pafp I'M [NOT] READY TO GO // a death

[Scarletpaw]

// please wait for @mottledpaw and @Meadowpaw to post!
This takes place immediately after the uprising, as the dust begins to clear. Lightstrike is dead with Oliver's blessing :(

It's over. But for three young cats, another journey has just begun. Scarletpaw stands frozen, her breath catching in her throat as the rain dims to a light sprinkle around them. The air is thick with the scent of blood, with the hammering of chaos, the ring of battle still in her ears. Her paws feel like stones as she slowly approaches a sickeningly familiar cream form, now matted with blood and dirt. The world around her becomes blurry, because now all she can see is her father's body lying splayed out before her, horribly still. The life in Lightstrike's eyes is gone, leaving only the shell of the cat she'd once looked up to, snuggled up to, played with...

"Dad?" Her voice is barely a whisper, hoarse and trembling as she crouches beside him. Her nose presses into his cooling fur, the usual warmth that always radiated from him gone. She half-expects to feel his chest rise beneath her touch, expects him to stir and reassure her like he always had, but there is nothing. Only silence. Tears well up in her eyes, clouding her vision as reality sinks in. Lightstrike is dead. Her father is gone, killed by the very cats she had sided with at the beginning of all this madness. The tortoiseshell's stomach twists painfully, guilt clawing at her insides. "I'm sorry..." The words fall from her mouth in a strangled sob. "I-I didn't...I didn't mean to..." The tears now spill down her cheeks as she presses her entire face into her father's fur, her whole body trembling. She had betrayed him. He had always fought for the good, and instead she'd followed her uncle. She'd followed evil.

Scarletpaw's claws sink into the earth. She should have stayed by his side. She should have followed his example above everyone else's. She shouldn't have let herself be swept up in her mother's hatred, in Skyclaw's lies, in the promise of power and glory and strength. And now, it's too late. Yes, she'd ended up switching sides in the end, but what did it matter? She had already lost her second parent. I want my mom and dad. ​

 

[Meadowpaw]

Soft pawsteps bring Meadowpaw to stand at the shoulder of her sister, green eyes glazed over as she looks down at the cat who lays before her. The cat. the body because her brain cannot well and truly believe that this is real. Her father, her mother, two of the strongest cats she had ever known could not actually be gone. She opens her mouth to say something, but the words falter upon her tongue, thick and cloying, she cannot get them past the lump in her throat.

Should she be crying? She looks at Scarletpaw. Her sister was pressing her nose into their fathers cream-colored pelt, tears flowing from her eyes as she murmurs an apology. But even when she tries she cannot summon the tears, the grief that she knows should be there. In it's place is a certain hollowness, an empty, distant, feeling as she stares and stares and stares.

Like she's not even here. That's what she feels when she looks down at her father's face, his green eyes glassy and staring up at a sky he would never again in life get to see. She hears cats start to move around her, to murmur their condolences perhaps, but they all sound so far away, so distant in comparison to the roaring of her heart in her ears.

Was she terrible for not crying? For feeling emptiness where she knows there should be grief? She loved her father, his visits to the nursery always something she looked forward to because of the way her mothers face would alight whenever she saw him, because of the way he seemed to fill a room with his presence and gone were the days where she could pester him for badger rides, gone was the idea that he would be there at her warrior ceremony, looking upon her and her sisters with so much pride. She had not imagined a future in which he was not in it. So why couldn't she cry?

( ❀༉ ) there's love in the lightning ₊˚༉‧₊˚

• 
  
  
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  MEADOWPAW THUNDERCLAN KITTEN ; SHE / HER
  LIGHTSTRIKE X MOONWHISPER SISTER TO SCARLETPAW & MOTTLEDPAW ; MENTORED BY PALEFIRE
  

  A large fluffy red tabby kitten with a white chest, stomach, tail, muzzle and stripe running along her back. Her eyes are a deep, forest, green and in her pelt one can usually find flowers woven

  ✦ easy in battle + no formal training
  

​

 

[mottledpaw]

· · ───────────── ·𖥸· ───────────── · ·

The branches had snapped under pressure.... the direction of the waters shifted in the heat of the moment. Though none of them had fostered the same change of heart from the same sources, each had realized in the high tide that reached up to their necks that they'd been misled. Nightbird's words ring like alarm bells in her head as she shambles towards the shuddering figures of her sisters.... "You don't want this?.... You started this..." Summerset eyes fixate on the sandy hills of her father's body, stained the same color as the paw that had drawn the dark-furred molly's blood. Her claws feel sticky and uncomfortable, weighted by her choice and burdened with its permanence.

