How to save a life {Blazestar}

[~Deersong~]

( ♬ ) She stands like a hesitant ghost just outside of Blazestars den, her legs trembling in grief and guilt. She stands there silent as if trying to prolong the inevitable before seeming to deflate and meowing softly into the den. "Blaze? Can I come in?..."

She waits for some semblance of confirmation before stepping inside and the sight before her breaks her heart all over again. Her beloved leader, a shell that was covered in cracks and empty. Her lip quivers as she grits her teeth against her tears, but seeing him like this only breaks whatever reserve she had placed together outside as her legs give out beneath her and she buries her face in the ground before her friend, "I'm so sorry Blaze. I'm so sorry." Deersong sobs as she wails, "I shouldn't have- I should have stopped him- I....I'm so..."

Her voice cracked, and the guilt that was crushing her laid bare for her leader to see as her shoulders shuddered with her sobs. Her own apprentices had killed her friend's kit. How could she ever look into Blazestars' eyes again? "Please..." She whimpers as she remains plastered to the ground, a gesture of pure remorse and apology, "I will understand if I can no longer be your deputy. If you give Snowpaw a new mentor. Just, please...Please punish me."

//
@BLAZESTAR
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( LET YOU BREAK; MY HEART AGAIN )

 

[BLAZESTAR]

╭── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──╮​

"Blaze? Can I come in?"

He has too many visitors these days, and all of them are in some way there out of obligation. He's already tired of the condolences, though he doesn't begrudge any cat for offering them. He knows that's what one does, right? He had to do it for Squallmist when his brother died, when his father died, too. Many cats here have lost someone close to them, blood kin or fictive, like Deersong losing Coyotepaw, but to bury a daughter before she's even five moons old--

He answers her flatly. "Yes." At first he can't place the voice, but it's his deputy who enters, her blue-green eyes glassy with tears.

Blazestar stares at her, and tears begin to cover his own stormy blue gaze with a glassy sheen. "Punish you?" He whispers, his voice hoarse. "Why would I punish you, Deersong? You did not hurt Morningpaw." His jaw trembles. "This is not your fault."

Who is it he blames? He still doesn't know. Snowpaw's claws were wet with Morningpaw's blood, but he had meant the blow for a ThunderClanner, not his kin. Too caught up in defending what he thought to be SkyClan's. Enforcing borders he had helped establish.

"This isn't your fault, Deersong. It's... it's not even..." He looks away. His voice grows hoarse. "It's mine."

- ,,​

​

 

[~Deersong~]

( ♬ ) Deersong would hear him, but her only response would be to shake her head rapidly in quick denial. A few more broken sobs leave her chest as she finally looks up at her leader, her friend, and the sight of him only weighs heavier on her soul. Heaving herself up to her paws, she would take a few shakey steps towards Blazestar before carefully sitting beside him and pressing against his side.

She doesn't know what else to say, how else she could express her regret and her guilt, so instead, she stays quiet, crying openly beside her friends and lightly touching her nose to his shoulder in an effort to at least try to comfort him. After several heartbeats Deersong would finally speak once more, "I don't believe I deserve to be your deputy after everything that has happened. But..." She would look to her leader and meow softly, "If you want me to stay with you then I will. You can depend on me for anything you need, ok?..." ​

( LET YOU BREAK; MY HEART AGAIN )