private I won't give up on us || visiting grave

[Flamestar]

⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊ The sun had set and rose since her conversation with Howlingstar. From her nest she had watched dawn begin to peak into the camp, igniting each object it touched with faint light. Her kits were still sleeping at her side, a rare sight that she would be thankful for if it were any other day. Carefully, she stood up and padded out into the clearing. A light breeze ruffled her chest fur, and she closed her eyes to take it in. Is that you, my bug? It brought her comfort to imagine him in front of her, pressing his head into her fur. We're coming.. She opened her eyes, and though she knew he wouldn't be there, disappointment still flashed through her gaze. Some nights she still fell asleep, praying to Starclan she would wake up and his absence would've just been a nightmare.

She caught Raccoonstripe's gaze as he assigned the daily patrols, and she dipped her chin slightly in greeting. They would be departing soon, and she wanted to make sure her kits had something to eat before their journey. Even though the graves were close, this would be the farthest they have traveled. The fiery tabby grabbed a plump mouse, and carried it back to the nursery. She dipped her head as she entered the den. In their nest, they were stirring now. "Good morning my dears." The mouse dropped in front of them as she sat back to lick each of their pelts as they ate. After her conversation with Howlingstar, she had informed them that they would be visiting their father's grave today. "This is a great honor that Howlingstar is granting you all today. I want you all to behave yourselves, and do not...I repeat do not stray from the patrol. The forest is a dangerous place, and you will be in a heap of trouble if you wander off." Her words were firm, perhaps the sternest she had ever gotten with them. "Falconheart picked flowers for us all to bring...if you are all finished, we'll go find him now." She waited to see if the kits were finished, before turning to lead them out into the camp.

Howlingstar, Raccoonstripe, Badgerstripe, and Falconheart stood near the camp's exit waiting for them. She dipped her head to the group, before casting a glance over her shoulder at the four kits. In front of Falconheart's paws was a bundle of flowers for her. Before picking them up, she would bump her head against his shoulder. "Thank you." Her voice was quiet, but loud enough for him to hear. "We're ready if you are." her gaze shifted to Howlingstar, waiting for her leader's signal.

//
@RACCOONSTRIPE @FALCONHEART @badgerstripe @HOWLINGSTAR
@SUNKIT @SQUIRRELKIT @Scorchedkit

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎┌── MY DARLING ⋅✩⋅ WHO KNEW ──┐‎

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• 

• FLAMEWHISKER ✩ she/her, deputy of thunderclan, 32 moons, ages on the 20th
  ⭃ LH red tabby with low white (masks black tabby, carries dilute, solid)
  ⭃ widowed mate to flycatcher / / mother to: falconheart, stormfeather, sparrowpaw, sunkit, mothkit, scorchedkit, and squirrelkit
  ⭃ peaceful and healing powerplay permitted / / underline and tag when attacking
  ⭃ will start a fight, will finish fights, will kill (case depending)
  ⭃ link to toyhouse
  ⭃ penned by Icey ! ↛ @icefang65 on discord, feel free to dm for plots.
  

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[SUNPAW]

When he rouses in the morning, he does not expect to be told anything. He happily eats alongside his siblings, the mouse that his mother brought filling and leaving him satisfied. And hes happy to go out and play, right until... Flamewhisker drops the sun on him in information.

They were going to visit dads grave. Death was something unfamiliar to Sunkit despite nearly being an apprentice, despite it shadowing over him since he was born. Flycatcher had been his dad since the dawn of his time, but he had also been dead. Sunkit will never know how it feels to play with your father, to have him watch you grow up... He's complacent with this information. Not happy, not sad. Just the awkward in between where he feels like he should know grief but doesn't. It's hard to imagine a dead cat through stories.

Despite this, he tries to remain cheery even with the inner turmoil boiling in his mind. "Im always well behaved, mama." he says so earnestly that for a split second it could have been mistaken as true. He flashes her a smile and happily pads after her.

A grave. Will he see his dad, then? What does it mean to be dead? Is his dad gone forever? Well... It's not like he ever knew him personally. He was his mamas mate. And his dad. His dad. He doesn't pay attention much to the other kits' parents. His friend Meadowkit has a mom. Does she have a dad? He guesses she does. He heard about Flycatcher (thats his name, and Sunkit mouths the word to himself) through stories his mom told him and his siblings. And Falconheart, too- heroic, he seemed. Sunkit has big pawprints to fill. He tries so hard to imagine Flycatcher in his mind but only conjures up something hazy, like a distant memory that isn't all his, built from the ground up from words of others.

