forwards today.
While the rest of her patrol sniffed and shuffled along their side of the border, Roepaw only paced a few pawsteps to the side in a poor attempt to look busy.
The icy feeling of disappointment in her throat had just began to grow as the patrol slowly began to finish.
Wait!
Something above rustles, and brittle twigs come trickling down, quickly followed by the light thuds of a Skyclanners typical entrance. Roepaw’s wide green eyes followed each new warrior, until her gaze locked on a familiar white dusted pelt.
She’d wait for him to see her, wait for the curt hello’s and idle chit-chat of her clanmates and the other clan to be faintly exchanged before she’d move further down the border barely registered by her distracted clanmates, silently hoping Snowpaw would follow her down.
"speech."​

 

Another day, another patrol. Quillpaw would be a warrior soon and he would be left to train under Thistleback alone. It was almost lonely. He had gotten used to being quietly on the side as the other apprentice took the reigns and spoke out boldly, the older of them and the one who was quicker to act. Snowpaw had happily let him do so, trailing along behind them both without much worry to make himself known. Now he'd lost this shield of sorts, it was a little tiring to imagine the rest of his training alone but he liked Thistleback at least. He knew the tom would not steer him wrong. He remember the cold nights digging a burrow, talking about regrets. Things would get better, he hoped.
Once again his golden gaze roamed over to the border, carefully scanning for any sign of his friend and preparing for continued disappointment. He had not seen Roepaw in some time, but was too worried over causing trouble to ask anyone about her in passing. He hoped she was well, he hoped nothing had happened, he hoped...
Hoped swelled. His ears pricked upward in surprise to see the pale fawn-colored pelt of the other apprentice appear again and it took all of his impulse control to not greet her with loud exuberance. When she gestured to trail back, to follow behind, he glanced ahead briefly before doing so and waiting until both their patrols had wandered slightly further ahead.
"Where have you been?" Snowpaw blurted out without thinking, worry furrowing his brow, "Are you alright?"
He knew she had breathing problems, but he didn't know the extent of them. Perhaps that kept her?

​
 
I TOLD YOU ONCE, I CAN'T DO THIS AGAIN​
Dirt speckled paws only shuffled against the snow dappled ground as Roepaw led the way, trying to suppress the ecstatic grin practically plastered to her features.
She comes to a stop as Snowpaw finally speaks, whirling around to meet his furrowed brow with a whisper of a laugh on her maw. "Were you worried about me?" She chimed in return, her light-hearted tone almost dipping into something akin to a genuine question, an intruding thought pressing on her temple- he thought about me at all?
"I uh, I tweaked my leg in a hunting accident, or.. Berryheart called it a dislocation, I had to spend a whole moon in camp!" She quickly turns back to the true question at hand, "and then-" she catches herself almost telling him about the dog attack, but falters. Such a catastrophic event was more than likely to have already been noticed by their neighbors, but knowing herself she’d end up spilling everything to her friend, and though it left a bitter taste on her tongue, she still knew just as well that they were not clanmates, hardly kind neighbors anymore, either.
"What’ve you been up to? Did you get taller?" She changes the subject, emphasizing her last prompt by craning her head slightly more and squinting her eyes.

"speech."​

 

Were you worried about me? It felt like a teasing remark, but there was some sincerity to the comment. As if she expected a cat to simply forget she existed when she wasn't there. But Roepaw had been one of the few positive thoughts he'd had while adapting back to being in the clan. He didn't think about her constantly, he had so much worrying that filled his head otherwise and so much had happened in SkyClan but when she did come to mind it was pleasant.
"Of course I did.." What a silly question. His ears flicked upward and then pinned back at the comment of her leg and he winced sympathetically; he didn't know what dislocation meant but it sounded painful-whatever else had happened in ThunderClan was cut off as she realized the same thing he had just come to understand. They had to be careful talking. Snowpaw wanted to tell her everything, talk to someone at length about Coyotepaw coming back, the WindClanners joining, his fellow apprentice being made a warrior, his reconciliation with Howlpaw...
But he knew he couldn't give a ThunderClanner too much information and the fact they could not just chat without worry was his own doing as well. His claws had cut a line. "I'm glad it wasn't anything serious." He said finally, tail lashing behind him.
What had he been up to. "I'm back in camp now...things are going-uh..." He paused, how were they going? "...okay. I think." Okay enough. Her remark on his height had him roll his eyes though, a rare flicker of that old sass rising up to the surface, "Of course I have!" Shaking his head he found his gaze drawn back to her more focused. Roepaw was probably just a touch taller than him actually, not by a lot. On the way here they had passed by one of the old shaking trees he use to enjoy pushing his paws against as a kitten. If you hit it hard enough the branches would bow and bounce and loosen the pink and white blooms that clung to it in great clumps. Dogwood trees, they were called apparently, but he felt the name too sharp. Too harsh. Dogs were scary, but the trees reminded him instead of Roepaw. He'd heard they were one of the first trees to begin blossoming again in newleaf and already he could see them peppered with faint sunset spotting. "Wait here a second."
Suddenly overcome with an impulse he couldn't quite explain, the blue tabby turned to trace his steps back where the patrol had come from before returning moment letter with a slender stick between his teeth; almost pale like white birch but pronged like a deer antler. The dogwood blossoms there were newly budded and much more secure than when they bloomed and could be loosened by a strong wind. The trees reminded him of hope. Roepaw reminded him of hope. The apprentice paused to glance at the two patrols before passing the stick over.
"It's uh....it's called dogwood. The name is funny, but they're the first trees that get flowers and leaves back in newleaf. It's already started you know. I see them trying to come out of hiding already.."
​
 
