pafp HEAVEN SAYS ✘ name change

[SMOKESTAR]

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"We're changing your name..."
It was the first words out of his mouth when he finally caught up to Starlightpaw, having just returned from patrol with their mentor. It was something Smokestar had been thinking about since the young dark cat was born, blessed with a name that was tantamount to a curse more than anything, a fact he knew even more than he did then. The burden of stars was not something he wished on his worse enemies, let alone his own children. Cicadastar had chosen it out of some warped entitlement, some twisted sense of purpose, a crown to place atop a sloped head over ears too big for their smaller body. He'd been too exhausted to protest initially, eventually bringing it up and enciting an argument among the two of them over what kind of legacy would be left behind with such a title, of the weight and crushing sense of being overwhelmed that came from leadership. The black and white tom only wanted his kits to grow into their own, live without being dragged into the shadow of their father's looming figure; it wasn't something he could even explain to them truthfully, a dreadful secret of the slender tom's fate he was to carry alone for the rest of his life. A knowledge he would never see his mate again except in brief respites of dreaming of comforting and simpler times that were such a rarity as opposed to the nightmares he'd had since.
Part of him, the part that is terrified and filled with the horror of the future, even wanted to change Cicadapaw's name to escape the constant reminder of what he'd lost, or what he'd never had to begin with. A small part of him still found comfort in it despite that, so he held fast to the flickering flame in his heart in a desperate bid to remain warm but his den was empty and the shadows on his walls seemed to rise higher to the ceiling over him with each passing moon.
"...I don't know what to yet, but...I want...you to have a name that is not so heavy. A name not molded for you by such high expectations..."
His heart thunders in his chest, he's expecting a battle on the topic but his decision will be resolute - asking was only to prepare his offspring, to perhaps gleen an idea or two of what to replace it with.

——✘ when does ripple become a tidal wave ———✘ when does a candle become a flame

• Pafp- @Starlightpaw
• 
  
  
  Smokestar
  —⊰⋅ Leader of RiverClan
  —⊰⋅ He/Him
  "SPEECH", 'THOUGHTS', ATTACK
  —⊰⋅ Black tom w/vitiligo & one orange eye.
  

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[Cricketchirp]

( ✩ )　 It comes suddenly, unannounced, out in the open space of the camp. His mind was on other things, shifting from the focus of patrol back to the quiet of the time in between. Smokestar's dark, star-dappled form catches their eye for a moment before it registers that he is heading for them. There is something urgent in his eyes, something dark.

We're changing your name. It's not a question, not a request. We, as though it is already unanimous, already written in the stones of the river shore. "..What?"

A memory of chattering elder gossip bubbles up. Calling his name a curse. Smokestar could not be so naive as to believe those lies. Starlightpaw's name is a special thing, and not all can see the blessedness within the cat who bears it. That they have accepted; the lowly do not understand what makes the holy so great, this is only natural. They will in time, of course. She molds herself each day to fit the throne she was born for, ill-fitting crown borne proudly and easily. Starlightpaw knows in her bones that she is a creature of starstuff, that her name could not be more fitting. She feels the thrum of heavensblood in her veins, the voices of the stars whispering in her ear that she was destined for something great.

She had thought that Smokestar, of all cats, would understand. He with the mark on his forehead just as her own. The little star, heralding his ascension as theirs heralded their birth. He who is closer to StarClan than any should know that his children were sculpted from the same mold.

But no, he speaks of expectations. Is a high expectation really such a horrible thing, when it is more fate than hope? "Oh, no, papa, it's -" a misunderstanding. He has her best interests at heart, of course, but he is misguided. Perhaps he has been spending too much time with Cicadapaw - or Beepaw, does it weigh on her too? Perhaps he should ask. His siblings should not be troubled, just as he is not. "It's alright. I do not mind my name, do not mind it's - ah - heaviness."

His smile feels strange upon his face. His eyes keep darting around, as though searching for some joke, the corner of his mouth twitches up and down as though unsure how to feel. It's alright, it's a misunderstanding. But this shouldn't be happening, Smokestar should know better.

He responds just as he did to the elders, but softer, kinder. More entreating. "Father gave it to me, yes? It's what he wanted for me - and I cherish it." So don't take it away from me. All that remains of Cicadastar is memory, legacy. It would be cruel to take that from a cat already dead, erase his wish from the child who has dedicated their life to carrying it.

There is something pleading in Starlightpaw's eyes. "Really, I do. You have no reason to worry." And no reason to change it.

I WANNA SEE ✩ THE WHOLE WORLD! 【 12.12.23 】

• //
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• "SPEECH"

• ✩ 　⁺　₊ 　⋆　STARLIGHTPAW.　APPRENTICE OF RIVERCLAN.　HE / SHE / THEY.
  6 MOONS & AGES ON THE 12TH.　PENNED BY SATURNID.
  
  

  

  ✩ — A WIRY, CURLY-FURRED BLACK SMOKE WITH CLOUDED BLUE EYES.
  

