sensitive topics I'LL LET YOU BLEED ❥ open intro

I FIND COMFORT IN THE SOUND AND THE SHAPE OF THE HEART ⋆⁺₊⋆
/// Trigger warning of the following; mention of death, attempted suicide, and throw up

"Watch right there, Petal! There are the pointy things just below your paws!" Shouted a voice a few feet behind her, causing her to shift to the side away from the glass. "Thanks!" Shouted back Petalnose, muffled by the mewing ball of fur she was carrying. The wind pushed against their bodies, making their fur fly in every direction. It was a challenge to see and properly breathe, properly walking against it was a challenge as well. The breeze stung her nose and throat like needles, it was difficult to not direct her face in the other direction. The other warrior limped over to her side as she got to the road, directing their maw to her ear. "We'll take turns watching over each other. You go first, love since you got my darling." Her voice was motherly but shaken from anxiety, trying to muster up confidence she didn't have. Petalnose could pick up the shaken voice from over the wind, making her brows furrow with determination. "We got this. Starclan was graceful enough to us to keep us alive during the destruction. They'll protect us, it's not our time." She reassured, squinting to look in both directions. She gave the mother a reassuring glance before she moved forward with the kitten, trying her best to move fast, however, slow enough to not get caught by the wind.

It seemed like an eternity moving across the road, looking over her shoulder to check on the other female. She tensed up and widened her eyes as she saw her limping in her direction in a quickened pace, yelling something she couldn't quite make out until she looked up and understood. Her muscles tensed and her heart stopped. "I was wrong, we should've waited. Poor judgment leads to consequence, and most likely this poor kit's life." Then, her thoughts were interuppted as she was shoved out of the way, causing her to lose grip on the kitten and drop to the ground.

She opened her closed eyes and then they widened. Tears welled up in her eyes, not allowed to fall from the sharp winds battering at her cheeks. She couldn't speak, her stomach felt sick and all she could do was back away from the scene. Her heart raced more than it has ever had. She ran, stumbling and falling every now and then from the wind.

.....

She shot up from her sleep, her stomach feeling heavy with nausea. Petalnose hurried out of the medical den to remove the contents of her stomach, hunched over in pain. She gazed down at the contents, noting some yarrow and a small little piece of foxglove. It seemed to have been the remaining of whatever she didn't throw up earlier. However, she didn't remember throwing up beforehand and she didn't remember consuming the two. She looked up to look around. She didn't even know where she was. Her fur fluffed up in fear, embarrassment, and confusion and her claws dug into the ground below her. She stumbled with weakness and pain, "Why..? I don't.. want this." She whispered to herself, grinding her teeth in anger, and her heart racing. Guilt clogged up her mind and made her dizzy. Why did they want to save her? Why did they need to? Did she belong here?
 
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  • Crying
Reactions: BEESONG
beesong couldn't sleep. if he dared to let his eyes close, all he could see is red. it stains smokethroat's throat, pouring down his chest and forelegs, pools forming at his feet. everything is covered in crimson, and beesong sees it in his dreams. he would always startle awake after the life was drained from smokethroat's remaining eye, and hurry over to the lead warrior's nest to confirm that he was still breathing and his cobwebs were not soaked in his blood.

they give up on sleeping, after that. instead, beesong would focus their bleary vision on smokethroat's flanks, counting each shallow breath while forgetting to fill their own lungs with oxygen when there's too long of a pause. they'd made it to a hundred tonight before there's rustling elsewhere in the den, followed by hurried pawsteps and distant heaving. the suddenness of it forces their gaze away from smokethroat, a frown tugging tighter at their lips.

petalnose, beesong guesses before he's even up and on his paws, exiting his den shortly after the contents of her stomach have been emptied onto the ground. a reminder of earlier that day. petalnose collapsed and writhing, the remnants of deadly nightshade scattered around. it had been sheer luck that dawnglare had once given beesong yarrow that'd gone unused; yarrow and stinging nettle do not grow by the riverside, after all. without it, petalnose would've been growing cold in the ground.

he knows not her reasoning for consuming the deadly plant; whether it was by accident, for innocent curiosity's sake... or something more intentional. it worries him to think that it might be the latter. but whatever her reasoning is, now is not the time for questioning her on it. he has a job that he needs to do.

"how are you feeling?" beesong asks, voice seeming too loud in the quiet of the night. "no bellyaches, right?" they don't overhear her whispering, from the distance they keep. maybe that's for the better.

