- Aug 9, 2023
- 77
- 4
- 8
Death is an unfamiliar concept in her young mind. Sure, she had seen it. But it has never touched her, never been someone she loved being lowered into the ground, their body cold and lifeless, eyes closed and never to open again. She has never had to grieve for anyone before. She is sad, sure, at Cicadastar's passing. He had been the only leader she has known in life, after all. But she cannot say for certainty that she herself would exactly miss his presence. He was an enigma to her as much as she is certain she had been nearly a stranger to him. Barely a blip on each others radars. A vague undestanding that the two of them existed in a similar space occupies the forefront of her mind but calling him anything other than 'leader' would feel strange.
And then there was his children. The cats he had left behind. Never could she hope to understand what the feeling of loosing a parent was like. Nor did she ever want to. She does not envy the trio in their grief, and she tries to stay away from them when possible. Not because she is scared of their hollowed out haunted eyes but because she has never been good with words, and what could there ever possibly be for her to say in such a situation that would make them feel better?
Despite her best efforts though, her and Cicadapaw are paired up today. 'Go together to fetch some fresh moss for the nursery would you' they have been ordered. Probably because Dipperpaw is an older apprentice and Cicadapaw younger. It is always safest to travel in pairs. But she wishes so desperately in this moment that this were not the case.
They work quietly for a few long moments, seconds dragging into eons in the space that has opened up in the silence between them. Broken only by the sound of claws scraping against rock as she peels the moss away from where it clings so desperately to stone. "Were you close?" she says abruptly, shattering the peace with quiet words she had not even known she had spoken until they were already there, hanging between them. "You and your father I mean.... you must miss him" the clarification is probably not necessary but she feels... akward. Out of the corner of one of her sun drowned eyes she peers at him.
// @CICADAPAW