- Sep 29, 2023
- 105
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LOVE PSALM | ASHENFALL
- Thread starter ASHENFALL
- Start date
- Sep 29, 2023
- 105
- 27
- 28
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(DEADNAME)KITASHENKITASHENPAWASHENFALL ;
⤷ ASHEN. adj. Of the pale gray color of ash ; An homage to his resemblance to his father. FALL. adj. A sudden uncontrollable descent ; A reminder that to fall is not to fail, and for the resilience to rise again.
— transmasculine; he/him ; accepts masculine and neutral terms ; gay, monogamist, taken
— shadowclan queen; never dreamed of living anywhere else ; marsh group heritage
— created 9.30.23 at 6 moons / ages every 17th
— penned by eezy
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A stout longhaired blue torbie with heterochromatic blue and amber eyes.
On paper, Ashenfall was the spitting image of his mother, a dilute torbie with long, silken fur and a face halved between soft blue tabby and amber, with heterochromatic eyes to perfectly mis-match. But, Halfshade had spawned quite a handful of little clones, and this particular prototype could not claim to be her closest. Branching tabby stripes map across the expanse of his thick fur, ashen blue and muted cream dappling pale and puddling across his flank and tail. Though not negligent with his grooming, Ashenfall maintains some level of cowlicked scruffiness despite the silken assumed-luxuriousness of his mottled pelt. Most notable would be his thistle-like ruff of fur around his neck/chest area, which remains fluffy after following any attempts to smooth it down.
His stature is unassuming, notable by comparison being the smallest of his litter, and being amongst the smaller half of his clan. The shortness is something of an embarrassment factor to him, but he would not be considered tiny, nor frail by those describing him. Somewhat of a late bloomer, in the latter half of his apprenticeship Ashenfall filled out in his adolescence, and appears to have inherited some of his sire's stockiness, with broad shoulders and a compact sort of strength to him. His posture is low and defensive, plumy tail sweeping close to his body more often than not, and while he is not quite so hunched-in on himself as he was in his youth, Ashenfall maintains a slinky, weasel-like shuffle to his step.
Ashenfall arguably looks like both of his parents in equal parts, but Smogstar's shadow is seen most on his face. His resting expression is grim and downcast, with a dim-lit smolder behind flickering pale amber and blue eyes. The shadow doesn't stay, though (none do). He lacks the stoicism needed to maintain that mask of disdain, too quickly lighting up with the fire of temper and too quickly melting beneath emotionality. Altogether appearing too shifty to be imposing in any way.
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At the surface, he may have come off as something of a shit-stirrer, disagreeing with peers on impulse and playing devil's-advocate for the sake of riling others up. In his youth, he found interest in provoking out reactions from those around him. When faced with real confrontation, however, he shrunk away and deflected, and made no real effort to legitimately defend himself. His demeanor remained abrasive throughout much of his adolescence, tampered down with a near-perpetual sulkiness. His mood changes were tide-fickle and frequent, but nearly always would he end up settling onto a baseline of "feeling low". This was a point of contention between him and some of his family, unable to and almost rebelliously unwilling to hide his feelings for the sake of maintaining appearances, wielding his emotionality like a gas-flame lantern.
WIP!!
MANNERISMS
- expressive, wears his emotions on his face
- has a tendency to speak without thinking, speech pattern becomes clipped and disjointed when excitable.
- quick to point out perceived discrepancies, will speak out of turn if he thinks someone is being dishonest.
LOVES
- his family
- quiet, foggy days walking amongst wet foliage
- cuddling/naps
FEARS
- divine judgment
- medicine cats
- abandonment
- the thunderpath
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HALFSHADExx smogstar sibling toapplejaw, garlicheart, swansong, halfsun, and laurelgrin
mentoring no one
previously mentored bysnakefootsmogstar
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► SONG NAME - artist
SONG NAME - artist
SONG NAME - artist
SONG NAME - artist
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posting template
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- Sep 29, 2023
- 105
- 27
- 28
ART GALLERY
ASHENKIT - ASHENPAW : he/him ; afab transmasc – On paper, Ashenpaw is the spitting image of his mother, a dilute torbie with long, silken fur and a face halved between soft blue tabby and amber, with heterochromatic eyes to perfectly mis-match. But, even with all these boxes checked, it will be immediately clear to anyone who knew Halfshade that her small clone's visual similarities to her end there. His appearance, in comparison to the memory of her unique vibrancy, seems dull and muted, grey and beige tabby patched carelessly upon his body and his eyes pale and darting. He lives as a hollowed mirror of her, lacking her mesmerizing confidence or self-assured poise. Ashenpaw prefers to slink along the periphery, tail never held higher than a 180-degree angle from his body, and eyes shifting away from prolonged contact. He is conventionally attractive, by the blessing of his mother's genes, but there is a dreariness in his aura that offsets any potential inherent magnetism, perhaps he'd gotten that from his father.