[ hi! just so you know, riverclan territory actually doesn't grow yarrow, but you don't have to change anything here! TT staff have given me permission to say that beesong had yarrow on-hand this time, but for the future, our site has a realistic herb tracking system which means medicine cats can only use herbs they have on-hand! it's recommended to check in with the clan's medicine cat before doing anything that could kill your OC (when that isn't the goal), like eating poison, so we can make sure they have the appropriate herbs to help as obviously we wouldn't want to accidentally kill anyone's character lol!

i loved your post btw, poor petalnose
😭 i wanna hug her ]
 
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I FIND COMFORT IN THE SOUND AND THE SHAPE OF THE HEART ⋆⁺₊⋆
//I'M SO SORRY!!! I haven't really seriously roleplayed here ever. I'm technically new to this all and learning. But feel free to pm if I get something wrong and I'll happily edit! I don't bite! My apologies, I feel so bad! ;-;

The brown tabby-patched female quickly set her sights upon Beesong, mouth gapping in confusion and fear. Her pupils dialated and her body fell low. Controlling her emotions was out of her character and Petalnose didn't exactly know how to react to the other warrior except for what she was feeling in the moment. Once that question was served towards her, she nearly busted out into tears. She hid her face under one paw for a moment as she wiped some away. "It.. kind of hurts. Right now.. you know, since I threw up. I think- it'll be gone in a moment." She explained a bit, giving a shaky breath. "I-I don't remember a lot." She admitted. "I don't really remember anything except for that night." She once again attempted to hide her tears, sniffling and clearing her throat. Come on, now, don't be a little kit. She straightened up slowly to sit, unfluffing her fur and shaking her head, shaking off some stress. She felt as if she wanted to lash out, anger burrowed in her small fragile bottle of emotions. Sadness already was seeping out of it. She didn't remember Beesong, to her, he was a stranger and she had no place to dump that type of emotion on a stranger. She had manners, atleast.

She decided not to explain her situation, or what had happened to cause her in to go into this type of distress. She feared of getting in trouble for running like a coward from the scene. Consequences or not, she would still likely get negative emotions from others. That was her little secret to herself, in sake of her fragile heart. Atleast for the moment. She didn't know if they even resided here. Guilt and anger towards herself welled up in her chest, anger for being saved did as well. She stared down at the contents from her stomach, furrowing her brows and mumbling words under her breath she could only make out.

 
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Glass-green eyes dart around the dark, little orange form scampering across the camp. She does not look at the stars as she passes beneath them.

She seeks out the cover of the medicine den, heart heavy and pounding hard. She's looking for Beesong. With all the time she spent here as a kitten, the den is almost as familiar to her as her own—and the scent of curly cinnamon fur almost as reassuring as her own mentor's.

The subject of her own nightmare snarls in her mind's eye, and she turns her gaze further toward the ground.

"Beesong," she calls into the dark, voice trembling. "Beesong...?"

But instead of finding him sleeping, where she might wriggle into his nest and hide beside him, Ashpaw finds the healer awake—outside the den—speaking in quiet tones to Petalnose, who responds through tears.

The little tabby stops in her tracks, eyes wide. Her gaze flicks from him to the sick young warrior to the mess on the ground to the beloved medicine cat.

"B-Beesong," she stammers, suddenly uncertain. She shouldn't just... leave, right? "Um—can—can I help? I can clean up or... or get, um, herbs for you."

Green eyes glimmer with concern as the little apprentice takes in Petalnose's state. "You look sad..." she whispers.


—— " i found gold in the wreckage "
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  • ooc text goes here

  • - 6 month old orange tabby with green eyes
    - apprenticed to lead warrior willowroot
    - happy-go-lucky, mischievous, hardworking
    - very friendly, but defensive of riverclan!
    - "speech"
  • - disclosed being physically and psychologically abused by Spiderfall, who was exiled & who then killed her best friend

    - temporarily apprenticed to npc pebbleskip due to willowroot moving into the nursery
 
Not one to doze off easily, Gloompaw had flattened her ears against the grating sound of heaving, but soon after she'd seen Beesong rise to his paws and voices outside, she followed. Even before she got to the entrance, the smell was strong. She braced herself and came to stand behind the scene.

In front of her, the contents of her stomach spilled. She had seen one of them, yarrow -- though it is rare to cycle through the stocks. The other reminded her of something Beesong had included in talks of what not to eat, ever. Gloompaw frowned heavily. Petalnose surely hadn't known it was dangerous.

Ashpaw was right, she looked miserable, though, and maybe not entirely because she'd eaten deadly flora. Rigid in her posture and unknowing the circumstance, the apprentice shuffled her mind for words to say. Instead, she turned, leaving without a word. Slinking back into the shadow of the den, she prayed Petalnose never noticed her arrival.

It took copious amounts of willpower to return, but she did so, soaked moss landing with a plop beside the warrior. "Water. A few sips?"
 

Dusting snow with sweeps of his tail to the edges of camp, Dogteeth is lost in his thoughts until the sounds of heaving and whispers bring his sights to Petalnose and Beesong. Shaking out his tail, the wide-eyed warrior pads close with a face crinkled in sympathy.