Is it possible to miss someone you never knew? Is it possible to yearn for something that never existed in the first place?

He's so caught up in his thoughts that he almost bumps into his mom. He squeaks out an embarrassed, "Sorry mama!" and falls back in to line with his siblings.

𝙽𝙴𝚅𝙴𝚁 𝙱𝙴𝙴𝙽 𝚃𝙾 𝙹𝙰𝙸𝙻 ✧ ☾ ☀ ☽ ✧ 𝙲𝙰𝚄𝚂𝙴 𝙸 𝙽𝙴𝚅𝙴𝚁 𝙶𝙴𝚃 𝙲𝙰𝚄𝙶𝙷𝚃

• 
  ✶ sunkit
  ✶ amab ,, he/him ,, 5 moons
  ✶ kitten of thunderclan ,, flamewhisker xx flycatcher ,, siblings
  ✶ fluffy red tabby with heterochromia & low white
  ✶ "speech, ee5d6c" ,, thoughts
  ✶ smells like oak & the faint scent of the nursery, floral & loving
  ✶ chibi by pin ,, penned by chuff

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[HOWLINGSTAR]

Howlingstar can't deny she's a bit nervous for the morning's excursion. Kits are never allowed to leave the camp's walls, a law she and every warrior upholds firmly. But when she'd looked into Flamewhisker's watery eyes, it's almost like she could feel Flycatcher there with her, her former deputy whispering that he'd keep them safe if they went for a short visit. It's a one-time exception, not something she plans to normalize, but she still brings herself to smile when she sees the kits padding over towards the group waiting for them. She meets her deputy's gaze, scans the group with her son among them, and nods. "Let's go, then."

The plump tabby slips out of camp, head ducking against the brambles that scrape at her pelt. The graveyard is very close, but she remains on edge just in case any threats cross their path. "Stay close," She warns over her shoulder, ears angling every which away and eyes roaming the forest. It isn't long before they arrive, a clearing with stones sprinkled about. Most lay on flat, well-trodden ground; some upon fresh heaps. They come to a stop in front of one particular rock and Howlingstar drops her gaze, her tail brushing the floor. Instead of saying anything, she glances to Flamewhisker and Falconheart. This is their time.​

 

[FALCONHEART]

𓍊𓋼 There’s been a noticeable tremble in the tom’s paws all morning. Since his mother had first approached him to discuss it, Falconheart has wrestled with fear and excitement both. He’s excited to show his siblings where their father lies—Flycatcher, deputy of ThunderClan, gone too soon—but at the same time he can’t stave off the nervous energy that clings to him at the idea. He hasn’t visited his father’s grave since the tom was first buried there. The thought makes him feel absolutely sick with grief, with guilt—but it just wouldn’t feel right to stand before Flycatcher’s grave without Flamewhisker nearby. They’ve been left to wallow in their grief or move past it, and for the most part it has been his mother’s presence that’s kept Falconheart going. She had been unable to remain strong for the first few weeks of his younger siblings’ lives, and it had been hard to watch. Even harder than failing his first assessment, harder than casting away his closest kithood friend at last. But it just meant that he… he had to be strong. He’s had to be strong for months now. Standing just outside of camp beside the others who’ll be going with them, the tom glances down at his gathered flowers every so often. He’d gotten up long before dawn had broken, just to collect them. And thankfully, the flowers seem good enough for his mother.

Flamewhisker presses her face to his shoulder, and Falconheart nods in return. She doesn’t need to thank him; he’s only doing what he should. "I tried to find the ones he’d like best," he responds, his voice stiff and serious. His father’s opinions are lost to him now, even on matters as trivial as flowers, and for that the tabby-striped warrior still grieves. He’s felt the loss anew each time he’s turned to ask Flycatcher’s advice, felt the barely-healed wound begin to fester every time he looks too closely at the blue-striped patches that splash across some of his younger siblings’ pelts.

One day he’ll be older than his father was, and the knowledge doesn’t sit well with Falconheart. One day he’ll tell his kits stories about their grandfather, but there will be no Flycatcher for them to meet. Just as his younger siblings have been robbed of their father, every generation to come has been robbed of a powerful, bold tom… but his legacy won’t be forgotten. Not if Falconheart can make sure of it. To himself, he promises to visit the resting place of his father more often. Taking the kits to visit is only the beginning.