─ (adult) voiceclaim: L Lawliet (Death Note)
─ 6 moons ; ages every 17th : SMOGMAW xxHALFSHADE ; littermate to SWANPAW, APPLEPAW, and GARLICPAW, older sibling to DREAMKIT, HALFKIT, TANGLEKIT, and BIRDKIT ; apprentice of shadowclan
✦ envious, fatalistic, sullen, sensitive, attention-seeking, defensive, prone to outbursts, people-pleasing, generous, hedonistic, intelligent, clingy, dramatic
─ At the surface, he may come off as something of a shit-stirrer, disagreeing with peers on impulse and playing devil's-advocate for the sake of riling others up and drawing attention. He'll poke fun at and provoke cats to draw out a reaction, only to scurry away and insist that "he wasn't being serious" and to, "relax, you're being craaazy" when someone comes to get their bite back. When faced with real confrontation, however, he will shrink away and deflect, and he will have trouble legitimately defending himself.
─ Ashenpaw has a rather fatalistic approach to life, often feeling out of control and at the whim of a destiny that has been predetermined. He will come off surprisingly jaded for his age, and almost completely lacks optimism.
─ His moods seem to be at the mercy of the wind, shifting constantly and turning sour at the drop of a hat. Those closest to him will unfortunately face the brunt of his outbursts, especially his siblings and his father, who he is most sensitive to the judgment of. He will spend much of his time appealing to them and trying to cuddle his way into their good graces but snap and self-destruct at any perceived rejection from them, cursing and insulting them only to return the next day as if nothing happened.
─ One may recognize the hollowed-out pit that sits unmoved within himself, it only drives his every action and shadows every thought. Completely taken by a spirit of envy, Ashenpaw is possessed by want. His wants do not manifest in material objects, though, they reside largely in the realm of other cats. He wants others' skills, their appearances, their passions, their friends, to the point he may not stop to consider why it is he wants so badly what he cannot have.
─ Most notably, Ashenpaw covets the affection of others most, longing for an uninhibited and unconditional love he attributes to the passing of his mother.
─ He regards the stars with the same hot-and-cold embrace that he holds everyone else with, flipping between cursing them for their impersonal, twinkling disregard for him and his needs and other times sending crooning prayers and begging for their forgiveness.
─ Ashenpaw wants so badly to be imbued with the grace of his idolized, unreachable mother, to be someone filled with poise and worthy of unquestionable respect, but such a thing is difficult for someone like him—who is a small boat governed by the oceanic tide of ever-shifting emotion. He holds a lot of resentment for himself, his impulsiveness and ill-temperedness lead him to be a pain in the ass to be around, to say the least, which is unfortunate when all he really wants is to be liked.
─ As he grows older and learns to get ahold of himself and his emotions, Ashenpaw will attempt to craft a persona for himself that's worthy of respect, someone cool-tempered and confident, perhaps sarcastic but no longer explosive. Unfortunately, as a cat raised in Shadowclan from birth, he will not have the privilege of making a good first impression, so his carefully constructed mask may be quite easy to read through by that point.
✦ motifs and aesthetics.
─ whispers exchanged over library books, fog rolling in over marsh, a dropped glass that bounces once... twice... before shattering, waterlogged swan feathers, the whistle of a tea kettle, worn photographs of a woman you've never met, stopping to make a wish before blowing out a candle, being alone at the bus stop wondering if you've gotten yourself lost, throwing your diary into the fireplace in a fit of frustration, the gnawing feeling that you've been misunderstood by someone with no way of rectifying it
─ playlist ! & pinterest !