I TOLD YOU ONCE, I CAN'T DO THIS AGAIN​
The heat that burns at her cheekbones almost catches Roepaw off guard, over a merely polite response.
Of course I did.
Yet, the flush quickly washes away, and Roepaw is back to listening to the ashen apprentice, hazy green optics placed intently on his as he shares his return to camp, but the pause almost concerns her. She wants to ask if everything is really okay, if he’s okay- but the moment to ask passes too quickly, and the subject changes once again, their interactions always going by too quickly, Roepaw finds herself inwardly remarking.
Her gaze drops as she tries to search for something else surface-level to talk about, not that she wants to keep their conversation shallow, but more that she has to. Any moment their patrols would have to go their separate ways-
Wait here.
Her gaze flickers back upwards just as Snowpaw turns on his heel. "Wha- where….?" Roepaw fumbles, her brows furrowing in confusion when Snowpaw returns, and she follows his quick glance towards their two patrols.
"What…" Roepaw breathes again, but Snowpaw is speaking now.
Her eyes fixate on the stick that he passes over, her own forepaw reaching to touch it just as his withdraws. She looks back up to him, her expression touched. "For me?" The molly asks, "wow it’s beautiful.. it kind of looks like an antler" she muses when she looks to get a better view of it, her head tilting softly. "Thank you… but I don’t want to break it on the way back to camp.. will you help me put it behind my ear? I’ll really look like a deer then! " Its almost an awkward request, but they don’t have much time, so Roepaw doesn’t beat around the bush. If Snowpaw were to accept, she’d gently slide it back over to him, her eyes steadying on the invisible scent line for just a moment before she’d slightly bow her head.
"I don’t know what you did with Frosty but-" she’d wait to continue until the stick would be securely tucked behind her ear, "I think I like this guy a whole lot too."

"speech."​

 

He smiled, glad she liked the small token and he couldn't help but offer a laugh and hesitant glance to his patrol before reaching over to assist her in setting the little twig up properly where it did look like a proper little antler. Roe was a deer, she had told him what felt like so many moons ago.
It looked nice on her, the pale bark coloring and the pink petals at the end, curled back behind an ear like an actually deer and framing her face with its sharp edges; it made her softer. The sudden impulse to lean forward and push his nose to her cheek struck him and he felt his chest tighten as he resisted it; unsure of the strange feeling of ellation the thought had brought on but they were too close to their passing patrols for anything outside the simple shift of paws to prop up an accessory.

I don't know what you did with Frosty.
It wasn't a comment meant to demean him or anything, but it did give him pause. Had he changed so much? He supposed he had. He felt like he tempered himself better, kept his comments in check and didn't try to pick fights as much as he once had but he was still the same cat. Before the bloodied snow, his arrogance had been on full display but now he felt as though he had a better understanding of the world. He just wished the price for this knowledge had not been so high. "Frosty's defrosted a little, but I promise you he's still here."
He hears the patrol move ahead, a voice calls his name but the owner does not glance back to him and he frowns as he realizes the brief meeting had come to an end. He wants to say something, anything, she had been locked up in her camp for so long that it felt odd to have her present once more; would it be too forward to ask to meet again at some point? Maybe without the patrols?
​
 
I TOLD YOU ONCE, I CAN'T DO THIS AGAIN​
She can feel when the twig is settled in place, as well as the cue for her to step back. Yet, she almost doesn’t want to. Her hesitation is barely noticeable, as a heart beat later she is back to looking up at him, the grateful smile still stuck on her maw when he replies to her tease. "Good, I need someone to keep me on my toes after all."
The reply had barely left her lips before she hears someone call back for Snowpaw, which meant their time was up.
Her frown matches his, and more unlucky for her- Flycatcher was the type to come looking instead of the casual call.
"I feel like going for a walk tonight, after the last patrol comes in. Maybe I’ll stop by here. Maybe I’ll see you?"
Her impulse washes over her rational thought, but she doesn’t have time to hear him answer, only to look at him knowingly for one last moment before she’d turn on her heel and trot back over to her patrol, her heart racing and anxiety spiking.
Stars, what am I doing?

/out ! Thread successfully finished \o/
"speech."
​

 
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