camp I'M GETTING OLDER &. missing wife hours

[CHILLEDSTAR.]

DON'T YOU GIVE ME UP, PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP​

---

when the rogues plagued the lands, they hurt everything in their path. sure, they might have just been hungry or looking for a place to belong, but that mattered not to chilledstar. they were not apart of shadowclan, and if they were not a shadowclanner, then chilledstar has no obligations to them. they don't have to care. they never would. and the hurt continues, because ever since they let the other clans within their territory, geckoscreech went missing. they don't know where she is. they've looked. endlessly. tiredly. it was all for naught. they couldn't find her. they can't find her. and they never let anyone ask them if they were okay, or even let themself fall into a pit of despair about it. it's hard not to, now, that they can't leave camp.

they stare at the piece of prey that's been brought to them, and they're suddenly not hungry anymore. their gaze is unfocused, and they stare off into nothingness, almost like they're not present at all. they're quiet, which isn't unusual but to this extent surely is unnerving. they take a few seconds, ears pinning back as they lift their head to turn to the cat next to them.

"do you think she's safe?"

it takes them a second to realize that this cat wouldn't know who they're talking about, after having not said anything.

"geckoscreech. she's been gone for moons... do you think she's okay?"

they don't think she is. but maybe they just want to be lied to.
​

 

[Needledrift]

They are laid out at the mouth of the nursery, a quiet moment of companionship that seems to fan out in front of the pair like the feathers of a dove's tail. There had been a handful of these moments that Needledrift had shared with her leader since the birth of her youngest children, a handful of moments that felt very new and so very familiar at the same time, like leafing through memories on a warm summer night.

"Geckoscreech was always one of our most accomplished warriors." The queen offered after a moment of thought. "If Dogfur could find his way home, if Chi-" She gulps, the name catching in her throat. Chittertongue had been dead for weeks now, but still she found herself talking as if he were only rambling, wandering the unclaimed lands north of the ShadowClan border for some sort of treasure or meaning to life. It sent a pang straight through her heart to realize her mistake in real time.

"I think she will come home. After the journey, nothing seems too far-fetched to me." speech is in #B9D0F5​

​

 

[orchidbloom]

Orchid does not mean to overhear her leaders... private conversation with Needledrift, something that sends her mind in to a spiral as she nearly chokes on the mouse she had been eating. If Chilledstar knows... Would I be in trouble? Needledrift murmurs something back and momentarily she watches them talk.

She should ignore them. Pretend that nothing happened because truly it isnt their business at all... But Orchid is a people-pleaser, and hearing the empty despair in Chilledstars tone begins to break their heart in two. Orchidpaw does not know of loss, but they do know that if Raggedpaw were to go missing, their one true solace, escape from the hustle and bustle of camp, disappeared they'd go mad with their grief.

"Ge-a-c-" they choke on their words at first, face burning as they stumble over and over. "Geckoscreech is a, uh.. A good warrior, uhm... I'm- I'm sure shes fine. She'll uh, uh- she'll show up again. Sure of it." they try to offer as totally-not-an-eavesdropper, blue gaze avoiding the pair that they totally did not just intrude on. Its all Orchid offers as she begins to chomp back in to her mouse, feeling totally not hungry anymore.

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ- info

• ❝ i smile because i want to, i smile because you want to. ❞
  ❥ orchidkit, orchidpaw
  ❥ afab ,, she/they ,, 13 months
  ❥ apprentice of shadowclan ,, mentored by forestshade
  ❥ lanky yet fluffy cinnamon smoke she-cat with wide violet eyes
  ❥ "speech, d1afed" ,, thoughts
  ❥ bisexual ,, single
  ❥ smells like lilies and iris'

​

 

[ONYXPAW]

I WISH YOU COULD SEE THE WICKED TRUTH — Onyxpaw - Onyxkit, at the time - had been far too young to truly process all that had been going on when the rogues had invaded the clan territories. Her eyes had barely been opened then, a mere scrap squished in between her mother and father as they worked overtime to ensure that the one kit that had been left with them would be allowed to thrive. Their efforts had at least paid off for her to be where she was now, though her youth meant that she had little idea of who Chilledstar was talking about. She could've sworn she had heard the name Geckoscreech before, but only from the muzzles of warriors far older than her. Usually in a tone of hushed reminiscence, as if they were talking about someone who was long dead.

But if Chilledstar was asking about her, then surely that couldn't be that case - right?

Needledrift and Orchidpaw seemed to echo the sentiment that Geckoscreech surely wasn't just dead in the dirt somewhere, Onyxpaw nodding their head along with them as she approached. For once she seemed less nervous than someone else, Orchid's worries about eavesdropping not being shared by her younger companion. "I never really got to know Geckoscreech, but... if everybody else thinks that she could come home, then I think that they're right." The fluffy chimera sounded more sure than she truly felt considering her limited knowledge, but Chilledstar seemed like they needed the reassurance. "Starclan will guide her paws back to us, that's practically their job." She found herself clinging to her faith like a lifeline, even in spite of the recent wounds that Nettlepaw's death had inflicted on it.

