if you love me, why'd you leave me? | leaving thunderclan

[Howlfire]

backwritten to take place after the gathering and this thread.

The trek back to camp felt longer than it actually was. Howlpaw's paws were weighed down with an indescribable feeling. The gathering had been hard to sit through, but what had come after was even harder. A choice had to be made - ThunderClan or SkyClan - and Howlpaw had chosen SkyClan.

Her parents had stayed back to say a final goodbye to each other, but Howling Wind had led the four of them back to camp, where Howlpaw and Fireflypaw were encouraged to say goodbye. Goodbye to their friends, goodbye to their family, goodbye to all the clanmates they had known and grown up around.

When they finally reached camp, Howlpaw looked around with tears in her eyes, trying to commit the faces of the cats around her and the way camp looked to memory. As time passed she would remember this place less and less and all she would have would be memories of the past, of a family not yet broken apart by grief and enforced borders.

"T-ThunderClan," Howlpaw called out, trying to summon the confidence and quiet strength of her grandmother as she called out to them. "This is goodbye..."

obligatory tag for: @HOWLING WIND , @Fireflypaw , @CRESCENTPAW , @BURNPAW !
plus a bonus tag for family members @COBWEBTAIL @WOLFWIND @BERRYHEART @RACCOONSTRIPE @Hollow Tree @GRAYSTORM ​

 

[SHALLOW]

Howlpaw was leaving?. Shallowpaw had been there during the gathering so knew what had gone down although there had been alot of unecessery bickering wondering if it was normal for adults to waste energy on arguing over something that not really had solved anything anyway. At least their leader Emberstar seemed smarter than the other leaders. She had been able to find a solution the other leaders had agreed with putting a stop to the fighting as well. Now however, there was difficult decisions some cats had to make, and Howlpaw was one of them who had decided what he assumed was to join her father in Skyclan. Where else would she go?.

Shallowpaw stood back not thinking this was his place to really say anything about. He preferred to stay out of private matters like this and skyclan was a clan he rather not got too much involved with for a long time to come. " Okay." Was all he said not too emotional invested with this farewell. He didn't know his denmates all too well on purpose putting a wall between himself and them so he had not been close to Howlpaw. But he would support her decision even if he not openly said so.


​

 

[BERRYHEART]

The news was heavy on the hearts of many. Loves torn apart, familial or otherwise- a necessary evil, perhaps. But for Berryheart it did not make the truth any harder to digest. Not only had they lost Wisps, but ThunderClan- his family- would also be losing Dynamo and Sootypaws. To say the least it saddened him- Uncle Berryheart was one of his favourite phrases, and though his niblings would still be around it was going to take a while to get used to the fact that yet more of them were living in different Clans. Still- everything had merit when looked at objectively, and the tiniest sliver of solace was found in the knowledge that he would see them again at gatherings. They would all be reunited eventually of course, but it was soothing to know that his family would still have its invisible ties that stretched beyond the border.

To meet them in battle- well, that was something he found himself selfishly glad to be exempt from, now.

A slow blink obscured dulled green eyes, and Berryheart's speckled form ambled over, bowing his head. Upon his typically stony expression laid the slight curve of a smile, and yet a sway of sadness swam in his olivine eyes. A subtle but bittersweet expression offered in the spirit that he hoped his niece would leave ThunderClan proud of the fact she had made her own choice. "I'll miss you, Dynamo." A mutter, curved with the spark of sincerity. The out-loud admittance of his internal nicknames was rare to hear, but he had given her that name for her spirit and he hoped she would keep it with her, as Lake-eyes had. ​

[ PENNED BY PIN ]​

 

[RACCOONSTRIPE]

( ☄. *. ⋆ ) He's been furious since Howling Wind had brought the kits to camp without Little Wolf. He knows where his older sister is -- still in Fourtrees, no doubt, snuggling with her kittypet mate while she sends her son and her daughter to their Clan to say goodbye. The tabby is pacing, anger lighting the striped pelt along his back.

When Howlpaw and Fireflypaw make their appearance, Raccoonstripe swings his dark, glittering eyes onto first the son, then the daughter. What a shame for ThunderClan to lose them both! And for what?

"Do you know that if you leave, you'll not be part of this family anymore?" His voice, despite the fire in his eyes, is cold as the snow underpaw. He gives Berryheart a bitter look. His brother only says goodbye, a tom of few words as always, but he can see the heartbreak in his pale blue eyes.

"Stay, be with your family. Leave that -- your father behind," he says, directing his attention to Howlpaw and Fireflypaw. "Don't you want to be with your kin at a time like this?" He thinks of Morningpaw, who they've lost; Lakemoon, forever a RiverClan warrior.