✦ misc.
─ (if allowed) he will have a very tumultuous relationship with smogmaw, seemingly simultaneously longing for his affection and approval while also explicitly resenting him and assuming that he dislikes him for one reason or another. This may be eventually resolved in adulthood !
─ much of his plot and development plans are centered around his turbulent and unhealthy relationships with those around him and thus he's subject to changes through ic development!
─ artistic reference by tropics
─ unfinished !
─ (adult) voiceclaim: L Lawliet (Death Note)
─ 6 moons ; ages every 17th : SMOGMAW xx
✦ envious, fatalistic, sullen, sensitive, attention-seeking, defensive, prone to outbursts, people-pleasing, generous, hedonistic, intelligent, clingy, dramatic
─ At the surface, he may come off as something of a shit-stirrer, disagreeing with peers on impulse and playing devil's-advocate for the sake of riling others up and drawing attention. He'll poke fun at and provoke cats to draw out a reaction, only to scurry away and insist that "he wasn't being serious" and to, "relax, you're being craaazy" when someone comes to get their bite back. When faced with real confrontation, however, he will shrink away and deflect, and he will have trouble legitimately defending himself.
─ Ashenpaw has a rather fatalistic approach to life, often feeling out of control and at the whim of a destiny that has been predetermined. He will come off surprisingly jaded for his age, and almost completely lacks optimism.
─ His moods seem to be at the mercy of the wind, shifting constantly and turning sour at the drop of a hat. Those closest to him will unfortunately face the brunt of his outbursts, especially his siblings and his father, who he is most sensitive to the judgment of. He will spend much of his time appealing to them and trying to cuddle his way into their good graces but snap and self-destruct at any perceived rejection from them, cursing and insulting them only to return the next day as if nothing happened.
─ One may recognize the hollowed-out pit that sits unmoved within himself, it only drives his every action and shadows every thought. Completely taken by a spirit of envy, Ashenpaw is possessed by want. His wants do not manifest in material objects, though, they reside largely in the realm of other cats. He wants others' skills, their appearances, their passions, their friends, to the point he may not stop to consider why it is he wants so badly what he cannot have.
─ Most notably, Ashenpaw covets the affection of others most, longing for an uninhibited and unconditional love he attributes to the passing of his mother.
─ He regards the stars with the same hot-and-cold embrace that he holds everyone else with, flipping between cursing them for their impersonal, twinkling disregard for him and his needs and other times sending crooning prayers and begging for their forgiveness.
─ Ashenpaw wants so badly to be imbued with the grace of his idolized, unreachable mother, to be someone filled with poise and worthy of unquestionable respect, but such a thing is difficult for someone like him—who is a small boat governed by the oceanic tide of ever-shifting emotion. He holds a lot of resentment for himself, his impulsiveness and ill-temperedness lead him to be a pain in the ass to be around, to say the least, which is unfortunate when all he really wants is to be liked.
─ As he grows older and learns to get ahold of himself and his emotions, Ashenpaw will attempt to craft a persona for himself that's worthy of respect, someone cool-tempered and confident, perhaps sarcastic but no longer explosive. Unfortunately, as a cat raised in Shadowclan from birth, he will not have the privilege of making a good first impression, so his carefully constructed mask may be quite easy to read through by that point.
✦ motifs and aesthetics.
─ whispers exchanged over library books, fog rolling in over marsh, a dropped glass that bounces once... twice... before shattering, waterlogged swan feathers, the whistle of a tea kettle, worn photographs of a woman you've never met, stopping to make a wish before blowing out a candle, being alone at the bus stop wondering if you've gotten yourself lost, throwing your diary into the fireplace in a fit of frustration, the gnawing feeling that you've been misunderstood by someone with no way of rectifying it
─ playlist ! & pinterest !
✦ misc.
─ (if allowed) he will have a very tumultuous relationship with smogmaw, seemingly simultaneously longing for his affection and approval while also explicitly resenting him and assuming that he dislikes him for one reason or another. This may be eventually resolved in adulthood !
─ much of his plot and development plans are centered around his turbulent and unhealthy relationships with those around him and thus he's subject to changes through ic development!
─ artistic reference by tropics
─ unfinished !
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