- Nov 14, 2023
- 87
- 14
- 8
Today had been the day where Basilpaw had the opportunity to prove himself to finally become a warrior. Today would be the day there he finally could leave the apprentice den and join the warrior den alongside Snowlark, the one and only who believed in them. Basilpaw had not forgotten what they had said, when he had been unable to believe in himself, how he had given up months ago as he believed in everything he had been told. Snowlark was different though, telling him all the opposite things, giving him something - that desperate something he had always longed for. That kind of confidence Snowlark had in them. It had made him start to wonder, questioned that maybe, just maybe he could become something on his own instead of living a life in the shadows. It did, it did after all felt amazing to be believed in, didn't it?. To be seen, to be vinsible to someone.
To the very best of his ability, Basilpaw had in fact started to take his training seriously for the first time this past week or so. There was a spark of hope, faith that perhaps he could make it after all. With Snowlark back at camp cheering them on, Basilpaw would - wanted to do more then just good. He wanted...he wanted to make them proud, the words of 'good job' he never had heard, with looks of acceptance and to be seen. Desperately he wished to cling on to all of that. You're nothing but a joke. Perhaps, he didn't need to be that after all. Maybe the happiness he had been seeking for had been there all along in front of his very own eyes.
It had started out well, the assignment being easy enough of him getting send out to caught a mouse to bring home. It should have anyway...gone well. But it didn't. The hunt had gone awful, Basilpaw unable to capture anything that came his way. The right eye slowed him down like it always did as the mouse disappeared from his sight-field. In the very last attempt, Basilpaw would lunge himself at it but the mouse disappeared into the blurry vision and Basilpaw landed with nothing between his paws once again. It was decided then that he wouldn't get anymore chances, that his assignment had failed.
That day had ended horrible, just like all days had lately. Basilpaw dragged his paws back home slowly, head ducked down and as he stopt inside of camp to watch the other ones who had passed thier assignments and how everyone else cheered for them, it was like something just broke inside, and he didn't even know what it was. Basilpaw just turned around to escape from there before Snowlark could find them and see their disappointment. But someone blocked his way. Basilpaw looked up spotting no other else then Spiderwing, his first mentor. " I knew you wouldn't pass. " Spiderwing spat with glee, satisfaction over the fact they had have right all this time. Spiderwing snorted and walked past Basilpaw with a spiteful whisper. " Why don't you do everyone a favor and disappear?. Save yourself from your own embarassment."
Hah, disappearing?. Basilpaw started to grin, paws now taking him to the apprentice den he once more was trapped all alone in. He doubted anyone would even notice. Basilpaw find his old same nest and seeked comfort in it as he laid down. It was only there he finally let the tears fell down from his cheeks. Sobbing quietly, Basilpaw buried his head underneath his own tail, as all the bad thoughts welcomed themselves back. " You're not special Basilpaw!! you're a freak. That's just something you have fooled yourself to believe to make you feel better about yourself because you came out wrong!. " The words echoed itself inside of his head to remind them, over and over again, screaming the awful cruel truth at him.
Basilpaw started to sob even more underneath his tail, as he lay there buried and hidden away from the world. The abomination he had always been told that he was. It was starting to grow difficult to ignore, to not just give in, maybe, just maybe he should.
To the very best of his ability, Basilpaw had in fact started to take his training seriously for the first time this past week or so. There was a spark of hope, faith that perhaps he could make it after all. With Snowlark back at camp cheering them on, Basilpaw would - wanted to do more then just good. He wanted...he wanted to make them proud, the words of 'good job' he never had heard, with looks of acceptance and to be seen. Desperately he wished to cling on to all of that. You're nothing but a joke. Perhaps, he didn't need to be that after all. Maybe the happiness he had been seeking for had been there all along in front of his very own eyes.
It had started out well, the assignment being easy enough of him getting send out to caught a mouse to bring home. It should have anyway...gone well. But it didn't. The hunt had gone awful, Basilpaw unable to capture anything that came his way. The right eye slowed him down like it always did as the mouse disappeared from his sight-field. In the very last attempt, Basilpaw would lunge himself at it but the mouse disappeared into the blurry vision and Basilpaw landed with nothing between his paws once again. It was decided then that he wouldn't get anymore chances, that his assignment had failed.
That day had ended horrible, just like all days had lately. Basilpaw dragged his paws back home slowly, head ducked down and as he stopt inside of camp to watch the other ones who had passed thier assignments and how everyone else cheered for them, it was like something just broke inside, and he didn't even know what it was. Basilpaw just turned around to escape from there before Snowlark could find them and see their disappointment. But someone blocked his way. Basilpaw looked up spotting no other else then Spiderwing, his first mentor. " I knew you wouldn't pass. " Spiderwing spat with glee, satisfaction over the fact they had have right all this time. Spiderwing snorted and walked past Basilpaw with a spiteful whisper. " Why don't you do everyone a favor and disappear?. Save yourself from your own embarassment."
Hah, disappearing?. Basilpaw started to grin, paws now taking him to the apprentice den he once more was trapped all alone in. He doubted anyone would even notice. Basilpaw find his old same nest and seeked comfort in it as he laid down. It was only there he finally let the tears fell down from his cheeks. Sobbing quietly, Basilpaw buried his head underneath his own tail, as all the bad thoughts welcomed themselves back. " You're not special Basilpaw!! you're a freak. That's just something you have fooled yourself to believe to make you feel better about yourself because you came out wrong!. " The words echoed itself inside of his head to remind them, over and over again, screaming the awful cruel truth at him.
Basilpaw started to sob even more underneath his tail, as he lay there buried and hidden away from the world. The abomination he had always been told that he was. It was starting to grow difficult to ignore, to not just give in, maybe, just maybe he should.