Maybe this was justice. Punishment.

For the blood she spilled, the blood she'd condoned spilling.... Kin for kin. All her efforts to cling to tiny pieces of her mother, ungrateful for the shining presence of her father. He'd been shadowed by Moonwhisper's loss, taken for granted... and now?

Meadowpaw is frighteningly still, eyes wide and pupils narrowed to tiny points. Whatever plagues her head, runs rampant in vicious circles, she doesn't share with them and cannot seem to wear it on her face either. Scarletpaw's whimpering is all that registers anyways... apologies and mirroring of the same argument she'd offered Nightbird: "I didn't mean to."

Faces of her den-mates, those that loathe and spit at her, their snickering is so loud (are they even watching? Does she just imagine their sneers?) it borders on deafening. They must take joy in this... must think it fitting for her crimes. I thought I was doing what was right.... Because that's what she'd been told. She'd just been trying to hold onto that tiny spark from her mother. Her sense of pride... Like it might carry her into warriorhood and might put her soul to rest through the actions of her only children.

It was for nothing. Pride had rotted into cruelty... It soured her memory. And put an end to his.

"Who.... who did this," she asks, voice hoarse with the struggle to fight back tears. Did she deserve to mourn him? "You started this." She blinks as the dams burst, grappling with her guilt, feeling suddenly like the crimson on her paw is his. Had she killed him, in some indirect way? "W-why him," Mottledpaw begs for understanding, legs growing weaker as she sinks to crouch next to them- Why Lightstrike, who'd only ever been a presence of radiance and gentleness...? The only one left to kiss the top of their heads at night and tell them they were loved. The last one that trusted they'd turn out alright, even if they stumbled and got lost along the way?

It was over. Their advocate. Their hero. Their protector...

"Please... come back," the dappled she-cat whines softly, a much smaller version of herself. The tiny, burr-furred girl that had chased him into the camp so their mother could nap. The one that had crawled over top of him and pronounced her victory hunting him like he were a mouse. The littlest version of Mottledpaw... the one who wasn't an orphan and never thought she might be.​

 

[beetlepaw]

For a long few moments, Beetlepaw is relieved. He's relieved that the battle is over, that Roeflame is on piece, that his father isn't dead- he had celebrated with them already, a reuniting moment with his mother, before parting with them to see the rest of camp. And his joy stopped there, seeing three siblings gathered around a cooling body. He swallowed gently, mirrored green eyes widening as Beetlepaw came to a stop.

Lightstrike lay dead before them- Scarletpaw is crying. Mottledpaw's voice was full of tears. Meadowpaw, empty, silent. His ear twitched and turned- an evil part of him thought quietly why couldn't you see that joining Skyclaw did this to him? To your own father? Your own kin? That was swept away quickly, and he approaches on mostly silent paws, ears flattened backwards and swallowing around a lump in his throat.

Just this once, he has pushed aside the rivalry he has with Mottledpaw. He pushes away any ill intent that was leveraged against them just moments ago. When he speaks, he thinks he doesn't want to be as mean as he sounds. He doesn't want to be the one to throw that dagger-claw into their heart. "He's dead. He's not... coming back." Beetlepaw say, his jaw working, his ears laying backwards. When he speaks again, he's softer, trying to channel ever bit of kindness he can- it's not working. It's not working.

"We'll... let's make sure he gets a good vigil." Beetlepaw says, eyes lifting to the three siblings, scanning their faces again. Committing this to mind- this is what it looks like when karma comes back around on them. He inhales sharply, then settles a huff, a sharp one.

He decides he's terrible at comforting other cats.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ┌── KEEP YOUR APOLOGY ⋅❁⋅ GIVE US MORE DETONATION ──┐‎

• "speech"
  

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• BEETLEPAW he/him, apprentice of thunderclan, six moons.
  ⭃ LH black smoke with bright green eyes. growing into a very broad and built tom-cat, mirroring his father's build. of average height, with a shit-eating grin more often then not.
  ⭃ being mentored by burnstorm / / mentoring no one
  ⭃ no romantic interests / / BURNSTORM X ROEFLAME - sibling to dovepaw and littlepaw, adoptive sibling to hopepaw and coalpaw
  ⭃ peaceful and healing powerplay permitted / / underline and tag when attacking
  ⭃ penned by dallas ↛ dallasofnines on discord, feel free to dm for plots.
  

