private HOLDING RARE FLOWERS IN A TOMB — questioning

[MARBLEPAW]

It has been moons now since Siltcloud had left them at the edge of the Thunderpath, since Lilacfur’s teeth had kneaded her scruff as she’d carried her newfound kits to ShadowClan’s border. Despite the hardship the Twolegplace had shown her, Marblekit finds her dreams are full of cold, of concrete, of a hunger pain so sharp that it feels as though it’s shearing her belly open. She dreams of cinnamon fur, the scent sweet enough to bring tears; she dreams of gentle, moss-colored eyes, of a tongue lazily licking the soft fur between her ears. She yearns for the horrific first moons of her life, if only because there, she’d had Siltcloud.

She has grown to respect and admire Lilacfur, and she even finds herself becoming excited when she sees the pale tabby enter camp, fresh-kill in her jaws. Their relationship has been built slowly, but surely, and Marblekit no longer wishes to leave a home where her belly is filled, where her denmates shelter around her, where there are mostly kind voices and kind words for her. ShadowClan is her home, for better or worse—she knows that now.

But the past weighs on her tiny shoulders. She seeks Chilledstar and Lilacfur, her littermate trailing behind her, the questions burning on her tongue. She prods Lilacfur with a paw. “I have a question,” she mewls, straightening her spine as she sits. Her face takes on a serious cast. “Is it true that Siltcloud’s never comin’ back for us?”

『 out of character. 』 ✧･ﾟ:* 『 about. 』

• ooc: @CHILLEDSTAR. @lilacfur @Sycamorekit!
• 
• Marblekit, she/they w/ feminine and non-gendered terms.
  — “speech”, thoughts, attack
  — 4 moons old, ages realistically on the 1st.
  — mentored by n/a ; mentoring n/a ; previously mentored n/a
  — shadowclan kit, formerly a rogue. siltcloud x lilacfur, gen 3.
  — currently mated to n/a.
  — penned by Marquette.
  
  
  sh fawn tabby with dull green eyes. courageous, curious, introspective, observant, judgmental, snarky.
  
  

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[lilacfur]

How many times would she find herself sat across from this pair, shoulders heavy with the weight of bad news? Lilacfur feared that no amount of slimy round frogs and rats fat on frog carrion would help them see she is not just a baron of unfortunate tragedy.

It was her that told them of all Siltcloud's crimes to their home. Even before that, she had brought them to ShadowClan alone and were ogled at like imps overtaking the nursery. She had told them Siltcloud was never, ever coming back, but hid the details that Caterpillarpaw, her own apprentice, had cut their mother down at the salvation of her own life.

Lilacfur had been discussing a matter where privacy was not wholly necessary. An admission, really, that Caterpillarpaw had not passed her assessment yet again and would live another moon in the apprentices den. She was determined still for the calico to reach her graduation day and while she did not shine through bold opportunity like Shadepaw or pick up information quickly like Pipitclaw, she still had faith.

A little paw jabbed for her attention and already she can tell who was requesting it. Marblekit often approached either in the clumsy embrace of her long coat or with a shy poke, but she's surprised to see Sycamorekit had joined her today.

"Oh, hey! I was just about to bring this to you." She rolled the frog over to them, but neither look as excited as they normally do when looking at fresh prey. A question, one Lilacfur had answered before. Though this time she stuttered through the decision if now was the time to tell them. That Siltcloud couldn't see them, not only because she was cruel to ShadowClan, but because she had fallen by the jaws of their own Clanmate.

"She... isn't, no." And the words pace slowly from her maw. "Siltcloud hurt ShadowClan, remember?" The lead didn't want to give them more details than they needed, she decided. They didn't have to know Caterpillarpaw was the one to do it. They didn't have to know a ShadowClanner had done it at all. She could make this... kinder for them.

"But, um, there is another thing..." A quick glance is thrown the leaders way, a lifeline. Help me if this goes south?

"Siltcloud..." How does she say it? She would have to lie, even if for their benefit it felt wrong. Lilacfur wasn't a cat who lied, and the feeling of doing so made the air feel like sandpaper as he inhaled. "After I brought you here, she was found in the marshes. But... She had already passed, um, possibly from the hunger. It was too late for anyone to save her." Each word grated her tongue. But why shouldn't she save them from the pain? She hadn't been, Lilacfur had been thrown into heartbreak after heartbreak alongside her sister and then watch her littermate be torn from her family by the very mongrels that killed her brother. Why shouldn't they be saved from some of that hurt?

"I'm sorry- she doesn't have a grave here and I-I would have brought you to her if I could. Even... Even if she hurt so many cats I... I only want you to remember how much she loved you. She gave everything she could for you two."

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• 
  
  

• 

• LILACFUR ✩ she/her, 20 moons, mother to marblekit and sycamorekit
  ⭃ lh lilac rosette with yellow eyes (carrying cinnamon, solid), a torn ear and claw marks beside her eye.
  ⭃ peaceful and healing powerplay permitted / / underline and tag when attacking ↛ see battle info here
  ⭃ penned by this loser ↛ @gonkpilled on discord, feel free to dm for plots.
  

