private heaven angel - marblepaw

[STONEPAW]

He hadn't been the same since watching Starlingheart be brutally killed. A warrior was one thing, at least to him. They were... morbidly... supposed to die in battle. But a medicine cat? He shouldn't have even let her get that close. He should've been faster, stronger. The guilt wasn't gnawing, it was thrashing, clawing, ripping at his chest and throat. He had to do something. Say something. Stars, anything at all. Stonepaw had made to approach the medicine den more than once already. He kept overthinking his speech he'd thought up. That's stupid, don't say that, she doesn't want to hear that... he thought, his tail lashing.

He figured he'd rip off the metaphorical cobweb. He made sure he wasn't interrupting anything, but even despite his planning, overthinking, overworking... as soon as he stepped into the medicine den the words all dried up on his tongue. What could he even begin to say to express the debt he owed her, Starlingheart, the whole clan?

"I'm sorry,"

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• @MARBLEPAW
  
  "speech"

• 

• STONEPAW ✩ he/him, apprentice of shadowclan, ten moons
  ⭃ pretty lilac with low white and blue eyes. very driven, wants to be the best, pushy. has built up a bit of muscle but is still agile.
  ⭃ peaceful and healing powerplay permitted / / tag when attacking
  ⭃ penned by Twitchtail ↛ @iliawonders on discord, feel free to dm for plots.

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[MARBLELEAF]

Since Sneezeduck's visit, Marblepaw has kept herself busy. The wound on her leg has scabbed over, and though it still feels stiff in the bitterest cold, she finds her movement has mostly returned to her. There are dried, expired herbs to scrape away, though she stares dismally at the withered petals in question. Was it even safe to discard them? Weren't herbs past their prime better than no herbs at all? She wishes she could ask Starlingheart what the best thing to do would be, but... At the medicine cat gathering. I'll ask Cottonsprig, maybe.

She's startled out of her reverie by the scuffling of paws against the cavern floor. Marblepaw twists; Stonepaw's shoulders are dimly lit by the pale leafbare light flooding the inside. His eyes are grim with some inner torment, and she abandons her task at once, padding closer to him with her jaws parted. Is he hurt? Have his wounds from the badger gotten worse?

But Stonepaw isn't here for that, it seems. The apprentice meets her gaze and murmurs, "I'm sorry." Marblepaw's ear flicks; she meets his eyes steadily, feeling her own heart beginning to wrench. "You... you have nothing to be sorry for," she says, her throat beginning to thicken. "I... I'm the one who should be sorry. I never should have left without her. Without someone." Fresh grief glistens in her eyes. "You and Scalejaw and Sycamorebloom did everything you could."

… ❞​

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[STONEPAW]

The mutual guilt they shared hung thick between them. He broke eye contact. "You... were just doing your job," he croaked. Instead of her, his gaze trained rather sharply on a dry leaf. The pile promptly forgotten upon his arrival. Stonepaw's jaw set as he thought for a moment. She was providing, searching, hunting in her own way. He was too slow.

"I should've done mine better," his voice was steely, "I was right behind her," shoulders hunched, he finally lifted his gaze to meet hers once again. The tears in her eyes ripped his heart open. Flashes of red in his memory. Tears welled in his own eyes, but he wouldn't let them fall. He couldn't force her to care for his emotions too. She had enough on her. "If you ever need anything..." he started. Like what? She had closer friends, loved ones, more competent advisors. He cleared his throat. "I'm available. Even if it's just to go for a walk,"

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‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎┌── ooc ⋆⋅☾⋅⋆ info ──┐‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎

• "speech"

• 

• STONEPAW ✩ he/him, apprentice of shadowclan, ten moons
  ⭃ pretty lilac with low white and blue eyes. very driven, wants to be the best, pushy. has built up a bit of muscle but is still agile.
  ⭃ peaceful and healing powerplay permitted / / tag when attacking
  ⭃ penned by Twitchtail ↛ @iliawonders on discord, feel free to dm for plots.

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