i need a little room to breathe. | chilled

[GECKOSCREECH]

✦ HOLD YOURSELF BENEATH THE BRINE ✦​

---

from shouldering most of the responsiblities as a lead warrior to getting berated publicly by that pathetic, rat-brained fool of a leader, the simmering embers of ire that geckoscreech had been trying to keep at bay has now grown into an uncontrollable wildfire that claws desperately beneath her skin to be let loose.

barely able to hold her wits together, the rosetted tabby had made a brisk escape from the suffocating confines of camp and out into the snow-laden territory with no clear destination in mind. she just needed to leave before something regretful is done. it wasn't like she'd particularly hold any regret if she actually did what she wanted to do but geckoscreech did not feel like making an entire enemy out of shadowclan.

things went to shit ever since that sniveling piece of garbage was put in charge.

the bitter thoughts spread throughout her mind like a poisonous gas and it only served to sour the expression currently upon her face, she understood that pitchstar was forced into his position so suddenly but he has let his grief cloud his vision and mind far too long sending him to have these emotionally charged fits that could rival a kit. it frustrated her beyond belief that her job as lead warrior was nothing more than a glorified babysitter position for the clan where some cats would rather laze about and complain instead of working together to fix their growing issues.

a pale muzzle would twist into a muted snarl, teeth barely peaking out from behind her lips as she began to direct her anger onto the closest thing in the vicinty which happened to be the half-frozen body of a decaying rat. there was not a second thought given before ivory claws are tearing into the rotting corpse, whatever blood remained inside the thing now stained her paws as geckoscreech practically shredded the rodent into nothing but ribbons and mush until it was just a indecipherable pile spread out against a canvas of white.

"those no good, lazy ass—!"

the sentence would trail off into a sudden, hate-fueled ramble. ripping apart that carcass wasn't enough to satisfy the bellowing flames and she is left standing in the center of a small clearing spewing out words that were drenched in toxin whilst a banded tail would lash wildly behind her like a whip.

unbeknownst to the lead warrior, she had procured an audience.

@CHILLEDGAZE.

​

 

[CHILLEDSTAR.]

anyone that is frustrated tends to have good enough reason. in shadowclan's case, they had plenty of reasons. all they had to do was pick. chilledgaze was leaning to be frustrated, but their duties as a deputy made it very hard to let that out. they couldn't lash out and snap like the rest of the clan. even the leader got that privilege but chilledgaze had to be a lot more sensible about this. they had to be the voice of reason, because if it wasn't them, surely shadowclan would fall to ruin. they wouldn't let that happen, even if it cost their own life.

however, they did need to escape sometimes. camp became suffocating, and a dull spectacle. they hated their every move being watched, but that was the price of being the deputy. nothing would change that, and they just needed to get over that. but at least out here, away from everyone, they could breath without someone questioning why they did it a specific way. their head laid on their paws, slowly blinking as they got increasingly more tired. the only thing that dragged them from the idea of a nap was the sound of frustation nearby. interesting. standing, they walked around for a bit, the familiar scent of a well trusted lead warrior lingering. as they got closer, they noticed what she was doing and only let out a chuckle. what a sight to behold.

"have to admit that I'm pretty glad I'm not that piece of crow-food right now. what's got your nerves all in a bundle, geckoscreech?"

​

[ NOBODY ELSE MATTERS, GIRL ]​

 

[GECKOSCREECH]

✦ HOLD YOURSELF BENEATH THE BRINE ✦​

---

in the midst of her furied blither, the peanut gallery finally makes itself known to the seething molly who whips around with practiced movement and she faces them with a proper snarl. the muscles beneath her lithe frame tense, readying themselves to launch the lead warrior right at the stranger who dares interrupt this private time. there's a split second in that tense moment where the red clears up from her eyes that geckoscreech realizes that it was chilledgaze who stood there with a little chuckle.

rosetted fur is forced to lay flat as best it can, she tries to go back into a more restful state but it felt impossible. there was far too much pent up emotion inside her and it needed an escape. geckoscreech doesn't spesk for a second, merely narrowing her eyes towards the deputy as if deciding if it's worth it to spill out her frustrations to them. the two never really spoke often unless it was for a patrol but whenever she'd observe them with a passing gaze they always seem like they're about to fall asleep on their own paws or working out an issue between the clan that usually ended in an annoyed hiss.

geckoscreech knits her brows together, wary of whether or not telling them would be the best.

"if i tell you, i need to know i can trust you." ​

 

[CHILLEDSTAR.]

they watch with a bit of dancing light in their eyes. they're amused that geckoscreech had been so ready to attack them. at least that meant they were on guard enough to not be ambushed out here. but the light dies, and immediately any playful edge they have leaves them, when they hear geckoscreech's words. they straightened their entire body, before offering a hardened nod.