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[CHILLEDSTAR.]

they didn't really know why they were here. moral support? to help the break of the news go easier? it's not really going to be easier. no matter what is said, how its said, or why it's said. marblekit and sycamorekit have lost a parent. their other mother. the feline who raised them up for a couple of moons– gave them milk and sheltered them to the best of her abilities. she may have had questionable– at best– morals. she may have been a murderer and a traitor but her love for her kits could not be disputed. it could not be told that she did not care for them– especially given that she cared enough for them to return them to shadowclan, where they could have food in their bellies and proper training. to correct the legacy she, and granitepelt, tried so very hard to ruin.

however, lilacfur decided to... not tell them how she died truly. they think she should have said she passed away. not died of hunger as to lie to omit was only slightly better than a full on lie in general. they're sure hunger didn't help her, but most cats know that the molly's former, and lilacfur's current, apprentice killed her by accident. though they guessed it did not matter how she died. she was dead and that was simple enough... as simple as death could be.

"marblekit. do you remember why i told you I keep rocks? that's another reason. to remember. your mother did some things to hurt us, yes, but you should always remember that she did everything she could to love you and sycamorekit. she brought you here, with your mom, so that you may grow up big and strong and not make the same mistakes she did. your clan will always protect you. some cats may... may not like you. or even try to make you feel like you do not belong. but you do. you're a shadowclanner. and your homes are here. both of you."

they aim to gently press their nose to each kit's head.

"anytime I have a hard time remembering that my mother really loved me, I just look at her rock. the one I keep for her. you both could have something akin to that. for her treason, she cannot have a proper grave built within the territory. but that does not mean you cannot remember her for who she was to you. so long as you know what she did and prove to be better. okay?"

a traitorous murderer did not deserve a grave. she barely deserved to be remembered at all, left to fade out of existence was better. but... it's not that easy. it's never been that easy. if they learned that their mother was wrong and they aimed to not follow her, and became great warriors of shadowclan... then that's all they could have asked for. they could rest easy amongst the stars, when it's finally their time to go.

———————---***i try to live in black and white***———————---​

but i'm so blue✧ i'd like to mean it when i say i'm over you

•  
• — black feline with a white marking across their face, a white chin, a white right front paw, and blue eyes. chilledstar is covered in scars, the most prominent ones being the one across their face, and the one across their neck.
  — 46 moons old; ages the 3rd every month
  — they / them pronouns
  — aromantic / homosexual ; currently not looking
  — child of JAGGED and RAVEN
  — shadowclan ; loyal to shadowclan ; other info if applicable
  — mildly difficult to befriend ; trusts barely anyone; trusts no one outside of shadowclan
  — "speech", thoughts, attacking
  — peaceful powerplay allowed

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[MARBLEPAW]

Lilacfur's paws deftly roll a freshly-killed frog to her and her brother, but Marblekit hardly acknowledges it. Her eyes are round, deep as stagnant jade pools found in the deepest part of their mire. She tucks her tail around her paws, waiting, waiting, for her mother's verdict, for Chilledstar's. It comes swiftly enough, spoken on wings of hesitance. "She... isn't, no," Lilacfur says, and this time, there's finality to it, a door closing on something Marblekit hadn't realized she'd still held her breath over.

"Siltcloud hurt ShadowClan, remember?" Of course, and she hasn't forgotten this. Betonyfrost's face flashes behind her eyes, the lip curled, the teeth bared to their awful roots. "She still loves us, though," she murmurs, and the sound is high-pitched, pitiful, even to her own ears. "She did something bad, but she still loves us..." Marblekit trails off as Lilacfur stutters through her explanation.

She was found in the marshes. She had already passed, possibly from hunger.

Passed. She had passed. She was gone, gone, her body cold and unmoving, unable to push herself to weary paws and guide her children through the reeds. Gone. "No," Marblekit whispers, her heart clenched like a fist in her chest. She shakes her head—childish tears pop onto her prominent cheekbones, begin to roll down her face and streak the pale fur darker. "M...Mama... she's..."

Gone.

Passed.

Marblekit begins to tremble as Chilledstar begins to speak, reminding her of the stones in their den. She has just enough self-awareness to nod to the ShadowClan leader, to think of the stone tucked into her nest now. "Your Clan will always protect you," Chilledstar says, and Marblekit wants to believe it so badly she aches. "But Mama hurt ShadowClan," she says, and she begins to sniffle; the tears start to fall faster, faster, in rivulets. "Can we—can we really be b-better?"

『 out of character. 』 ✧･ﾟ:* 『 about. 』

• ooc: —
• 
• Marblekit, she/they w/ feminine and non-gendered terms.
  — “speech”, thoughts, attack
  — 5 moons old, ages realistically on the 1st.
  — mentored by n/a ; mentoring n/a ; previously mentored n/a
  — shadowclan kit, formerly a rogue. siltcloud x lilacfur, gen 3.
  — currently mated to n/a.
  — penned by Marquette.
  
  
  sh fawn tabby with dull green eyes. courageous, curious, introspective, observant, judgmental, snarky.
  
  

​