i am the conscience clear ☆ fam

[Skunktail]

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He won't lie and say he knows how he's supposed to act about this, he's going through the motions of being calm and collected but inside he is a storm; thunderous and rampaging, flooding him with emotions he has not often had to face so directly. When Briarstar died, when Pitchstar died, he could take comfort in having been there, at knowing they would be waiting for him in StarClan when the time finally came, but with Porcupine she was an outsider. She would not be in StarClan, she had rejected the clans and left to live the life of a loner right before they formed. He'd never see her again and the realization left him feeling hollow and uncertain. The black and white tom takes a deep breath as he finally turns to face the trio, a tentative smile across his maw, "...now that I'm looking more closely I can see her in each of you. Little bits here and there, it's almost like she came back in a way..."
Their relationship had been more than a little complicated, close friends raised alongside one another in the very same nursery of their camp now. He remembered their mothers were close enough you might call them friends as well, it only made sense for their kits to get along. Eventually they realized how alike they were in demeanor and personality, both bold and loud about their feelings and pushing against any authority that crossed their paths, what tangled the web of their lives further was they shared a distaste for committing to anything so the relationship they had was strained and as fragile as a spider's silk - threatening to snap at any moment.

And snap it did, she pulled away from him right when he thought they'd gotten close enough he could consider it being something more, something long lasting. The great war waged, StarClan formed and the colonies began to split in seperate groups and he thinks it scared her. She had never said as much, but the change distrupted her sense of self enough she left that very night and he'd only gotten to say goodbye because he noticed her doing so. If he had not been awake, would he have even known she hadn't just gone missing? Skunktail sighs quietly, "I'm not really...exactly what you'd call parent material, but I want to try. I wish I had gotten to see you grow up, I wish I had known." He wasn't even sure what would change, would he have accepted it? Would he have cowardly fled the responsibility? He couldn't promise he would have been a great father, he had no idea if would've been, but he can promise now to do his best. It's all he had.
"Wishing won't get us anywhere though, we just have to...keep going. It's just us now then. You don't have any younger siblings, I never took a mate..." His spearmint gaze drifts, visions of white fur and cold eyes in his mind, "...well...for now..."
He clears his throat, "You do have cousins though, my sister Starlingheart's kits." ...some of them. "Nettlepaw and Flintpaw."

☆ ———— promise me she's not your world ☆ ———————— 'Cause Andy, you're a star

• @pipit !! & @Hawk & @SNIPE
• 
  
  
  Skunktail
  —⊰⋅ Warrior of ShadowClan
  —⊰⋅ He/Him
  "SPEECH", 'THOUGHTS', ATTACK
  —⊰⋅ SH Black & white tom w/spearmint green eyes
  

​

 

[pipitclaw !!]

It's a bit odd to be under scrutiny, even if Skunktail's gaze is not meant to rake through like claws. He is searching their eyes, their faces, the scars on their chocolate and road-pitch coats... for a sign of something familiar, for something that is his. Something he lost. And he says so, in the shines of their eyes they are her... in their shadowy silhouettes they are not so far off from him too... Pipit perks his ears as his father turns to face them again, a voice softened by carelessly handled information. He hadn't realized the truth would rattle him so much, but Snipe and Hawk had- it was evident in the way his brothers had done everything but slap him upside the head at the border. "I hope so..." There is a hollowness in his voice that does not match his smile. He wanted to live for her... on her behalf.. do the things she wanted to do and had missed the chance to.

They had to be.... the best for her. They had no choice now.

Uncertainly he peers at his siblings with fire-gold eyes, hoping their presence might encourage the shy kid that stood at the forefront of his mind to find Pipit. That he wouldn't sit here as Pipsqueak, too nervous to reassure his father they did not resent him, were eager to know him. He flexes his toes in the dirt, grounding himself and searching for his words.

"Ehh... growing ups nothing exciting," he offers, thinking it helpful though he knows its probably not. "Everyone does it." His grin doesn't falter, growing more excited as the conversation swings towards the future, towards their family they had yet to discover and fully immerse themselves in.

