& if it'll kill me | thistleback | it'll kill me

[Snowpath]

Cats often made mistakes. No one was perfect, despite his confidence he might've been at some point. It was funny how quickly one could lose their ego, even funnier how fast life would just twist around to bite you back for nipping at its heels. Snowpaw liked to think he hadn't made a lot of mistakes so far in his life, but he'd certainly made a big one recently and it was going to cling to his coat like burrs for a long time, he could tell already. The apprentice found he had no desire to get back into things like he wanted, his punishment was lifted and he had a little while before Deersong moved to the Nursery; he should be enjoying his newfound freedom with his mentor while he could before she was preoccupied with motherhood. But he shouldn't shake himself from the feelings of anger and unease that kept shifting inside him on the daily. It distracted him so much he had failed every hunt he'd attempted the past few days and was quietly furious with himself for his own failings. He'd failed so many things, the squirrels and birds were hardly the worst of them all...his greatest failure was across the moors now, hidden in tall grass and too far for him to even consider going even with his willingness to take the risk. It was stupid how easily they had just given up like that, submitting to WindClan's demands and...
He rocked back on his hindlegs, dug his claws into the nearest tree and raked them down hard enough that he snagged one and felt it tear but he didn't care; his teeth were grit in a growl of righteous fury and he repeated it again to score the thick bark with his presence. It was a good thing he'd left camp and done this out in the territory, he probably looked like a crazy cat taking his aggression out on the trees.

The blood pooling at the quick of his torn claw steadily dyed the toe of that paw red and when he raised it to tilt he watched it run up his foreleg to his elbow; leaving a smooth red track across his pelt. Blood dragged through the snow. He wanted to scream.

@ThistleBack
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[ThistleBack]

If there was anyone in Skyclan who held no judgment, no intrusive thought over the brutal sight displayed before him. Unbridled fury, driven to far, the release of furious tension like a cut chord.

Thistleback was seated in the low ferns, face half shadowed by a pine as he watches his mate’s apprentice. Having followed him, spotting the grey and white youth slipping away without company. A dangerous decision, with the tensions at the border and lurking threats just beyond it if not within, having slipped through a crack in the patrol’s timely gaps.

With quiet pensive interest, Thistleback watches as the boy tilts his forelimb. A trail of red climbing across his fur, a deep contrast. The kid looked unaffected, adrenaline was funny like that.

" trying to bring the wolves in boy ? " Thistleback is drawn forth, to the violent music in the forest like a crazed badger or the feast of itchy antlers on a young buck. " you’ve got powerful claws " Thistleback praises the boy with narrowed optics floating down the woodwork, bloodied mess. " However- the less you have, the weaker you are " the piebald aims to roughly hoist the boy’s injured paw up toward his beady black nose for inspection.

" tsk, tsk- " Thistleback pulls his paw away with a frown, " It’s okay to be angry, but never let it have this power over you- or it will smother you " this felt, deja vu - painfully so, he’s brought to the night he found Coyotepaw in the woods alone, shouting his vengeance to the stars.

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OOC INFO REF

• —
  
  
• — Thistleback | thirty-two moons | cis-male
  — warrior of Skyclan | leaves rarely
  — bisexual | fallen for Deersong 9.29.22
  — formerly mentoring Coyotepaw
  — very muscular piebald black and white tom with spiky fur and cold silver-grey eyes. Wears a purple collar with brass clasp.
  
• 
  
  

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[Snowpath]

There's a growl in his throat that dies the moment his paw is snatched up, but his disgruntled expression remains fixated upon his maw. Maybe he was too distracted in his anger, but he hadn't heard the grey-eyed tom following him or maybe he had been here the entire time and Snowpaw just didn't notice. You'd think a cat mostly white would be easier to spot in the forest but then again he was pretty pale himself and could stalk prey like any other.
The blue tabby's ears fell back and flat against his skull as he pulled his paw back down and then right back up to lick at and mostly smear the otherwise spreading red that was now lightening into a soft pink around the edges of his forearms.
"...why couldn't we have fought WindClan, Thistleback...? They had only five warriors there at the time, we could have easily chased them off. We could have prepared for them coming back with more! We could've stopped them! It's STUPID! Why are we letting them walk on us!?"
He felt angry tears biting into the corners of his eyes as his fury finally burst forth, but he refused to let them fall and tilted his head up to struggle them back down into the golden depths from which they sprang.
"Why should they win?!" Leopardcloud's body was still intact beneath the earth, the carrion beetles and worms probably didn't even put a dent into her yet and already they had failed her in keeping her kits in SkyClan where it was safe. Was she in StarClan now? Shaking her head in disappointment? Was she angry at them? Grieving? Was Coyotepaw going to be their enemy now? Would he ever come back?

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