I WOULD LIFT THE WEIGHT YOU’RE CARRYING ♡ freckleflame

[PALEFIRE]

Her heart was weighed down by grief. She could feel herself slowly unraveling, everyday a little more of her sanity chipped away as she struggled to cope with what she'd done. She wasn't sleeping much, and every time she did manage to shut her eyes, she'd see their faces. She hadn't been in the camp when Sunfreckle had died, but she didn't need to see what happened to hear his voice in her head every time it got quiet. His blood was on her paws, and if she ever stopped to think about the reality of what had been lost, she'd fall. She was angry, Stars above she was so angry at herself. But she didn't pity herself. She deserved to feel this way. She deserved all of this and more.

It was Freckleflame's grief that broke her heart. She and Rabbitnose were left to live with the consequences of Palefire's poor decision, and it wasn't fair. She didn't know how to make it right, and in the back of her mind she knew she'd never even come close. But that didn't mean she couldn't at least try to express how sorry she was. Odds were, Freckleflame would hate her forever. She had every right to hate her. But she wanted to at least try to apologize, in whatever way she could. Palefire would likely just be setting up her own downfall, but whatever the tortoiseshell molly threw at her, she'd accept. She deserved it all. If she wanted to scream at her, then she could scream. If she wanted to hurt her, Palefire wouldn't lift a claw to defend herself. But that might be exactly what she needed now; a sounding board for her grief and anger, and someone to direct the blame onto. Let it be her, it should be her. She hadn't told anyone what really happened that night, how she'd only left to bring the others back. In the end it didn't matter why. She had still made a choice, and it ended up being the wrong one.

It wasn't hard to find the other warrior, with her striking coat of fire and shadow. She stood out enough that Palefire's eyes fell to her as soon as she walked through the camp's gorse tunnel. It seemed like as good a time as any, since the young she-cat was on her own in a more secluded corner of the camp. Her ears folded back against her head as she hesitantly walked over, unable to meet Freckleflame's gaze as she approached. "Um… hi. I know- I know I'm probably the last face you want to see right now, but I…." She choked as her throat threatened to close with emotion, and she cleared it roughly before continuing. "I'm sorry. I know that doesn't mean anything, not considering what you've lost because of me. But I needed you to know. I am sorry, for everything. Your father was one of the bravest cats I've ever known, and if I could take his place now I would. I just…" Finally she lifted her teary blue eyes to those of forest green that sat across from her, mentally preparing for whatever came next. "I'm sorry."

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‎‎ooc ♡ info

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• PALEFIRE ♡ she / her, warrior of thunderclan, 13 moons
  ⭃ lh lilac lynx point w/ low white and blue eyes. tall and slender. built for speed and agility.
  ⭃ single, open to relationships / / mentor to no one // mentored by nightbird
  ⭃ peaceful and healing powerplay permitted / / underline and tag when attacking.
  ⭃ penned by limerence ↛ @limericks. on discord, feel free to dm for plots.

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[freckleflame]

the days have been a blur. a haziness in her head and tightly coiled misery lodged in her chest, a deep, heady despair. each day is a bitter struggle, a purposeful push to keep herself moving — to keep going, and keep going. she didn’t want to sit and ruminate. she wished she could forget it ; the noise, the sight, the reaction that rippled out over the cats she’d known since her kitting. the immediate pity. freckleflame had never been the pitiable sort, and so she does what she does best : she ignores. she avoids. she ducks her head, her father would have wanted that for her, and batwing too.. but her eyes are still heavy and ringed black, dry when she blinks and never managing enough sleep lest those sounds engraved in the back of her skull find way to her sleeping memory. she is tired often in the wake of such tragedy, shedding her fiesty spirit like snakeskin for silent trudging dutyship. a sudden lack of power and paws puts a strain on her further than what already weighs upon her haunted mind, and rest is rare, even if patrols manage to stick the pile enough for their nursing queens and elders.

it’s how she finds herself splayed warm and cozy over the flat of a camp stone, fire and shadow ruffled by the gentle newleaf breeze, the blaze of sun over her belly and sound of life moving about through the ravine easing her into a light slumber. she is fortunate enough to be left alone to rest, whether by purpose or pity ; roeflame’s ever present gaze of concern burns from the nursery where kits bumble and play, their distinct lack of presence certainly accredited to the little tabby’s attentiveness. she is dozing but when a tremulous um, hi. sounds from too nearby, lids flutter into blurry slits, batting against the dimming sun dipping just below palefire’s guilt - ridden face to see anything but her gold - haloed figure. for a moment, the tortoiseshell simply blinks up at her, gathering her wits and squinting against the blazing alabaster of the mollys coat before reality crashes down upon her. her ears pin, hoisting herself over to her paws and pointedly shaking out the thick of her fur. her tail flicks dismissively, because howlingstar had already ripped her fur once for arguing in camp.

