private I JUST SAW A PIECE OF ME DIE — fireflypaw, howlfire

[BLAZESTAR]

Blazestar sags into his nest, feeling every bit like a cat who’d lost not one, but two lives. His paws are weary, and all he wants to do now, crusted in poultices, is sleep for the remainder of leafbare. But he’s sent for Fireflypaw, for Howlfire, and when their shadows darken the entrance of his den, he trills softly to indicate they should enter. “I know you’re both busy, so we’ll make this quick.” He shifts, his tail drawn close to his body. Bobbie is elsewhere, attending to her lead warrior duties—it’s only him and his kits, the oldest of his first litter and the youngest, the medicine cat apprentice and the warrior-hearted queen.

“Your mother’s kits, Skyclaw and Duskbird…” Blazestar’s mouth twitches as he thinks about Little Wolf again, cold beneath drifts of mountain snow leagues away from her children. “They know, now, and so should you.” He wants to bury his face into his paws, but he forces himself to meet their eyes—Fireflypaw’s scarred, unblinking blue ones, Howlfire’s deep hazel, and he suppresses a sigh. “I am their father. You are not half-siblings. Little Wolf, Howlingstar and I knew… but we thought it would be best for everyone if it was kept secret.” His voice strains. Best for everyone—how could things have been different, if he’d only told the truth from the beginning?

He turns his face away, feeling wretched, wrung-out. “I’m sorry I never told you before. Your mother… she wanted them to grow up without a paw in two worlds, like you had to.” His voice is quiet and worn like ancient leather.

, ”​

​

 

[Howlfire]

For once, when Howlfire steps into the hallowed den at her father's summons, she feels uneasy. She walks in close by her brother, trying to read his face to see if he knows anything about this, but finds little to no answers in Fireflypaw's face. Their father invites them in and begins by saying he would make whatever this was quick. Again, Howlfire looks to Fireflypaw briefly, but sits down without question, looking to Blazestar to see what he had to say next.

When he begins to speak of Skyclaw and Duskbird, Howlfire feels even more confused. What did her mother's kits have to do with anything? What did they know that it was deemed necessary for herself and Fireflypaw to now know. And then Blazestar reveals all. He was their father. Not only that but he, Little Wolf, and even their grandmother had known and kept it secret from them. Blazestar tells them that he's sorry he never told them sooner, that it was their mother's wish for them to grow up without a paw in two worlds as they had to. As the news slowly starts to sink in, Howlfire is quiet for a very long time. Her amber eyes look at her father but they're not really looking at him and instead, she's somewhere else. She blinks slowly and then blinks again and then the fire is in her eyes and she has to fight to keep her temper under control. "Why didn't you tell us sooner!?" Howlfire demands to know, her voice cracking with a mix of anger and sadness. "Did we not deserve to know? D-Did you not think we could keep a secret?"

Howlfire has to look away for a moment shaking her head. She had always had her suspicions but had never assumed them to be true. In her mind, the time had long passed for Blazestar or Little Wolf to have told them the truth. So to hear this all now felt like both a relief and a kick in the teeth. "You should have told us!" Howlfire presses on. Despite the loudness of her voice the anger seems to have dampened for now. "I've said such horrible things about them..." Howlfire mews, voice trailing off. Replacement she had called them. It had felt harsh even back then, but knowing they were full-siblings made it feel even worse.

"I-I," She starts to stammer as she fights to maintain control. What she wants to say next she has barely spoken a word of to anyone, only hinted at cryptically. "The day I was taken to the Shelter, I left camp because I was so hurt to hear Little Wolf had more kits. I thought...I thought she only had another litter so soon to get over losing us, to replace the three she lost."​