I'll meet judgement ✶ Cherrypaw

[Owlheart]

It was a rare thing for Owlpaw to change her thoughts on something, partially because she was stubborn, in reality it was because she feared the reality of her being wrong about something. After talking with Crowpaw she had realised that she was wrong about him, with that revelation came the confronting realisation that she enjoyed spending time with him. That had blossomed to feelings of affection, although she had yet to find the words to explain it this relationship in her eyes was changing to be something romantic. Despite these new feelings for her, the core of her initial conflict when first speaking with him was that she didn’t understand how this came from someone that her sister wasn’t friends with anymore. He was nice and funny, at least Owlpaw thought so, so why didn’t Cherrypaw want to be around someone like that anymore? Originally she had assumed that the rupture in their friendship was caused by Crowpaw acting unjustly or harshly towards her sister, but now she wasn’t so sure.

Usually the red tabby tried to stay out of matters like this, while she enjoyed knowing the goings on of everyone around camp she rarely inserted herself into said goings on. The date with Crowpaw had changed that for her though, she wanted to continue seeing him. Doing so would eventually make their involvement public knowledge, she wanted the opportunity to talk with her sister before that happened. Maybe if she could just understand what was going on here and talk to her sister about it then the news wouldn’t potentially feel like a betrayal. At the end of the day, she had decided beforehand that she wasn’t going to choose one or the other, for once Owlpaw wanted to be selfish and have both Cherrypaw and Crowpaw in her life. There was optimism that this conversation would allow her to have this one thing. That was just in the worst case scenario though, maybe there wasn’t an actual issue that needed to be addressed and she was overthinking it.

“Cherrypaw, could I speak with you privately?” her mouth felt dry as soon as she started talking to the calico. It was a strange feeling, she wasn’t usually nervous around her family. There were a lot of changes going on lately though, she should have expected this to be one of them. She turned to walk towards the outskirts of camp, hoping that Cherrypaw would follow. Her direction was towards the back of camp, where it was a little quieter this time of day. Owlpaw anticipated for the conversation to be a rather uncomfortable one so she wanted to be somewhere where there was less foot traffic. There was a lower chance of being heard while not leaving the safety that camp inherently brought, the last thing she wanted was some outside force to interrupt them.

There was so much she wanted to say yet there was the pesky limitation of her brain not wanting to connect to her voice. She cleared her throat, trying to combat that dry feeling in her throat that wouldn’t go away. “I’ve been speaking with Crowpaw, he uh gave me a feather.” That wasn’t how this was supposed to start, she bit back a scowl at her own floundering to start this in what would be deemed the correct way. “I was wondering how you felt about him, I know you two haven’t been friends for a while now.” She couldn’t manage to look at her sister for very long, the idea of having a conversation like this was a lot easier than actually acting it out.

“I-I think he’s nice, kind, I was just curious about why you two don’t really talk anymore.” It felt like she was confessing to some grievous sin, like she had broken the warrior code somehow by liking a tom that wasn’t friends with her sister.

@Cherrypaw ​

 

[Cherryblossom]

A single, black-shaded brow arches, the metaphorical hand stilling in the air moments before taking the invitation. Cherrypaw levels with her before speaking, sunshine gaze narrowing slightly. ”Okay…?” Laced in her drawl is confused, concerned scrutiny. At least she has the sense not to question her about it till after they’re secluded. It’s obvious to anyone her sister is already straining to tell her, desire bulging through whatever hideous blanket of discomfort she’s allowed to be draped over herself. Cherrypaw could hardly relate. She’d say so if she thought it needed to be said, or so she thinks.

Cherrypaw takes a seat with the tabby, neatly wrapping her plumy tail over her paws. Seen without color, they look startlingly similar: the same wide shoulders, the same calloused pads, the same stressors pulling at the youthful planes of their faces. Owlpaw makes an ugly, scratchy sound. Cherrypaw prepares for the news to be the same.

She is…let down, a little bit. Part of her had been hoping for something bigger. Better. ”So what?” her unimpressed gaze says. Her sister’s twin gaze falls to the floor and stays there, as though she’d just confessed something shameful. And maybe it is a little embarrassing, treating a meager gift as some claw-chewing, tail-flicking, all-consuming news. Yes, it should be a little embarrassing how the slightest shred of attention could make a sister of hers crumble so.

