hiding in the blue | training

[Sunfreckle]

An apprentice, his first apprentice. He had not expected it, not in all his moons being here; to be trusted with training ThunderClan's youth when he was still adapting himself every day. He felt the improvement, gradually, some days he felt despondent and others elated but even with his occasional failings he was continuing to move forward. Losing his daughters, including Morningpaw who was not his by blood but he felt it just as sharply; it had made him wonder if he was doing something wrong. But he was alive, he was still trying and he would not falter.
Perhaps being given Shallowpaw was also for himself and not just to train the quite boy, they could learn together and adapt in a world where most tracks left a set of four paws where theirs only left three. Sunfreckle had managed this long, not entirely alone but with his own willpower, he hoped he could help the young ex-rogue Sunnyday brought to their clan be comfortable here too eventually.
It was a little embarrassing that he hadn't expected an apprentice and thus took off to go roaming the moment he heard the meeting start, "I'm sorry for not being there when you were assigned me!" The warrior chuckled, ambling along through the forest to get to the shrouded clearing of pines they would be chatting in shortly, "I wish Emberstar had given me some warning, I wouldn't have fun off as I did. Still though..." His green gaze moves around the surrounding forest, cloaked in white and the chill only barely pushing past his thick fur, "...it's nice being out again."
He looked expectantly to the cool-toned apprentice next to him, expression hard to determine given the tom's lack of emoting but he felt like Shallowpaw wouldn't be too hard on him for his silly rush into the woods the day he was free of the nursery. "How much have you learned from your old mentor?" He could not remember who that was. Was it Leafshade? He'd disappeared hadn't he? Sunfreckle hoped he was okay wherever he was.

@SHALLOWPAW
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[SHALLOW]

Shallowpaw would silently follow after his new mentor after his previous one had been unfit to train him anymore for whatever reasons. He hadn't been here for long but already he had to swapped over to somebody else. Was this normal?, or was it just because it was him?. Well, whatever. He shouldn't let it bother him all too much. Beside, Sunfreckle had been one of the cats who actually had acknowledged him when he first had came here. Never would he forget about the night when this former queen had offered to share their nest with him and their other kits. These few days he had spent with them before becoming an apprentice he would never forget. How warm a nest could feel when sharing it with somebody else.

" That's okay." He would answer to his mentors apology for not being there during the meeting to accept him as their new apprentice. To be honest about it he didn't really think much about it. Shallowpaw was still learning about this clans traditions and lifestyle, but he couldn't say he felt all to much attached to them yet, anyway.

What he was curious about his new mentor though was their missing leg. Both of them only had three legs to walk on and by the looks of it Sunfreckle didn't have any problems with relaying on just three legs. It was his first time meeting a cat like him to be honest. So in a way he was grateful to have this tom as his new mentor since he felt he could learn more from them. Another thing that was not new to him really was that this warrior liked to talk just as much like Sunnyday did.

He took in the environment they ended up looking around at the pine trees and the more open area, all while listening under the meantime to what Sunfreckle said. He guess being stuck in the nursery all day could become boring after a while especially since he had watched how busy Sunfreckle had been with his kits. Sparkkit specially.

" Not much." he would confess when he was being asked how much he had learned this far. In all honestly there had not been much training lessons between him and Leafshade. He looked up at one of the pine trees, watching a bird up there in one of the branches. " I haven't caught my first prey yet." he twitched a ear, not looking to be much in shame over this fact. Sure it bothered him but it was difficult for him to move in the snow so he had all odds against him. Still he wanted to believe he one day would caught something before leafbare was over.




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[Sunfreckle]

The red tabby smiled, assured he had not gotten off on the wrong foot with his first apprentice. Thankful for that, he only had the three feet and if the right one was the missing one then he was surely in trouble! His own mental joke made him shake lightly as if trying to get the gathering snow off his back, but his steps remained even and enthusiastic. It wouldn't be much further til they could put in some actual work and he now had a rough idea of where to start.
Had the apprentice's other mentor gone to the elder's den or gotten sick? Perhaps left the clan? He really wished he could remember who that was to ask questions to help him with his own training but he supposed it was all on him in this case. That was fine, though hearing the other had not even caught anything yet made him tilt his head to the side curiously.
"Oh, that's exciting! I'll get to see your first catch! Mine was a bird." He remembered it, a sparrow and the reason he developed a fondness for birds as his favorite meal. It had been rather small, but he had grabbed it just as it went to take off and the thrill of it was still a fond memory.
"Once we get a little further from camp we'll start hunting, I don't see too much this close sadly. I think they know we're hungry." Sunfreckle chuckled but he was somewhat serious. Leaf-bare desperation was real and perhaps the prey could scent how restless and uneasy the cats of ThunderClan were becoming.
Now that they were away from camp and some time had passed to allow the boy to calm, he wanted to bring up the previous incident. It took a moment for Sunfreckle to formulate how to approach it but in the end he smiled and just went with his gut instinct.
"If you don't mind though, Shallowpaw? Can I ask what actually happened that day in the apprentice den? With the prey?" The red tabby kept walking slowly, but kept a careful eye to the side in case the other slower or his expression changed to unease. "I won't force you to talk if you don't want to, of course. We can just pretend it never happened, but...I get the feeling I upset you and I want to apologize." He just wasn't sure what the details were so he could not offer his apology without that or it would feel forced and flat. Maybe the food thing was a touchy subject, he had no idea-all he knew was he liked Shallowpaw and he was his mentor now, so he didn't want this wall to form if he could help it.


