how she was before the tears | nightmare

[Howlfire]

It had been some time since Howlfire had had a nightmare quite like this.

Nightmares had come and gone with more frequency since her time in the Shelter, though it was not often they had left her in such a shaking mess. The dream had started off pleasantly enough - with Howlfire chasing after her kits in a lush, green forest. All four of them were happy and laughing without a care in the world. She and Wolfpaw had darted on ahead, Howlfire playfully taunting her daughter that she was going to tackle her. That was when the pleasant dream had turned into a nightmare. Howlfire chased Wolfpaw through a bush and straight into the waiting clutches of one of those metal cages twolegs used to catch cats. It wasn't like the one Wolfpaw had been captured in but rather like the one Howlfire had been caught in all those moons ago. Howlfire's mouth opened to shout a plea for Wolfpaw to be released but before she could, the scenery changed around her and they were no longer in the lush forest but the Shelter. Howlfire watched from the floor as her daughter was bundled into another cage next to other cats, scrambling at the bars to be released, calling out for her mother, father, or anyone to rescue her.

Howlfire tried calling out to Wolfpaw but it was to no avail. It was almost like Wolfpaw could not see her and that she was not really there.

Things became worse when a twoleg returned to this room, dressed all in white, and gathered Wolfpaw up from inside the cage. For what it was worth, the Wolfpaw of her dreams fought hard, hissing and clawing at the twoleg to release her. Nothing she did seem to faze the twoleg, however, and they continued to walk with Wolfpaw to an unmarked door at the back. Howlfire's heart sank when she recognised that door, recalling Daisyflight having gone in there and never returned. No! Howlfire called out. Don't take her! Please don't take her! She shouted and shouted and shouted but her cries were ignored and Howlfire could only watch in horror as Wolfpaw went into that room and disappeared out of sight forever.

"NO!" Howlfire yelled out, a cry so powerful that it transcended her dream. Her heart was hammering in her chest from the horrid dream, and due to the suddenness of her jolting upwards, it took Howlfire to realise she had actually woken up and was safe in her nest. ​

 

[Ekat]

Ekat startles awake, too — immediately lifting her head and staring about wildly as the sound of Howlfire's shout tears her violently from the clutches of sleep. Her own sleep is fitful at best, marred by her anxiety regarding dangers past — the flash of fox's teeth, the sound of ice cracking beneath the paws of her littermates — and dangers yet to come. Ekat is used to worrying throughout the night and meeting bad dreams as a result, though. It's hardly any different from the constant fear she holds when the sun is out, too. Fear is an intrinsic part of Ekat's life, has been for nearly as long as she can remember. For terror to claim Howlfire in the wake of her tragic memories, like another punishment to follow the first, is different.

"Are you... okay?" Ekat whispers when her wide, startled eyes land upon the younger she-cat and sees her sitting up in her nest, chest heaving. She's certain Howlfire isn't alright, not if the warrior is torn out of her sleep with such a loud, desperate cry — but Ekat doesn't know what else to say. She isn't close with the she-cat, as to be expected when Ekat hardly speaks to their Clanmates unless she's spoken to first. She certainly isn't going to head over to Howlfire's side and offer a consoling shoulder to lean on. She just blinks awkwardly at the she-cat, waiting in the silence filled by cricketsong and the soft breathing of sleeping cats surrounding them. Waiting for words to come to mind that might be comforting, words she might be brave enough to say aloud. They don't come.​

 

[DUSKPOOL]

don't raise your voice . improve your argument .
︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

It’d been a sudden thing, jerkin’ awake like he was on fire, chest shuddering, Duskpool rapidly scanned his surroundings for intruders — finding none, he breathed a sigh of relief. He shifted tired muscles. grappling with the last quells of sleep he’d be getting for the night, Duskpool stared at Howlfire’s panicked frame and Ekat’s whispered ‘Are you okay’ permitting the air to weave through sleep-ridden breaths and snores. A mangled ear flicked at the statement, brow raised at the question — polite, but somethin’ not everyone wanted to hear when their body language clearly said otherwise. “Are ya able to fall back asleep, or do ya wanna walk around camp?” His sleep-ridden voice rumbled, starin’ at the warrior, nonjudgemental.

It’d been a while since he had a nightmare, as frequent as they’ve been, Duskpool got decent shut-eye, but that brief blip of peace wouldn’t last long. He rumbled, stretching out stiff limbs, gathering himself into a hunched sitting position, helm dipping low to rest his chin against the rugged wool of his chest with a soft yawn, muscles rippling to accompany the shift of his body righting itself into something comfortable. “Figured gettin’ a quick drink might do us some good.” He added on after a pregnant pause, wooly tail sweeping against the curve of his nest, warmth still emitting where he slept. ​

​

thought speech​

 

[TWITCHBOLT]

It was a horrible thing to think, but if there was one thing Twitchbolt was thankful about when it came to his inablity to have kits of his own, it was that there wasn't something else to worry about. Howlfire had become a steadfast friend to him, a result of growing up in close quarters- at the loss of one of her children, Wolfpaw's fate left hanging in the balance between life and death, he could not fathom the pain she felt. Uncertainty had the most anxiety razed of claws- it gripped tight and nagging, and never really let go. Every reminder of the lost cat was a glimmer in the mind, darting out of grip whenever you tried to snatch it.

Daisyflight still persisted in her memory. She was dead, certainly... but the how, the why... he would never know.

Howlfire's shout startled him awake, though anger didn't set in all too quickly- he'd be roused from sleep by a falling feather. Concern overturned any annoyance he might have felt at being woken up- a groggy gaze found rousing heads, turning to look. Kind words rumbled in the dark, and Twitchbolt was caught between the choices of checking on Howlfire and risking overcrowding her, or lying back down and appearing torribly heartless.

He decided on the former- a croaky voice whispered in the night. "Yeah, Howlfire- we should, we should... g-get some air."​

penned by pin ✧​

 

[Howlfire]

Even in her groggy state, Howlfire was all too aware of the growing number of stares, and low mumbles of cats that were grumpy from being woken up. Howlfire hadn't meant to wake them up and looked around with a sheepish expression, shuffling her paws awkwardly. Ekat asks if she's alright and as Howlfire looks at the black she-cat she nods slowly. "It was just a bad dream," Howlfire responded, flashing Ekat an appreciative smile for her concern. It was quite telling that she hadn't actually said she was alright though.

Duskpool speaks to her next, surprisingly nonjudgmental in his cadence and the way he looks at her. Howlfire isn't close friends with the tom but finds the gesture reassuring at the very least. He asks whether she would be able to fall back to sleep or would prefer a walk to settle her mind, the latter which Twitchbolt seems to believe will be beneficial. "Some air would be good," Howlfire mewed with a quick nod. The torbie she-cat rises from her nest carefully, her legs twinging from the sudden movement after having been tucked under her. Howlfire begins to pad away towards the entrance but stops before leaving fully, looking back at the cats. "If anyone wanted to join me, I wouldn't be opposed to the company."​