Dripping wet moss placed at the sick woman’s side, the dejected state of her is pointed out by Ashpaw, intuitiive little things children were. Herbs mixed in with stomach fluids lay on the ground and Dogteeth can’t help but wonder how deadly her situation could be considering the lack of prey. " It’s… uh- …. you’re going to be okay… it’s going… to be okay " he aims to gently put a paw on Petalnose’s shoulder.




  • — Dogteeth
    — twenty-five moons
    voice ref
    — warrior of Riverclan
    — gay | crushing on n/a
    — small curly-furred blonde and tan tom with blue eyes.
    — very gentle soul / easily upset and sensitive
    — deals a nasty bite
    BIOGRAPHY——— ✧
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I FIND COMFORT IN THE SOUND AND THE SHAPE OF THE HEART ⋆⁺₊⋆
The number of cats approaching made her feelings hard to control. As Ashpaw pointed out her emotions, more sadness seeped through and what might've been a few tears turned drastically into uncontrollable sobs. They were a mix of anger and sadness. Her gut hurt from the emotions and her heart physically ached from it. She knew she probably seemed dramatic in some eyes, but she was just sensitive. She was glad they hadn't known the deep reason of what caused her to go into her state. It was embarrassing to show herself in this state, even more so to show to a younger being. She knew they were so capable of sensing emotions, and when she first saw Ashpaw she knew she was doomed. She couldn't answer her behind her sobs, neither did she know what to speak back to the apprentice.

She heard the paw prints of another and the sound of soaked moss set near her paws. She sniffled and looked up from her teary eyes at Gloompaw and then immediatley down at the moss. Petalnose nodded slowly in thanks but put a paw out to motion she needed a moment to collect herself. She tried to breath in and out, but couldn't hold it for the life of her.

She didn't look up when she heard another set of paw prints, her fur starting to fluff again in embarrassment. Sulking more to the ground as she felt a paw on her shoulder. She felt an immense amount of sadness and fear but there was some comfort knowing they were at her side trying to make her situation better without knowing. It was sweet. Maybe she did belong here but from the majority of her memories being washed away, she wasn't certain. "I- I don't k-know where I a-am.." She croaked from her sobs, breathing in and out shakily, clearing her throat, "I don't k-know much." she let out more clearly, trying to blink her tears away. She knew they all couldn't do anything for her memory loss but answer her questions, so she had no choice but to rely and trust them to answer them truthfully. There could be a chance she was a prisoner of some kind, but from how good-natured their actions were she was starting to doubt it.


 
she startles, and beesong wonders if he'd spoken too loudly; it's hard to gauge that, when one ear's ripped completely away from his flesh. he decides that he must've, when others begin pouring from the dens. dogteeth, gloompaw... even little ashpaw, who stammers something about helping clean up the mess. beesong only laughs, the sound carrying no amusement. "no- that's my job." gross as it is to most cats... it doesn't phase beesong. not anymore, at least. you've dealt with so much worse. cleaning up someone's sick isn't something to complain about.

petalnose states that it hurts, and beesong's left to assume that she means her stomach. it makes sense; yarrow isn't exactly easy on the digestive tract. a bellyache seems like a fair trade-off for expelling the poison from one's body, though. still, they'll offer relief to her for her to take, if she so pleases. that's their job, repeats their mind. "mallow leaves will help, if you want." they wouldn't make a move to fetch the mentioned herbs until petalnose gives the okay to do so.

gloompaw comes with a soaked moss ball, presenting it to the sick she-cat to drink from. but petalnose motions to wait, tears collecting in glossy eyes. beesong's mouth pulls into a thin line, the ache from his jaw ever-present as it clenches. she's falling into a panic, and as soon as ashpaw points out that petalnose seems sad, it appears that what's left of the frantic warrior's self-control is shattered. she's beginning to weep uncontrollably, body shaking from the force of her sobs. between her gasps for breath, she reveals that she doesn't know where she is. beesong bites the inside of his cheek, exhaling sharply through his nose. amnesia...? that's outside of his realm of knowledge- he's unsure if that's something herbs could even help with. the best he can do, for the gaps in her memory, is try to fill them.

"breathe. deep breaths, in and out," beesong hums, demonstrating with their own breathing. deep inhale- one, two, three, they count- slow exhale. practiced to the point of perfection, the healer seems to be no stranger to meditative breathing. "you're in the wetlands, where riverclan calls home. do you hear the trickling of water?" they're trying to ground her, give her something to latch onto before she spirals further. "that's the river that protects us, in our camp." it didn't protect pumpkinpaw, their brain reminds, a sharp stab to their chest.

[ don't worry about it!! it's an easy mistake to make <3 ]