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[SHALLOW]

Okay, that was not the reaction he had been expecting thinking at least there would be some sort of disappointment but no. Shallowpaw was not entierly sure if he understood why his mentor was so excited to begin with to be there when he caught his first prey. To begin with he was not sure why Sunfreckle was so hyped over to get to train him. It was weird, to him anyway not used with so much positivity getting send his way. A bird though?. That was pretty impressive if Sunfreckle had catch a bird as his first prey. To him birds didn't seem like the easiest prey to catch. But at the sametime he had been close to capture a quail once when he had been out hunting with Sunnyday. " Catching a bird as your first prey is...impressive." he would comment, his words almost coming out through a mumble to himself. That at least meant he had a chance to catch a bird too one day.

He would nod his head when Sunfreckle instructed for them to walk further into the forest before begining their first hunting session together. It made sense after all. No prey would be too close to camp and in this season finding anything seemed even more difficult. Better to walk further away.

Up until now everything had gone smoothly between the two, and Shallowpaw had honestly been ready to just focus on his training today but his mentor had other things on his mind. It had been almost a week since that incident in the apprentice den had happend and Shallowpaw had not even once opened his mouth about it, acting just like usual maybe because at this point he was used with getting misunderstood, to get judged for being something he never had much of a choice in to be. To say he hadn't been upset about it would be a lie, to say it still didn't bother him would be the same. At this point he was used with getting let down by others..especially the adults. Still he refused to give up to become what they all thought of him to be. Not this time anyway. He had finally find a path he wanted to walk on and he was gonna stay on it no matter what.

" Why?." Was his instant question as to why Sunfreckle had brought this up now at all times. He had slowed down when they had, his gaze avoiding theirs as he kept his attention down on the snow as he slowly started to shut himself down from this conversation. When Sunfreckle continued speaking, addressing how they felt they had wronged him and wanted to apologize to him...he suddenly stopped to a halt. Shallowpaw had low expectations when it came to other cats opinions on him, in fact he couldn't really bother himself with it. The moment they had wrongly assumed something of him Shallow no longer saw a point to explain himself to them. They would never believe him anyway. After a moment of self-reflecting he would look up to stare directly at them. " What's the point?. You won't believe me even if i told you." It was more a fact then him trying to be defensive about it. Many times in the past he had tried to tell the truth to explain when a misunderstanding had happened or if he had got wrongly accused. But no one had believed him. Would it really be different this time?.


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[Sunfreckle]

When the younger tom slowed to a stop he did as well, pausing midstride to tilt his head down to the side curiously before turning around fully to face the apprentice with a concerned but confused frown to the question. He hadn't expected it but that was fine, it just meant he was a bit startled and needed a second to actually register what had been said. What was the point? Well, obviously it was because he might've misunderstood and wanted to check-especially given how upset Shallowpaw had seemed, something else had happened and Sunfreckle wasn't the sort to just let those things go.
The red tabby's confusion faded, replaced with a small smile, "Well, the point is if I made a bad assumption I want to correct it. You seemed very upset, so I thought to give you some space first but the more I thought about it the more I realized maybe I just heard the other apprentices and assumed from there." It had been hard to rationalize in his head that a group of young cats would just lie to ostrasize their clanmate, because it was so needlessly cruel he didn't want to believe it but if that was the case then he wanted to know the truth.
"I don't think you have any reason to lie to me, I'm willing to listen."
He did have more reason to believe his own apprentice than the other apprentices, little white lies to shirk chores and such have earned them no real trust from him and Wildpaw was...a difficult young tom on his own. Wildpaw was a little menace who he felt had the capabilities of being a good warrior one day but he had to tone himself down and figure himself out first. Sunfreckle was thankful to not get such a volatile apprentice for his first one, he and Shallowpaw got along much nicer he felt. "Anyways, if you don't want to I promise I won't force it. But I would like to hear your truth because its not fair of me to not give you a chance to speak. You're allowed a voice too."
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[SHALLOW]

Upset...he guess that was what he had felt back then. It was hard sometimes not to feel let down to forget completely how easily he got disappointed. Even if he had learned that lesson already, sometimes it was difficult not to think for a second that things might be different this time. So yes. He guess he had been upset but mostly at himself to actually have thought this place was different. At the same time though could he really blame Sunfreckle for having believed the other apprentices over him?. That was something he had thought about. They where clan born he was not. It was easier to believe a trusted cat then...a rogue. Former or not.

