private I AM JUST A FREAK ♡ Fernpaw

[Petalnose]

Petalnose didn't exactly know how to approach the journeying cats. A simple welcome home had left her lungs and nothing more; An attempt to express her somewhat positive outlook on their return. They were all alive.. unharmed unless Dovethroat had suffered injuries. She was grateful even though the exhaustion and grief muddied her scarred face and tone. Fernpaw had seemed to express his grief the most. It was what she had expected. The tabby was always in tune to his heart it seemed. It tore her the most seeing the once shining bright light suffer in sobs. She would normally leave cats alone to grieve as Petalnose was one to tend to hide her pain even to Aspenhaze in some cases. However, she remembered how grateful Fernpaw seemed to have company at his shoulder. He grieved differently she would think. Atleast she would hope her advances to the ginger tabby were appreciated.

"Fernpaw." Petalnose announced as her eyes settled upon the ginger tom, pushing through the reeds with her tail erect to show her friendly intentions. "Fish with me, yes? I want to hear your story." Her head tipped in the direction of the river, there was about the same urgency as there was in her tone as a patrol. Hopeful to get his energy. Hopeful to distract him. Hopeful that he didn't mind the distraction. She hadn't worried if she had been pushed away, calmness striking her posture, however she was hopeful.

@FERNPAW

Tags​

 

[FERNGILL]

Petalnose had, oddly, frequented Fernpaw's thoughts quite often during the journey. More than once he'd considered that her guidance would have been nice to have, and- he missed her. He had missed everyone, of course, but when he had been asked about cats who he was excited to see, he'd thought about the lead warrior fairly often. More than she knew, she'd helped him when he'd lost sight in his eye. When he'd been healing from his own awful mistake. Many had reached out to help mend him, and it had been unexpected from Petalnose back then- and maybe that was why it had meant a lot. Or, maybe they were just friends.

Yeah, friends. It sounded right, despite how she was many moons his senior and had the power to tell him to pick ticks out of elders' pelts whenever she felt like it. But he'd call them friends, even through the blinding pain that clung to him as she spoke to him, even though the smile on his face struggled to stay put.

Trying to maintain eye-contact, a brittle purr left him at her offer. "That sounds nice." Bland, bland words. But they creaked out of him with earnest, and his whiskers twitched a bit as his memory reached out to the past few moons. A silken tail of sunset-blaze beckoned her to sit beside him. It was nice not to focus on what he'd failed to do, on everything he wasn't... he'd start to recount what had happened, what he had accomplished.

"I don't even know where to start." The laugh that left him was a little hollow, but not without mirth. "There was so much... so much. But... some of it, I..." The caves. The dustiness, the walls closing in. It got worse every time he remembered it. "Some of it I don't want to talk about. Some of it was horrible."​

✦ penned by pin ✦​

 

[Petalnose]

Fernpaw was one to concern Petalnose during the volunteer system, but she still had faith in the Tom. Iciclefang was there to guide him if things didn't go right and she was sure Fernpaw had enough determination to pull through. Pride overclouded the concern, happy the younger feline had a chance to prove himself. Unharmed he returned and all the others, it had filled her with relief.

Petalnose settled beside him at the acceptance, ready eyes scanning the waters as she listened. She listened to him stumble for a moment, pulling her eyes upon him again. "Boundaries are fine to set forth, Fernpaw. Simply don't tell me what you don't want to share. Stumbling over words towards other felines will make them press further." Her tone was firm but of reassurance and of good manner, "You don't even have to tell me anything and change the subject." She added and then paused to give him a chance to react, bending down near the river waters to stare upon the approaching shadow, "Start near the beginning, tell me an experience that was good if you have any. Something that effected you positively… That's if you want to." She urged, flicking her tail in aim to tap his shoulder in a playful manner. Anxiety in conversation.. she didn’t understand it. Fernpaw was willing to please, a trait that she understood to an extent but a healthy balance she believed was needed. Fear of disappointment she was sure he was avoiding to the best, but Petalnose didn’t feel much would change her outlook upon him. Even if she had to scold him of a matter.