then, she starts to ramble.

the dark of her fur begins to bristle first, a merely millisecond warning before she whorls to snap a spittle - lined, “ don’t talk about him! “ it’s like a shattering dam. her heart aches and her tongue lashes out in defense. a cornered, suffering animal, “ you don’t get to talk to me about my dad! i have to sit here and listen to everyone tell me how brave he was. when, when he was a brave because — he had to be! “ it’s shrill, an edge of desperation pinning her ears flatter and raising her lips to expose mottled gums, “ you made the choice to leave! you made the choice to leave us unguarded! if we knew they were coming maybe, maybe we could have gotten out and maybe he wouldn’t have had to be a hero. he didn’t need to be a hero, when he already was mine! “ it’s selfish — her voice even takes on the edge of a petulant whine, embittered in despair as it was. misery paints her expression in something painful, a drouging up of recent and awful memory with each quick inhale of breath. her eyes cloud, tear in a way that was familiar now ; childish as it was, the urge to stomp her foot arises just in time for her to bite it down, to instead whirl angry, gleaming eyes towards palefire.

yes, it was palefire’s fault. it was the young group of warriors that had abandoned their post to.. to what? she knows they couldn’t have defended themselves, they couldn’t have done much differently, even if they had heard the pack getting closer.. still, her claws unsheathe to sink into the dirt flooring, locking her into place, “ why? why would you do that? you knew there were wolves out there and you left us sleeping here, unguarded — “ she gasps in a breath, whether from panic or anger she doesn’t know nor does she particularly want to. it had to be someone’s fault, it had to be. it was too awful for her rage and misery to go unheard, for the world to go unpunished for such a brutal crime. her eyes tear, dampen the sun - kissed ginger of her face as she searches the young molly’s for something, something beyond the strain of guilt and averted eyes. where else could she put all this hate? “ it’s not okay. it’s never going to be okay, and i hope — i hope it’s awful for you. really. i hope it haunts you, so no one ever has t’ suffer from your choices again. “ its mean. it’s spiked, ridged to hurt and a mighty lash of her tail seals it, breathing out a heavy puff of dismissive ( and somewhat guilty ) air as she turns to stalk away.

𝚈𝙾𝚄 𝙼𝙰𝙺𝙴 𝙼𝙴 𝚂𝙼𝙸𝙻𝙴 -`☀︎´- 𝘗𝘓𝘌𝘈𝘚𝘌 𝘚𝘛𝘈𝘠 𝘍𝘖𝘙 𝘈 𝘞𝘏𝘐𝘓𝘌 𝘕𝘖𝘞

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  FRECKLEFLAME 𖦹 . LESBIAN, SINGLE. SMELLS LIKE SUN - WARMED OAK AND RICH, EARTHY MUSK. TWENTY MOONS OLD. FRIEND & SISTER TO MANY! NAMED A WARRIOR OF THUNDERCLAN ON 8 / 3 / 2023. MENTORING BRAVEPAW! PENNED BY ANTLERS --------------------------------------------
  
  she / her, eldest daughter of rabbitnose and the late sunfreckle. big, fluffy cream - ribboned tortoiseshell with seaglass eyes. larger than life! each and every part of her is broad ; wide in everything from her face to shoulders to her feathered tail, something reminiscent of her father’s kittypet heritage in the square of her chin and hulk of her figure. she appears illusionarily fluff - ridden at first, thickly pelted in shades of fire and soot, long & tangled, knotted with undergrowth — seeming soft and pudgy, and she is.. that figure curving into hard, hidden bulk along heavyset flanks and well - muscled limbs. a characteristic lack of personal space leads her to a slouching, touchy posture, often inclined to lean or bump against her peers.
  

  

  A LARGE, ATHLETIC MOLLY. somewhat brutish in the wake of her family's staggering loss, bull - headed and hardy with something to prove, freckleflame will often find herself in border disputes as an unsurprisingly formidable opponent. a slow but hard & heavy hitter.

  
  

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