He grits his teeth in response. They've lost too much to keep on losing. He wants to bare his teeth at Little Wolf, but she isn't even here for him to do that.​

( I CAN SEE THE SKY LIGHT UP , AND THE GROUND EXPLODE )

 

[HOWLINGSTAR]

Yes, it had been her to bring up the fact that the half-clan apprentice must choose a clan. Never had she imagined two of them would choose wrong. The walk back to camp is a solemn one, silent as the woman pads beside her grandchildren. A litter of close-knit children is about to be even further broken. She touches each of them in passing; a nose to an ear here, a tail-tip to the shoulder there. She wants them all to know she loves them so, so terribly much.

When they reach camp, she stands nearby without a word, head held high as she fights to remain strong, even when Howlpaw utters her goodbyes. She watches as her clanmates' faces light up in surprise; they hadn't expected them to leave either. Tears threaten to dampen her eyes but she blinks them back, instead only watching as Berryheart moves forward to bid them farewell. It's when Raccoonstripe approaches and tries to harshly urge them to stay that she strides forward and brushes up against her son. "Of course they'll still be a part of our family," She mews sternly, surprise etched in her voice at hearing such a thing. A sad look is given to the apprentices, "They've made their decision. They will be loyal to their father's clan, and we will support them." Two more grandchildren, lost to the wrong side of a border. How many more will Howling Wind have to lose?

"We'll miss you both. So, so much," She then trills, grief swimming in green eyes as she moves to touch her nose to both Howlpaw's and Fireflypaw's noses. If you ever want to come back....No, she fights against the words she wants so desperately to say. The Warrior Code states they must remain loyal to one clan. She will not cause them more pain.​

 

[Fireflyglow]

WE'VE BEEN DOIN' ALL THIS LATE NIGHT TALKIN' ✧​

He felt out of place as he watched cats surround them, shifting uncomfortably on his paws- Shallowpaw seems to accept Howlpaw's words simply, a feeling that makes Fireflypaw lower his head in defeat. Surely his family would miss them, would be kind to them even though they chose another Clan over their birthplace. "I'm sorry," Fireflypaw chokes out, voice ragged and eyes so sullen from the loss of his sister. Shut-eye and tight-lipped, Fireflypaw listens as cats he knows and love come to say their goodbyes. Would Rowanbelly come? He wondered.. He never did get to train with his mentor yet, such a shame.

Do you know that if you leave, you'll not be part of this family anymore? Eyes shoot open wide, wincing as light hits them. "What-" Though, before he could panic out a response, his grandmother quells the anxiety with her own stern response. Of course they'll still be a part of our family, He exhales a shaky breath then, closing his eyes once more. His paw taps on the ground; one, two, three, four.. Breathe, calm down.. Everything was okay. These cats were family, they wouldn't hurt them.

Raccoon tries to reason with them, tell them to stay with their family- Firefly's expression twists into something similar to irritation and guilt as the same time. "SkyClan is our family, too. They might not be blood-related to us, but they're family too." He barely whispers, voice croaking and throat aching. Please, he just wanted this to be over with already. He wanted things to be happy again, for Morningpaw to wake up beside him so he could groom her coat every morning. Just like he used to. Howling Wind speaks up again, reminds them that they've made their decision- supports them. "I love you, gran.." He hiccups softly, tears beginning to well up at the corners of his eyes. "I'm gonna miss y'all, too.."​

 

[BURNSTORM]

The walk back to Thunderclan’s camp from four trees was not usually this long but the silence, so stifling it was hard to breathe, made it feel like it took moons. This gathering had felt like it had taken moons. He feels older now, more weary. He had not expected his siblings to have seen differently in their choices. Howlpaw, Fireflypaw. He feels as if they had sunk their claws directly into his heart and wrenched it even further into two. Sky Clan was the enemy, how could they not see that? How could they sit there and say that they were family too? His father he understands. He had to lead that band of psychopaths, was morally obligated to try and shape them into something better. But Howlpaw and Fireflypaw held no such obligations.

He refuses to look at any of them except Crescentpaw and his grandmother. Howlpaw and Fireflypaw were traitors in his eyes and when they reach the camp he cannot help but find himself nodding along to his uncles words, eyes narrowed with barely hidden disgust with his littermates. Fireflypaw in particular, who states that while Sky Clan is not blood they are still his family. He almost spits in disgust but opts to pull his lips back into a snarl instead. “Blood is thicker than water, brother” the last word is emphasized, punctuated in a selfish attempt to hurt. He doesn’t care. They were the selfish ones in his eyes. How could they? How could they just abandon their entire family. Thunder clan was their home, at least that’s the way he had always seen it. Sky Clan meant nothing to him outside of his father. His family, their family, was here in Thunder Clan. “You better pray to the stars we never meet in battle, I won’t hold my claws” he searches their eyes, looking for what he is not entirely certain. Regret, hesitation, reluctance. Perhaps they would change their minds when they saw how much their clan, their real family, was hurt by their decisions. They do not waver.

“Don’t scratch yourselves on the brambles on your way out” he says with a scoff before turning and stalking off to the apprentices den, to his nest. He felt like he could sleep for ages.