He tries to shake the nerves from his pelt as he walks, taking up a position at the back of their small patrol. Howlingstar is at the front, keeping watch like the great protector he’s always known her to be. But if anything approaches from behind… the threat will face him, instead. And he will fight it off, or die trying. It’s a new feeling to the tom—he’d never imagined before that he could be brave enough to die for another, even his littermate—but now, looking at tiny paws and bright eyes, naïve and sheltered from the cruelest parts of the world… Falconheart knows that he could do it. And he would, in a heartbeat. His life, in exchange for one of theirs? It would be a winning deal, honestly: a worthless leaf traded in for the most juicy, plump squirrel.

His eyes widen, mouth dropping open in shock as little Sunkit nearly careens straight into his mother’s frame. The warrior swoops forward, paw reaching forth in an attempt to steady the young tom. "Careful. Can’t go see dad if you fall on your face before we get there," he somehow finds a way to laugh, to find amusement in the grim situation.

𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊 take the world by storm

• ooc: —
• 
  FALCONHEART ❯❯ he/him, thunderclan warrior
  ⭃ shorter than average cream tabby with white spotting. seems gloomy and has few friends, but is a hard worker and never neglects his duties.
  ⭃ son of flamewhisker and flycatcher ; brother to stormfeather, scorchedkit, mothkit, sunkit, squirrelkit, sparrowpaw
  ⭃ peaceful and healing powerplay permitted
  ⭃ penned by foxlore

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[RACCOONSTRIPE]

Against his will, his heart bleeds for Flamewhisker, for Falconheart, as the broken family huddles before the stone marking Flycatcher's grave. She's in an impossible position—her green eyes are glazed with the weight of her grief, but her shoulders carry the burden of queenhood, of motherhood, of sporting the title of Clan deputy. Falconheart looks almost lost amidst the gravestones, clutching flowers for the fallen. And the kits... Raccoonstripe gazes at them, sympathy coloring his expression. They will grow up not knowing their father, as he had; they will be left with a name, a legacy, impossible pawprints to fill, but they will never know the touch of a father's tongue across their ear, the encouraging words only a sire can give.

I will be there for my kits, for better or worse. He closes his eyes, tucking his tail around his paws. And I know you would have wanted to as well, Flycatcher. You were a brave warrior and a better father than I'll ever be. But he can try. He can certainly try.

『 out of character. 』 ✧･ﾟ:* 『 about. 』

• ooc: —
• 
• Raccoon . Raccoonstripe, he/him w/ masculine terms.
  — “speech”, thoughts, attack
  — 37 moons old, ages realistically on the 5th.
  — mentored by n/a ; mentoring Thistlepaw ; previously mentored Wildheart, Moonwhisper
  — thunderclan lead warrior. gray wolf x howlingstar, gen 2.
  — currently mated to Nightbird.
  — penned by Marquette.
  
  
  lh black tabby with white and dark brown eyes. charismatic, charming, calculating, ambitious, shallow, manipulative.
  
  

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[Bugpaw !]

*+:｡.｡ Although Bugkit slept sounder than a rock, she never failed to notice when her mom was gone. Perhaps it was the change in texture beneath her head, or the comforting scent drifting out of reach, but the girl found her sleep just a little less peaceful without her mamma. Blinking drowsy yellow eyes, Bugkit lifted her head to find, indeed, her mamma wasn't there. This wasn't the first time Bugs has woken to her mamma being absent, so she was secure in the knowledge that Flamewhisker would return soon enough and remained calm. But always, a part of her deep in her core twinges. She always finds her gaze lingering on the nursery entrance. Happiness remains ever so slightly of reach until she knows, with certainty, that her mamma is ok. That she's coming back.

Growing up without a dad was never a massive bother to Bugkit. She had a whole clan to keep her company, after all, and a wonderful mamma to keep her warm at night and play with her during the day. Bugs couldn't exactly miss someone she's never met, could she? Bugkit mulls that concept over now, as she waits for Flamewhisker to return. Stretching each paw in turn, she pauses for a moment on the one leg painted blue. She thinks about where that blue comes from. Squinting, she blurs her vision just enough so that when she curls that paw around herself, she can almost imagine a blue-pelted figure hugging her. Is that what his arm would look like? Would his hug be that soft? Would he even want to hug her?
Bugkit giggles to herself, again, at the idea of missing someone who's never been there.
It's a funny thought, isn't it?

