development i spent my life watching it go by from the sidelines || introspection

[Wormwatcher]

✧*:.｡. The crowd that congregated for Chilledstar’s gathering dispersed slowly, first splitting into different factions as newly named warriors to be congratulated and fresh apprentices were pulled aside to be given advice proudly. Now, there were only a few stragglers remaining, perhaps hanging onto the last bits of excitement and celebration that hung in the air like ripe fruit. Good moments– moments of cheerfulness– were few and far between in Shadowclan. Wormwatcher was one of those few remaining, still settled in the spot that had prior been on the fringes of the throng of felines which gathered beneath the Clanrock. He sits with his characteristically straight posture, rather motionless besides his flicking tail tip. The tom cat had nothing else to do and so he sat in the waning rays of sunshine, his gaze fixed on the distance. He felt happy for his clanmate’s who reached special milestones in their lives and had gladly cheered for them in the usual fashion expected of him. But as he was cheering the names it suddenly dawned upon him that he would likely never have an experience like his own warrior ceremony, again. Very likely, he would be struck down before the opportunity of retirement to the elders’ den was awarded to him, and so there would be no celebration for his achievements or devotion– this was a hauntingly cynical outlook on the current state of Shadowclan- but what Wormwatcher thought, nonetheless. He would also never celebrate these milestones with anyone close to him, he had no kin and no significant friendships. Neither would he ever, truthfully– To bring a kit into this life would be cruel. He often watched Chilledstar and their half-siblings from afar, envious of the leader for having connected with their siblings and bringing them here. Did he have siblings out there? Wormwatcher would often think of the chance and if they were discarded like a morsel of bones, just as he was.
The tom cat sighs wearily, pulling his gaze away from where it had been previously locked upon. He lowered his angular head downwards, staring down at his stained forepaws and the nettles beneath them. Wormwatcher remained there forlornly for quite some time, his eyes seemingly piercing through the earth and into the very core of the Earth itself.

✧*:.｡. ~ aren’t i enough? ~

• ooc- takes place immediately after july 2nd meeting (
  
• wormwatcher —— he/him

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