One side of her mouth quirks. Then she laughs, a paw fluttering up to cover it as she remembers Owlpaw’s nonsensical self-consciousness. ”Owlpaw, I’m going to be honest: I don’t know why you care,” she meows drily. ”So what, you caught the attention of the little weirdo.” A grin spreads on her maw, toothy and wry.

The calico shrugs, feathered locks rippling around her shoulders. ”I was friends with him as a kit. We just…grew apart as apprentices, I guess. Silversmoke and Slate hate each other.” She twirls a strand of fur around a toe, eyes drifting past her littermate and up the swelling banks of fern and bramble behind camp.

Crowpaw’s spats with Lupinepaw had not gone unmissed; some best friend she would be, if she couldn’t remember a thing from all of Lu’s venting. It was none of her business, anyway. Their non-relationship wasn’t a bad one, but their lack of one entirely could not be said to be good either.

And yet, she would be doing him a disservice if she couldn’t recall any good at all. Blazestar’s death still haunts them. Bobbie’s numbed, tear-soaked face is branded in the inside of her skull, her horrors so shattering she didn't spare a thought for her kittens on her way to the medicine den. It was Crowpaw whose paw lay atop hers in that moment, his smoky fur pressing against her own as though they were again kits, huddling in the midnight nursery while WindClan clawed soundlessly at their borders, trying to comfort her though she hardly needed it.

”I dunno. I don’t hate him, if that’s what you’re asking. It's not, like, a big deal.” she decides. Cherrypaw suddenly makes a face. ”Why don’t you ask him?”​

 

[Owlheart]

While her sister reacted quickly to cover up her laugh it wasn’t hard for Owlpaw to have heard it. Her stomach somehow plummets and flips at the same time, despite her best attempts to not let her embarrassment show her tail lashes at the stray dry leaves beside her. It was embarrassing to say the least, for a moment she considered conceding here and not bringing anything up further. Despite that, her care for her sister's potential feelings overtake any form of embarrassment that may wash over her. She wanted to press on even if Cherrypaw didn’t think of it as a big deal.

It stung a little, hearing Crowpaw be referred to as a ‘little weirdo’, never one to fault her sister though the tabby assumed that it was meant to be endearing rather than anything uglier. It hung heavy on her mind as she considered her littermates' reasoning for how they grew apart into apprentice hood. “Do they? I don’t really pay attention to that…” she trailed off, pressing a paw against her maw in thought. She had gathered that the two didn’t like each other, anyone who had been part of the camp for a moon minimum could be able to tell that much at least. Still, Owlpaw always thought of Cherrypaw as someone who was independent; she didn’t think that Slate’s opinion on anyone would really affect how she thought.

It was relieving to hear that she didn’t hate him though, that was a worst case scenario. Truthfully the apprentice wasn’t sure what she would have done if her sister did hate him. There was no point in tying herself up in knots in thought over something that seemed to not be an issue. Just as she reorganised her thoughts and tried to figure out where to go from here Cherrypaw’s question brought hers thoughts to a halt, why hasn’t she asked him? “You're my sister Cherry, I wanted to ask you first.”

The answer came easily, still, this was eventually going to have to be a conversation between herself and Crowpaw, she knew that. At this moment though she wanted to prioritise her sister “He… He doesn't seem mad? when talking about you, not that you seem mad. So I'm sure he'll probably say the same thing you have, I'll make sure to ask him too though” she was talking to herself mostly at this point, rambling her thoughts out loud sometimes helped clear her head. The most obvious answer was usually there when Owlpaw vocalised it after all. This time there wasn't really any kind of answer made clear to her, just parroting back what she had already thought before this conversation. That’s what she did best after all, mirroring the thoughts of those around her and running herself in a mental circle until she grew weary.

A storm of thoughts started to thrash around her mind, ranging from relief of this revelation that there seemed to be no animosity to panic as she thought about how to phrase what was coming next. She was eerily quiet for a minute, ramblings ceased as she tried to piece together what to say next.

“I like Crowpaw, we uh... We went on a date and I wanted you to be the first to know - apart from mum of course” She wasn't sure what had possessed her to confess like that. While she had been trying to piece together it felt like something else had moved her mouth before her, her brain catching up to the words moments afterwards. Owlpaw looked up in an attempt to meet her sister's gaze, trying to read anything from her expression that Cherrypaw may not say with words. “That’s why I care.”​