Sunfreckle explained he was willing to listen to his side of the story, and Shallowpaw thought their words out carefully. You're allowed a voice too. That might have been what surprised him the must to hear. A voice. Shallowpaw's eyes widened slightly, but only for a brief second. There was something there among this words, a deeper meaning behind such simply words. A reason to why a certain cat always were quiet, never using their voice. A forgotten voice that had been forbidden. Why speak if no one would listen?, if no one wanted to hear.

Heavy words left the apprentice stunned, a cloud over his head. Shallowpaw find his gaze falling from his mentor's face until he stared down at the white snow, thinking, reflecting...If you don't want to i promise I won't force you. He breathed out, warm breath meeting the cold air on the outside, and a cloud of hot air warmed his face. " I didn't do it." he finally spoke, his voice low but unwavering. " They set me up. "


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[Sunfreckle]

"Set you up?" He asks, not dismissively but with genuine confusion. It took a moment to roll it over in his thoughts before he realized what the apprentice meant; they had put the prey there themselves and claimed Shallowpaw had done it. When Sunfreckle asked if he was worried over going hungry he had just naturally assumed it was the truth. He should have asked, but it was so appalling to think that that such cruelty could come from the youth of the clan. The red tabby's nose wrinkled in thought, unhappy with what had been done to the other but not wanting to blow it out of proportions and make it worse for him; there was no point accidentally embarrassing the tom but something should be done. "I'm so sorry I didn't think to ask you what happened then. What they did was horrid, I want to tell Emberst-" He pauses, the leader's smiling face lightly scolding the other apprentices enters his mind and he feels it is too soft. Too kind. "...Howling Wind. I'd like to let her know to talk to them so this doesn't happen again and if they do anything else please let me know. I can't blindly promise I'll always believe you immediately, but I will make sure to not make assumptions in the future. We will look into things better." Sunfreckle was hesitant to promise absolute belief because sometimes cats made little white lies that were harmless but sometimes they lied to protect themselves and believing this lie might hurt more in the future...but he would try harder for his apprentice.
The red tabby smiled once more, trying not to let himself feel angry at the blatant bullying being done in the clan he was now aware of. He hoped none of his were participating in it or he would have quite a few harsh words for them in response but he doubted his own kits were enabling this behavior.
"Thank you for trusting me, what say we keep on with out hunting then shall we?"
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[SHALLOW]

" It's okay. I'm not angry." It wasn't their fault after all Besides, them apologizing made him feel a bit uncomfy. Shallowpaw was used to getting blamed not for another cat trying to make things up to him. In the first place he hadn't thought Sunfreckle would believe him that easily. To him that meant more for him than an apology or...what they were suggesting right now. To bring what had happend to Howling Wind. His eyes would narrow themself, his expression showing he was not fond over this idea.

"No." It came out firmly, his stoic gaze harden before he looked up at his mentor. There was only one reason why he was rejecting this idea. " It will only make things worse." and the one who would have to take the bullet was him. Shallowpaw did not wish to complicate his life more than necessery and he knew cats at his age didn't took scolding very well. They would blame him for it and they would make his life even more difficult.

" I can deal with them on my own. " He had no intention of starting fights with them but he could endure it. Shallowpaw wouldn't let their words get to him or get lost on his way. Shallow know what he wanted and once he had got there than he would be the victorius one. " One day i'll prove they were wrong about me." He looked determinated. They where his clanmates after all and not his enemies. It didn't matter if they viewed him as one. One day they would see he was not their enemy. That he was a thunderclanner as much as they were. He wasn't gonna give up no matter how rough his path might be.

Suddenly, his expression changed into a more unsure one, and his gaze moved sideways away from his mentor. Confidence was gone now, and Shallowpaw looked almost shy. " You believing in me...are good enough.." He mumbled the words out, a light blush on his face. That was enough to make him feel warm on the inside. Still shy and not yet having recoverd the apprentice would just give a nod of his head, agreeing to contunie with their hunt.



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