  
  SMOKETHROAT xx CICADASTAR. LITTERMATE TO BEEPAW & CICADAPAW.
  
  MENTORED BY PETALNOSE.​

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[valesight ➶]

⸙͎｡˚⋆ ⍋ ѧѦ ѧ⍋ ⸙͎｡˚⋆

This wasn't really a conversation for him. He didn't have the insight on the past to be able to make any educated guess why Starlightpaw would cling so tightly to a name. Valepaw knew there was a power to them... and when you did something as conceited as reach for godhood in that identity, you should be afraid of the consequences. Squinting in a way that reflected his disdain for the other apprentice's self-centered lack of thinking, the chimera couldn't help but wish anyone in this clan respected him enough to understand the thing he'd failed to articulate for moons.

Names hold power. They hold intention. To use them is to force your will onto that individual.

To steal a name from heaven is to try to make their power mortal. To make them lesser.

"It's not yours," he says cryptically. It wasn't your father's to give away either, he thinks but can't articulate, "It's StarClan's." His pale eyes search a bound-muscled leader, knowing they must share that philosophy in some small way. And if Smokestar is concerned by it... then there's no way the cream and brown tom is wrong to think this way too. Experience was the best teacher and their leader had more experience than both apprentices put together.

Having a new name would be a blessing, as far as he was concerned. So many people had sullied his, chewed it up in their mouths and spit it out like it was just another word rather than the sum of all his parts. It disgusted him, drove him to fury. It didn't matter if Starlightpaw liked his name either, the role of leader, of king, meant absolute control. And the vitiligo-dappled cat in front of him didn't seem the type to brandish it without reason.​

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[otterbite]

Otterpaw isn't the kind of sentimental or spiritual type whatsoever, at least not in comparison to his Clanmates. He doesn't hold much weight in things like luck, he viewed their place in the stars in the most simplistic of forms- a container post-death. His name or anyone else's is hardly a topic in his mind that carried much thought, either.

It doesn't take a genius to know that Starlight as the basis of one's name is rather absurd. Not that he ever cared to make that opinion known, and Starlightpaw's inflated sense of self had only helped Otterpaw anyway. He never expected that her name would ever be changed, though. Cicadastar had picked it after all, and whatever the leader wished for he received.

Valepaw supported Smokestar in saying her name already belonged to someone else. To StarClan themselves which confused the boy. What did that mean for the rest of them? Wouldn't that meant his name belonging to the crab-eating weasels, and his father's to the very fish they ate? He gave Valepaw a confused sideways glance before returning back to Starlightpaw.

"If StarClan didn't approve, wouldn't they have told you?" ​

RIVERCLAN APPRENTICE ✦ BLUE-BLACK CHIMERA ✦ 9 MOONS ✦ TAGS​

 

[SMOKESTAR]

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He remembers the kits being named in a blur, he'd been too disoriented to offer much commentary at the time and could not think of anything suiting until he had been prodded by the lean tom at the time to at least name the one. When he had he didn't realize that of all the names chosen it would be Beekit that weighted so heavily on his mate, flaunting what he'd done in his face further - the dark tom still had no idea of the details of that night but he knew in his heart of hearts that he should have done something sooner. Cicadapaw's name was also something that brought him grief, but that in itself was now a legacy he was too moroseful and unwilling to change; it had been a name of egotism and self-gratification at first, now it was just an echo.

His stomach twists into a knot at the innocently phrased excuse for the attachment, 'father gave it to me' and the irony is so bitter it tastes like his mouth is filled with blood again and his teeth are once more locked in a throat the color of marble and storms. To name a child after the very stars who would not permit you entry, he still doesn't know where Cicadastar's spirit was but he know the patchwork phantom would not approve of what he was doing and somehow that made it easier. He hates that it makes it easier.
"It wasn't a question, once I have...decided on one...it will be changed." Smokestar does not want to argue, does not want to be stern and forceful with it but he does not yield in face of this attachment and his voice remains firm and unwavering.
Valepaw is there suddenly and he's aware of the judgemental stare of youth, Otterpaw soon joins and he's reminded again of his desire to shove the blue-black tom into the waters to see if he swims as well as his namesake does.
"The stars are sacred, now cat should carry their name at the forefront. They are meant to be worn only by those who trail nine lives. Cicadastar-" His mate's name feels foriegn now, unfamiliar, he wanted to throw up, "-knew this, but did not have time to change it. Much happened." And then he died, but he did not bother explaining further. It was a pointed lie, the prior leader knew what he was doing and didn't regret it once and their argument in the river so long ago made that clear but he was changing this name no matter what and if he had to martyr the dead tom he'd never see again for it then so be it.
"I will give you a new name, one we both would have chosen..."

✘ I've got a reputation and a name to uphold. ✘ Ruthlessness is mercy upon ourselves.

• OOC can go here.
• 
  
  
  Smokestar
  —⊰⋅ Leader of RiverClan
  —⊰⋅ He/Him
  "SPEECH", 'THOUGHTS', ATTACK
  —⊰⋅ Black tom w/vitiligo & one orange eye.
  

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