Tags​

 

[FERNGILL]

She was quite wise, wasn't she? Fernpaw felt as if, even in this odd semi-adulthood, that he was often struck with such sentiments. Maybe everyone around him felt wise because he wasn't. Or, maybe Petalnose just was. Wither way, her words struck him quite deeply.

He didn't have to ask permission to not be okay with something. Didn't have to ask if it was alright if he skirted around talking about the caves because thinking about them suddenly made breathing difficult. Grateful, he gave the lead warrior an encouraged smile, accompanied with the smallest twinge of emotion. Her stern words had touched his heart. "I won't, then!" A proud smile settled on his maw. He didn't owe regaling that experience to anyone, even the people he liked.

Despite the grief that clung to his soul, he could settle on the details quite well thanks to Steepsnout. Maybe that was the gift she'd given him in their final conversation together; a mind usually scatterbrained and messy, thanks to her request, had been able to latch onto things he would have otherwise forgotten. To her soul, he prayed in a blink a mere fragment of gratefulness for that.

"One of the first things we came across was a river." He looked to the water at his paws, familiar and cherished, as he described it. "It was fast and wide, but no problem for a Riverclanner. But- we didn't have time to teach the other Clan cats to swim."

A smile began to creep across his face. "There was a Twoleg bridge, but it was broken. The Riverclanners worked together to drag one end to shore so that the other Clans could cross." His shoulders rolled with a wistful sigh. "I saved a Skyclanner who fell in. And... and it felt like I was a warrior."

Fighting a fox had not been that moment. Battling at Sunningrocks had not been that moment. Pinning his father in a spar, at last, had not even been that moment.​

✦ penned by pin ✦​

 

[Petalnose]

The encouraged smile and chipper remark caused her own lips to quirk to the side. The enthusiasm and light she had saw within him had shown, satisfaction creeping into her emotions. "That's what I like to hear." Petalnose stated with a gleam of pride to her eyes, a playful flick of her tail aiming towards his shoulder. She hadn't expected the tom to react well to her firm words, so the opposing reaction was almost enough to internally flinch in surprise. The personality of Fernpaw was one to make her soften. Still, harshness she was ever capable of no matter the relationship, but a more controlled touch she took to the tom. The light she saw within him she didn't tend to smother, and it seemed the firm words had made him brighter.

A story he started, and she silently listened. Riverclan had seemed to earn a worthy demonstration for their ability and strength, she tipped her head in interest. Then an unexpected heroic touch, Fernpaw had saved a life of another clan. Her expression lacked movement, but a prideful trill touched her tongue, "I bet they'll remember you for many moons and remember the strength of our clan through you."

Quickly and carefully Petalnose leaned forward and struck, hooking a Carp with her claws before catching it between her jaws in a quick kill. She set it down beside them, looking over Fernpaw curiously, "The prey; what lies up there? Any impressing stories of catches?" She asked, licking away the remaining blood upon her maw.

Tags​

 

[FERNGILL]

Remembering the strength of RiverClan through him- it sounded too good to be true. And he hadn't been the sole hero of that day, far from it- but he knew he'd always be someone that had done something good. Something heroic, when it was needed- he'd not let anyone die. If that brought glory to his name, or to RiverClan's name, then so be it. What had mattered then was that Bobbie hadn't died.

He supposed that was a mark of where he'd matured. It had taken long enough, but...

Prey, stories of catches- Fernpaw was silent only for a few moments as he waded through his memories, arriving on one that had the Riverclanners showing everyone up again. "Yeah, y'know- I actually had to learn to land hunt up there," he said, fairly proud that he'd managed it. "Mudpelt's never taught me, he said he was no good at it himself,"

Fernpaw clicked his tongue, thoughtful for a moment. "Lots of mice. Lots and lots of them. Rabbits, too, but I never caught one of those." He laughed a little at the memory that presented itself. "Once we went on a hunting trip, and Iciclefang and I were the only cats who caught anything. And it wasn't even fishing!"​

✦ penned by pin ✦​