"of course. tell me what's on your mind. it stays here, no matter what. cross my heart."

if they were anything, they were a keeper of promises. besides– their lead warrior needed to know she could come to them for anything, even if it was as simple as needing to be around someone else. they lashed their tail, before looking around slightly, nodding once more. their claw drew across their chest, with a serious blink before they waited for geckoscreech to say whatever they had needed to say.
​

[ NOBODY ELSE MATTERS, GIRL ]​

 

[GECKOSCREECH]

there's another pregnant pause that falls between them but only for a few seconds before the lead warrior is sucking in a sharp breath into her lungs, head falling forward slightly to peer down at ivory claws that scrape against the loose layer of snow she stands upon. chilledgaze had already given their word, crossed upon their heart to keep what is said to this place only so what does geckoscreech have to lose?

"i'm at my breaking point chilledgaze, this clan is driving me up the thorn wall. ever since briarstar died it's like that was the point in our lives where everything went to shit! it doesn't help that we're in the middle of leaf-bare swamped with children who are practically being dropped at our borders as if we don't already have enough mouths to feed! my co-lead warrior has pebbles in her skull and shoulders her responsibilities onto me so she can frolick in the damn garbage!"

the angered rambling begins again, cream colored ears twitching against the cold breeze that sweeps through the small clearing they occupy.

"don't even get me started on our sniveling, wet behind the ears leader! that man is the most insufferable, pain in my behind cat i've ever had to deal with, throwing tantrums like a child who didn't get what he wanted! not to mention he's berated and threatened me infront of our clanmates on multiple occassions now as if i'm the fool! "

geckoscreech is speaking with a deep disdain, thick and cloying like tar. if observing close enough, you can see the faint trembles running across her frame as if she's trying to keep herself together.
​

[ BITTERNESS IS LIKE CANCER; IT EATS UPON THE HOST.]​

 

[CHILLEDSTAR.]

chilledgaze takes a moment to listen, soaking in all the information. they can't even debate it. shadowclan is its own personal hellhole at this point, and no amount of lying about that was going to make that not the truth. they closed their eyes for a moment before sighing. they can't afford to lose such a good asset to the clan. geckoscreech is strongheaded and strong willed, but even the toughest of cats would lose it all had they even half of the shit happen like they all did. they didn't need to lose her. taking a moment, they began to pace, humming quietly before their ears perked up and they blinked their cool blue gaze at the lead warrior.

"you're angry and you have no where to direct it. i understand but i can't afford to lose my best lead warrior. so... let's spar. i could use a fitting partner, and stars know you need the outlet... and I'm not asking. you need this, clearly. and feel free to keep ranting."

they planned to keep their word. when they said they weren't going to tell anyone, they meant it. and besides, who didnt love a good old fashioned spar?

"claws or no claws. doesn't matter. don't hold back. let it go, darling."

​

[ NOBODY ELSE MATTERS, GIRL ]​

 

[GECKOSCREECH]

true to their word, chilledgaze remains where they stand to listen as geckoscreech finally is able to spill out a month's worth of built up frustrstions and it honestly manages to ease some tightness she's been feeling in her chest but it wasn't enough to dispell it entirely. ears seem to vaguely angle themselves forwards when the monochromatic feline started to speak, going on about not wanting to lose their best lead warrior because of this pent up anger so they instead offer a better outlet. a spar.

brows would pinch together slightly in consideration, it has been a while since she's gotten to hone her skill and to finally have someone she could batter without suffering major consequences will probably be enough to sate the anger crawling underneath her skin. "fine. let's spar."

geckoscreech would be the first to take a stance, eyes becoming somewhat narrowed as she stared chilledgaze down with quite the intense look before the rosetted warrior is darting forwards. thanks to such a lithe build, the distance between them is shortened in almost few seconds allowing her to suddenly lunge forward with outstetched limbs in attempts to bowl the deputy over, if successful an ivory paw would shoot out to cuff them over the head.​

[ BITTERNESS IS LIKE CANCER; IT EATS UPON THE HOST.]​

 

[CHILLEDSTAR.]

they almost laughed at the eagerness before settled for a nod of their head. they didn't want to ruin this. the spar was good and necessary. chilledgaze, too, had a lot of pent up rage. it sat in their chest like a bird trying to be freed from its cage. occasionally it lashed out, cawing and flapping its wings, losing bits of its feathers from the stress of having been caged with no way out, but with no where to go, it only ever came out in short outbursts. it's not enough. nothing will ever be enough. it would take an act from the stars to finally relieve any of that, but this was a decently good start. besides, this was a lot better than fighting a clanmate with a little bit too much of an attitude problem.

lashing their tail, they let geckoscreech get the first hit in, grunting as they felt the paw hit across their head. with a grin, they flexed their claws before waited. they rushed forward, spinning quickly in an attempt to confuse th3 warrior before attempting to bat their opponents face, then trying to use their shoulder to knock geckoscreech off balance. successful or not, they'd take a couple of mouse length steps back away, tail lashing behind them as they stalked around the warrior, flicking their tail with a taunt.

​

[ NOBODY ELSE MATTERS, GIRL ]​