// out! Ic opinions of course (,: sorry for him ​

 

[Hollow Tree]

Hollow Tree had no issues with kittypets on a personal level. But she had been nervous when Little Wolf spent more and more time with Blazestar. How were they to know things would go so wrong. This was a lesson for both the clans with the kits having to take on the burden. She worried that Skyclan wouldn’t be kind to them. Hollow Tree didn’t know Skyclanners like she knew Thunderclanners. She hoped Blazestar will do right by watching over his kits.

The brown feline padded forward after being taken aback by Raccoonstripe’s and Burnpaw’s words. Didn’t they realize that this was better than them being ripped away from them like Morningpaw. Hollow Tree holds her tongue. This moment wasn’t about them, it was about Howlpaw and Fireflypaw. Aiming to press her nose against each of their foreheads. Her yellow eyes held grief but she was also proud.

“I wish we had gotten to spend more time together.” her voice breaks towards the end. But she gives them a cheery nod. “Howlpaw. Fireflypaw. You both are the best parts of Little Wolf and Blazestar.” though, she didn’t know their father as well as her sister. “This decision could not have been easy. I’m proud that you know where your home lies. It takes some cats many moons to realize where they belong.” Hollow Tree hopes her other kin will one day see how brave these cats were. “This isn’t goodbye forever,” one day they will all walk among the stars, “I fully expect you two to say hello at gatherings.”​

[ well i didn't tell anyone, but a bird flew by . tags ]​

 

[Howlfire]

She knew that the reactions would be mixed. She knew people would be unhappy. And still, it hurt.

Shallowpaw doesn't say much to her or Fireflypaw but seems to have otherwise accepted their departure. He simply says okay and that is all. Howlpaw doesn't expect anything else; it's not like they have ever spoken much to warrant any deep speeches between them. Still, she appreciates his otherwise quiet acceptance.

It is the reactions from her family that hurt her the most. For the most part, they seem to take it well, saddened as is to be expected, but otherwise understanding of the decision she and Fireflypaw made. Burnpaw and Raccoonstripe's reaction cut deeply. With her brother she almost expected it, but it still surprises her to hear his words, especially the comment about not holding back his claws. That stung the worse, like a claw digging into the skin. It's a mercy Burnpaw walked away, as, despite Hollow Tree's attempts to calm things, Howlpaw is of half a mind to yell at or chase after her brother. But her uncle is still here, and he gets given a tearful glare.

"We didn't ask for your approval, uncle," Howlpaw begins, practically spitting out the moniker for Raccoonstripe. "Regardless of your terrible opinion, you will always be my family. But Blazestar is our father, and also our family. And though we share no blood with SkyClan they are as much our family as our ThunderClan clanmates are." After saying her part, she turns back to the rest of her family and her expression softens. "I will miss you all so much," Howlpaw says her voice quivering. "But this isn't goodbye forever! We will see each other at gatherings. And I want to hear all about your lives and what you've been doing."​

 

[Sunfreckle]

He passes Burnpaw storming away, a tiny black blur escaping what was a painful situation and any other time he might have followed to talk to him but he also wanted to say goodbye. Eventually his steps would find him next to Shallowpaw who he glanced down to and offered a light smile before continuing onward.
It felt a little like watching his own kits leave the clan, something he felt he desperately would not have allowed no matter the protests. Part of him wanted to argue, to tell them they needed to stay in ThunderClan with their mother and her family because Blazestar had made his choice. A leader had chosen their clan over their kits when he could have simply stepped down and allowed his deputy to take the reigns, he could have come here instead, but by some reasoning he could not even begin to comprehend the ragdoll had picked SkyClan. Sunfreckle pondered it, knowing his loyalties lied fully with ThunderClan he could not imagine chosing anything but his family, but then again his family was all here.
Sunfreckle hobbles over, gives Raccoonstripe a brief dissapproving stare because he understands, but the tom's words are too cold and hard for such young cats. They weren't kittens anymore, but they still deserved some softness while they continued to grieve.

"You two...safe travels. Remember how loved you are, okay? Take care of eachother." It wasn't going to be the same, with the new code, eventually he could see them meeting in combat again and he felt a prickle of unease at the idea of it. If only they could add new laws like this one, a new message to not kill; so they would not have to bury another familiar child.


​

 

[HOWLINGSTAR]

Although Howling Wind scolds her son for his harsh words, she still visibly flinches when Fireflypaw and Howlpaw call SkyClan their family. She can't hide the hurt that flashes through her eyes. Family....no, Blazestar is their family. Their siblings, their uncles and aunts here, their grandmother...they are their family. To hear that an entire clan is put on the same pedestal as all of them...it hurts the she-cat more than words can say. The tabby swallows, attempting to blink away the tears in her eyes. "We'll miss you, too." She has to turn away as Hollow Tree and Sunfreckle mew their goodbyes, not wanting them to see the grief painted across her expression. Somehow, somewhere along the line, she had lost her grandchildren to SkyClan. They saw the kittypets as much as family as they saw her. They'd made their choice, no matter how it hurt.​