A mischievous twinkle dances across his eyes at the suggestion of a 'for now'. It is not a promise... but it is a suggestion of hesitation. He is thinking of someone surely.. and PIpit is dying to know. "For now... heheh... Well, feel free to get me some cool little brothers and sisters anytime! These ones won't be callin' me PIpsqueak," he announces, shooting his siblings a playful glare.

"Starlingheart and Nettlepaw and Flintpaw,"he echoes, committing their names to memory. "What about your parents? Are they still here? Can we see them?" The concept of having elders seemed outlandish when his mother couldn't even survive into their adulthood. "Were you ever a 'paw'? Oh, it's kind of funny we are birds alike Starlingheart huh? Did our mother know her?"​

 

[SNIPETHORN]

The marshland is foreign and uncomfortable. The trio of brothers are distrusted by every cat who gazes upon them and the cats of ShadowClan were not shy to make that known. It was difficult to want to stick around and earn the trust of those who made it clear if they stood in Chilledstar’s place they would’ve told Snipe and his kin to scram. But… this is where their father resided, and not only that- but more kin too as they were taught.

Pipit talks and talks, that being what Pipit of course, was best at. He screws his nose at the idea of younger siblings, ”Speak for yourself, I’m drowning in enough new kin!” He scoffs, though light-heartedly.

He too absorbs the names of his kin, he would have to meet them sometime soon. He about wants to smack Pipit upside the head for asking about Skunktail’s parents, he had not mentioned them which is enough for Snipe to assume they were likely long dead. He shoots his brother a look but nothing more, ”Was Porcupine not a popular cat?” He asks slightly abruptly, though it was difficult for him to think of his mother as someone who’d be disliked. ”I had been expecting a warmer welcome, especially when they learned who we are kin to.” Though it had been a foolish hope… clan cats always had been uptight.

🗡️ INFO BATTLE

• » Snipe
  » Loner
  » He/him
  » A heavily-scarred chocolate tom-cat with amber eyes.
  » "Speech" ․ thoughts ․ attack
  
• » A foe who uses brute strength and hits heavy.
  » Excels in taking opponents head-on.
  » Uses slow but powerful hits to bring them to the ground.
  » Fights to overpower and defeat .
  » May powerplay minor harm. Can powerplay healing

​

 

[Hawkstride]

★ ★ ★ It was safe to say that Skunktail was not the only one of them that was having a hard time adjusting to the idea of newfound family. Only days ago they had been entirely on their own, mourning the loss of their mother and wondering at what to do next. Now they sat in the midst of Shadowclan's camp, chatting rather casually with their father and learning about all the new relatives they'd acquired. It was... certainly a lot, to say the least.

He felt oddly uncomfortable as Skunktail assessed them, his gaze searching for something more than he likely saw. But to hear that they resembled their mother, even if only a little bit... it made his heart pound fondly in his chest. They reminded their father of Porcupine, but that also meant that a piece of her would always be with them as well. A soft smile traced his lips as the ghost of her face lingered in his mind. "Good."

He almost chuckled at Skunktail's admission that he wasn't really 'parent' material, but he quickly covered it with a cough, a crooked smile lingering in its place. "You don't need to worry about that, we're pretty much raised at this point." He didn't mean to sound harsh, but truthfully, the formative moons of their lives were over now. What they really needed was a support system. "We're happy just getting to know you now." Even if it were twelve moons late, it was better than never.

The ebony tom shifted his weight slightly to lean back as his brothers took the lead, asking a heap of questions. Pipit's were invasive and numerous as per usual, and Snipe's were a bit more cynical but he had to admit, he was curious about that last one as well. Long tufted ears perked in anticipation of the answer; why were they met with such a cold greeting? It seemed to him that the return of one of Shadowclan's warrior's long-lost children would warrent a bit more fanfare, or at the very least, more warmth. "I was actually wondering that too. Is it normal to greet newcomers in that manner?" He'd figured the clans to be more friendly than the loners he was used to. He had questions of his own that he wanted to ask, but he didn't want to overwhelm Skunktail; might as well let the poor cat answer the multitude of other queries first.

