Gestures were reciprocated, and it took all of Ferndance's strength to not melt into a puddle right there. Each nuzzle sparked an inferno within her veins, demanding a response, demanding her to prove she loved him just as much - what were once tentative brushes against his neck became firmer. Less like a cat checking to see if something was real, more like a cat who wanted to grip onto reality for fear it would slip out of their grasp. The time would come when it would disperse, they would go back to their clans and act as if nothing had ever happened. She would not be alone, her family and her love remained with her... but how much sweeter the world would be if she did not have to hide a part of herself. Her elaboration bore fruit, relief, and in a saccharine purr, she deadpanned, "You may be a ghost, but I'll be your boo - because I'm good at scaring children."
A lie, spoken with a signature smile and coyish eyes. She was not good at scaring children, they were the only creatures that walked the earth that she found little entertainment in frightening. Little fibs and tall tales often had a way of becoming bloody, but, there had been no such need to pretend when the circumstances of their birth had been so horrible. Her honesty with her kin had not been to make them hate their home, or anxiously pace at the thought of the outside world, but to know that she would not lie to them when the time came to talk about their father. They deserved to know it was a beautiful soul that sired them, one free of judgment and full of weird (and weird was all the tabby had wanted before she discovered how caring the RiverClanner was). He pauses at Bonekit, and Ferndance feels the need to elaborate.
"Bloodkit, she looks like a tiger, with one little bitty tooth hanging out. Snowykit, she's all black, with white flecks on her cheeks like snow... Needledrift named her. She also named Shadekit, they're... like me, but darker... like the colour of dark wood. Then, there's Bonekit... silver like you... but with stripes like mine..." And your eyes. She was about to remind him when she recalled something else. "They're not kits though... sorry, it's become a habit... They're... 'paws now, apprentices. Chilledstar let them leave the Nursery early." Ferndance was sure it was a response to Frostbite's collapse; an apprentice would never eat first, and if ShadowClan felt the pinch of Leafbare enough to break the code, she felt conflicted speaking up against it. Discourse had smoothed down the burrs on her tongue, but... should she need to hunt four times as much as she normally did to ensure their kittens did not starve, Ferndance would do it in a heartbeat.
Eyes stared into eyes during their silence, and then, Ferndance's world flipped. Before she could blink, shoulders were pinned against the Fourtree grounds, and the purrs in her ear were so loud she swore they shook the very trees that shielded their meeting. I love you. It was fairytale, almost. Two cats from different clans, finding love despite the wars that rage on and on. She'd have laughed at such a statement before, finding it too sweet, finding it too normal, but... the butterflies in her stomach did not place her on a pedestal above such normalcies. A paw raised to bat Pikesplash on the head teasingly, before moving it to bat gently on the dead leaves that had likely attacked his front in their tussle. "I know you love me.. you found me again after all this time, didn't you? I thought you would be a memory, it's been so long and I said so little, I'm... sorry I could not see you sooner." It was easy to believe that, had it been her choice, she would've snuck out and let Needledrift babysit. "I love you too," she whispered.
It was as if the quiet voice had caused an avalanche, She had been the cat that got Pikesplash's tongue, and committed him to an awe-filled silence (she'd never thought herself capable of such power), but, he had shaken it off. He spoke and spoke, poured his heart out in ways that made Ferndance the one who found herself speechless. Vulnerability was new to the cinnamon tabby, it hurt, but that pain built trust. She believed Pikesplash when he said he loved her, she believed him when he said she was beautiful, believed it when he said he loved the kittens he could never know. Just as she felt tears welling in her eyes, she struggled to imagine a world where Pikesplash did not have the same - they both wanted something they could never have. Ferndance tried to deflect from the feeling. "If your head is spinning you should speak to your medicine cat, that's... that's not a good sign... You can't die before you meet your kits," She smiled impishly, and with it, the gravity of the confession reached her.
'Mating stone... he wants to be my mate.' "I thrive on weirdness, instead of shying away from it, you embraced it. It's hard not to be attracted to that," she assured him with a purr. ShadowClan toms had set the bar low, for parents and for partners, but it didn't mean her standards had been lowered for Pikesplash. He seemed like the perfect tom, a catch for anyone lucky enough to know who he was behind the awkwardness; she felt lucky to see just a piece of his life, let alone cradle it within her paws. She bunted her head against his, then, began grooming his cheek. Between the rasps came her answer, Ferndance trilled so much it was hard to get a word out. "I will be your mate, Pikesplash." RiverClanner or ShadowClanner, she was certain Needledrift would approve - just as she priortised her mates' happiness, she knew Needledrift would prioritise hers too.