CAUGHT UP IN A RUSH ✦ IT IS KILLING YOU

• 

• 
  ✧ shorthaired tortoiseshell point and chocolate point chimera with blue eyes
  ✧ 5 moons old; ages the 1st every month
  ✧ bisexual; crushing on yellowpaw
  ✧ daughter of monarchroot and sleetjaw
  ✧ shadowclan born; silently loyal to her home
  ✧ difficult to befriend; shy to most except yellowpaw
  ✧ "speech", thoughts, attacking
  ✧ peaceful powerplay allowed

​

 

[RIBBITLEAP]

His mother is gone. Has been for a while. Just like his brother, just like his aunt, his grandfather, his cousins, she is void from his life. Ribbitleap has only grown reclusive in the wake of her disappearance, a mind distracted though he tries to push forward. Swamp-green eyes only dart around the marshes on patrols, only truly focus on shadows in the distance in search of a familiar form — of evidence that his mother is still out there, somewhere.

She has to be, Ribbitleap insists to himself. She has to be. But he fears still — for Geckoscreech wouldn’t have left him, right? Geckoscreech wouldn’t have left Chilledstar.

And he should speak to them, to his leader, his… whatever the black and white cat was meant to be to him. They must be hurting too, but every time he wanders toward Chilledstar’s den, he can’t bring himself to step foot in it. To share his mourning with another, he can’t bear his own grief’s weight on a clanmate, let alone ShadowClan’s leader.

But he hears his mother’s name. For what feels like the first time in moons, his mother’s name graces the air, a question held in Chilledstar’s voice to Needledrift. Do you think she’s safe?

“ She has to be, “ Ribbitleap interjects his mantra into the conversation, grief-struck eyes shifting to look at Chilledstar — a frosted gaze he’s been avoiding for moons, now marred by scars upon scars upon scars. Did they know something he didn’t, if they pose such a question. “ She’s my mom, she has to — she has to come back. She will. She’s… She’s strong. “ At one point, Leaping Toad was too, he remembers with a sinking heart. ​

✦ ABOUT

• 

  FROG'S RIBBIT ‣ RIBBITPAW ‣ RIBBITLEAP
  ── Warrior of ShadowClan
  
  ── Geckoscreech x Toad's Prowl
  ── AMAB; He/Him
  ── A brown tabby tom with green eyes.
  ── Mentored by Rustleap
  ── "Speech"; Attack​

​

 

[lilacfur]

Geckoscreech had been a staple pillar of support in ShadowClan since the leaders ever held a personal council. Among the first to originally hold the title of Lead Warrior, Lilacfur often looked up to her for her show of strength and will in any challenge. Ready to face against the wrath of whatever confronted ShadowClan, she wanted to be just like that.

Then she stepped down, disappeared and not a single hair of Geckoscreech had been seen or heard since. Now she stood in the very same position the she-cat had left, and she was another face in the Clan that wouldn't see it.

"She's smart, knows how to survive." Lilacfur spoke up as she listened to Needledrift and the apprentices. Admitting losing faith for any of their lost Clanmates was an acceptance that they were dead, and she couldn't let go of that just yet. Not if it meant accepting Roosterstrut as the same.

"But that doesn't mean you should put your life on hold waiting for her to come back. It's alright to move forward and still wait for her." Chilledstar had a pattern for becoming a recluse in the moment of personal adversity. Lilacfur had grown so used to it she was actually surprised to see them speaking to someone about it still moons after her scent was lost from camp. "We can wait for them together, too." She quickly added, thinking a short prayer for her friends safety.

Ribbitleap joined with his own insistence and she nodded in understanding. They still had to have hope. For what little ShadowClan truly had, hope was one thing they could keep.​

[ i need the clouds to cover me ]​

 

[CHILLEDSTAR.]

DON'T YOU GIVE ME UP, PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP​

---

maybe... maybe they didn't want to be lied to after all. it doesn't fix anything. she's still gone and they don't know if she will ever come back. needledrift briefly mentions chittertongue but that doesn't help either. he came back, only to die. he was gone and he truly was not coming back. and stars, apprentices were comforting them. them. they, who should have been the pinnacle of comfort for apprentices, were being comforted themself by them. their stomach hurts. they're not sure they want to be vulnerable anymore. to show emotions. to talk. stars, why does anyone ever want to talk about shit like this? everytime they try, it just fucking hurts. their eyes widen, however, at the familiar voice of ribbitleap. oh... stars. they never once stopped thinking how he felt about it. they did kind of just... swoop in. took his mom for a mate and though they tried to get to know him better, care for him like they cared for her, he did not make it easy. maybe they should have made more of an effort. they will. no matter what.

"r...right. ribbitleap i'm so sorry... above me, you've lost her, too. if she comes home for anyone i know it would be for you. she's always talking... talked... about you in such high regard. her son, she says. wherever she is... i know she's thinking about you."

maybe that would provide some comfort. they can only hope.

"it seems wrong to move on, lilacfur. i love her. always will. never thought i would before her and yet..."

something tells them that she wouldn't want them sulking around for her. she's never been that type of molly. they can almost hear her voice telling them to hold their chin up, if they close their eyes for long enough.

"i... will try. for her. to move on. hopefully she realizes i will never love anymore more than i love her and i always will wait for her."
​