The girl perks up when she catches her mamma's scent just before the woman returns to the den. Bugs is already trilling with joy, bouncing around her mother's legs before setting to work eating her fill of mice. She playfully bats at Squirrelkit's nose with the mouse's paw, before quickly dropping it when one of her siblings reminds her to not play with her food. Bugs glances at her mom through the corner of her eye, nonetheless hoping her antics has brought a smile to her mamma's face. Bugs can sense something is coming before Flamewhisker speaks - her mama is...cloudy today.

That's how Bugkit got to know her father.
Although she's never seen him, she's noticed his presence for as long as she can remember. He's there in the way her mamma gets a faraway look in her eyes while watching Bugs and her siblings play or nurse. He's there when Flamewhisker shudders in her sleep. He's there when Flamewhisker stops smiling when no one's looking, as though, by herself, a piece of her is missing. A piece that looks just like one of Bugkit's blue arms.

So her stomach drops in a way Bugs wasn't expecting when Flamewhisker informed them of the news.
Truth be told...a part of Bugkit hates Flycatchers.
He's the reason, after all, that her mamma doesn't smile as fully as she tries to. The reason why Bugs' jokes don't always land, why she works so hard to make sure her pranks are the best, her antics loud enough to pierce through that fog in her mama's eyes. He's the reason Bugkit's hugs need to be tighter and yet...they'll never quite be enough, will they?
"Can we be apprentices early then? since we're going on a patrol?" Bugs asks, skirting over the topic as best she can. She giggles as she lightly nudges her brother, meowing, "I'm gonna call you Sunpaw until we get home, and you can call me Bugpaw, too!" she purrs.

But anger begins to fester beneath her thick coat as she watches on.
In horror, she notes tendrils of that fog entering her brother's eyes. How he walks aimlessly, blind to his own steps, until he bumps into Flamewhisker. She sees it again in Falconheart, as he stirs nervously before pressing tight against their mother, his voice just a little too stiff. Bugkit sinks into her fur for a moment, her paws feeling like rocks as the urge to beg to stay home rises in her tongue.
But she's got a job to do, doesn't she?

"Hey Sunkit- I mean Sunpaw, lets play eye-spy!" she announces, raising her voice a bit higher than usual to ensure she gets as much attention as she can. She learned that smiles can be quite contagious, so she does her best to grin from ear to ear as she skips and hops, making sure each step is silly and jovial. The best way to banish the fog is to make them laugh, surely! "I'll go first, let's see, let's see...I spy with my little eye...something...tall! aaaand brown! Basically a tree - oh, one more hint, he - I mean it has a long fluffy tail!" crouching low to the ground, she aims to pounce forward, grabbing hold of Falconheart's tail and batting at it with her hind legs. She lets out a giggle as her big brother inadvertently drags her little body a step or two before he surely notices his tail's new attachment, but until then she has a fun ride!



They're here.


And suddenly, Bugkit can't keep up the act.

The little girl, peppy and bubbly, goes quiet when her eyes spot the first rock, then the next, and the next. Her breath hitches, and she's no longer tugging on Falconheart's tail for attention, but rather for security. She backs close to her brother, then quickly hides under his legs. Her pale yellow eyes skitter across the carefully laid out graves, and although the idea that these were all once cats doesn't fully register, it's enough for the girl to tremble.
"I don't..." she begins, only to quickly clamp her mouth shut. She turns watery eyes towards Flamewhisker, and doubts it wouldn't hurt her mother's feelings if Bugkit announced that she didn't want to be here. She didn't want to meet her dad.
Because this couldn't be her dad, surely?
Her blues didn't come from a rock. The fog that surrounded her family wasn't from a rock. This place wasn't a garden full of clumsily placed stones this...this was so much more than that.

"Um...I think...I think this place is more for boulder people than me" Bugkit offers with a shy giggle. She'd been waiting for a long time to say that particular pun...although she hadn't planned on it being here of all places.

*+:｡.｡ Updated 3/22/24

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  GENERAL:
  ♫ Bugkit
  ♫ DFAB— She/Her
  ♫ 5 moons — Ages 1 moon every month real-time
  ♫ Daughter to Flamewhisker and Flycatcher
  ♫ Sibling to Falconheart, Stormfeather, Lilykit, Butterflykit, Scorchedkit, Squirrelkit, Sunkit
  ♫ Thunderclan — Kit
  
  
  
  
  
  
  COMBAT:
  ♫Physically easy | mentally easy
  ♫ Attack in bold pink
  injuries: None currently

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