 

[Skunktail]

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They were all named after birds, it didn't really surprise him but when it was pointed out a brief flicker of delight crossed his face because Porcupine did like birds quite a bit. Enjoyed their songs, loved to line her nest with their feathers, she even hesitated to eat them out of some sense of guilt that the music ended but she got over that quickly when prey grew more scarce. Pipit's question of his own parents gave him a brief pause but he shook his head slowly as he formulated a reply that was not too morbid, while Hawk was correct in that they were already too old to be regarded as kits, he still felt himself apprehensive to burden them with something as dark as his mother's passing, "My father died during the battle, Briarstar went shortly after in an accident on the thunderpath."
His eyes closed and then opened with a rapid blink and he chuckled, "I was never a 'paw'. Was old enough to be named Skunktail the moment the clans were formed. Me and my brothers." Pitchsun, Chittertongue, Nightswarm - Pitchsun would become Pitchstar not too long after and then die almost as horrifically as Briarstar did. He wonders if its a trend.

"There aren't many still around who remember Porcupine, some of us went to other clans during the split of the colonies and its been such a long time I don't think her memory was as well guarded as within my own thoughts." It wasn't out of malice to the former marsh colony cat, it was just cats moving on and ShadowClan as a whole.
"...unfortunately that is how ShadowClan just is normally." He said with a tight clenching of his jaw and a flick of his tail across the cold ground. They had never exactly been a clan of warmth and compassion, frigid at the core and holding one another at arms length and even with the murderous traitors in their midsts cast out they still held an air of aloofness he longed to see gone one day.
"I promise you're wanted though, at the very least by me and your other kin here. Don't let them treat you like outsiders, you belong her as much as any other cat, colony blood and from the same line as our founder. If anyone gives you trouble just tell me."

☆ ———— promise me she's not your world ☆ ———————— 'Cause Andy, you're a star

•  
• 
  
  
  Skunktail
  —⊰⋅ Warrior of ShadowClan
  —⊰⋅ He/Him
  "SPEECH", 'THOUGHTS', ATTACK
  —⊰⋅ SH Black & white tom w/spearmint green eyes
  

​

 

[SNIPETHORN]

Snipe absorbs his father’s words in great detail. Perhaps that is why the brother’s hadn’t gotten the warm welcome they had been expecting, with so much change and new cats there were few ShadowClan members around anymore to remember Porcupine. Still, you would think having a well-regarded sire would be enough? The way of the clans perplex Snipe, he’ll have a lot to learn if he wants to be one with them someday.

It dissatisfies him to hear that ShadowClan is typically like this, cold and aloof. Skunktail makes it sound as if all warrior’s experience this coldness regardless of how long they’ve been within the clan. Immediately he looks to Pipit and Hawk to gauge their reactions, he thought Porcupine wanted them here so they wouldn’t have to brace the cold lives of loners? For companionship? Skunktail assures them they’ll have their kin and thought distant, their clan no matter what, but still Snipe is evidently off-put.

”Porcupine made it sound… different. Easier.” To put it politely, ”It couldn’t have been always like this?” Still, regardless of the answer Snipe was here now. According to Porcupine this is where they belonged and Skunktail seemed like a fine cat. In time he’d acclimate, whether the cats of ShadowClan liked it or not he would become one of them.

🗡️ INFO BATTLE

• » Snipe
  » ShadowClan Warrior (in-the-making)
  » He/him
  » A heavily-scarred chocolate tom-cat with amber eyes.
  » "Speech" ․ thoughts ․ attack
  
• » A foe who uses brute strength and hits heavy.
  » Excels in taking opponents head-on.
  » Uses slow but powerful hits to bring them to the ground.
  » Fights to overpower and defeat .
  » May powerplay minor harm. Can powerplay healing

​