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[Bugpaw !]

*+:｡.｡ Although Bugpaw had never known her father, losing him had still somehow hurt. Although she'd never heard his voice, or known his face, or felt the soft touch of his hugs and fur, the longing to have one chance to experience any of that gnawed at her ever since she could remember. Even so, losing a father she never met paled in comparison to the fear she felt of almost losing her mother. To never hear that laugh again, never see her smile, never watch her brows scrunched in anger or her eyes light up with an amused surprise or watch the sun set her pelt aflame or feel her gentle touch when she comforts Bugpaw and praises her for her accomplishments.

Bugpaw had almost become an orphan herself during thunderclan's civil war...But Meadowpaw had.

The pain beneath her mass of ivory fur was indescribable.
Blood coated her home, bodies littered all around, and though many of them had been the cats who had caused this tragedy, her heart still ached for each former clan member who would never breathe again. Bugpaw was still panting after the fight, her muscles raging beneath her skin with an insistent cry for restful salvation. But now wasn't the time for that. She had cats to check up on, people to ensure weren't hurt she...she...

Her eyes fell on Meadowpaw and her siblings, who they all surrounded, and promptly forgot how to breathe.

Bugpaw's steps are slow, her brain fuzzy and distant. 'Dow...'Dow...'Dow is the only thought that breaches her fog as her friend stands so stiff amidst her crying siblings, looking as though a gentle shove at any moment will shatter her. Bugpaw doesn't need to be a genius to know Meadowpaw is devastated. Meadowpaw's lack of tears doesn't sway Bugpaw. The blue tortie knows a worse storm is brewing. When that time comes, she just hopes Meadowpaw won't be afraid to seek shelter among her family members - with her friends.

In the meantime...

Bugpaw sits beside Meadowpaw and wraps her thick tail fiercely around her best friend, pressing her nose into Meadowpaw's scruff. She doesn't know what to say. 'Dow...'Dow...'Dow... is all she can think. She wonders, body trembling beneath her fur, if that's what Lightstrike's last thought was, too. Meadowpaw, Mottledpaw, Scarletpaw, I'm so sorry Bugpaw thinks.

Take care of Lightstrike, pappa, please

*+:｡.｡ Updated 3/22/24

• 
  
  
• 
  
  
  GENERAL:
  ♫ Bugpaw
  ♫ DFAB— She/Her
  ♫ 6 moons — Ages
  ♫ Daughter to Flamewhisker and Flycatcher
  ♫ Sibling to Falconheart, Stormfeather, Lilykit, Butterflykit, Scorchedpaw, Squirrelpaw, Sunpaw
  ♫ Thunderclan — apprentice
  ♫ Apprenticed to Falconheart
  
  
  
  
  COMBAT:
  ♫Physically easy | mentally easy
  ♫ Attack in bold pink
  injuries: None currently

​

 

[nightbird]

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆ the rain had been reduced to gentle pattering in her ears, it had served its purpose drowning out the sounds of battle. they all had done their part, skyclaw was dead, thunderclan was free. but the moment was not a weight lifted from her shoulders. those that remained gathered in different spots of the clearing with hunched backs, necks craning to press their nose into those they had lost one more time.

she spots mottledpaw, scarletpaw, and meadowpaw on her way back to the nursery, and the sting across her nose seems paused at the sight of a limp white tipped tail between them all. there is lead in her paws as nightbird treads closer, her breath shallow under a heaviness that seemed to crush her ribs. they were upset, lightstrike slain at their small paws. for a moment, nightbird feels no bigger or older than any of the cats grieving at his flank.

there were so many times he should have died. in the mountains when he darted onto the thunderpath, when rocks fell from the sky. even the time he had dragged himself back to camp, pelt torn into ribbons by some overzealous windclanner. yet, he didn't. too stubborn to die, she once thought. but now, her first apprentice was well on his way to join her second's side in starclan. the thought has nightbird sucking in a choking breath.

"i'm sorry," she bites out with a heavy tongue. for what? because he died fighting for his clan- because that's what she taught him to do? theres a taste in her mouth more bitter than the blood coating her teeth. nightbird shifts back on her heels with flattened ears, desperate to look anywhere else than the sickeningly lifeless body before her. his children needed time to grieve, her own were waiting on her for answers, comfort. but she couldn't leave, not yet, not with paws that threatened to trip her on the way back.

BURNING SWORD // ───‎ ⋆ GUIDE MY HAND‎ ‎‎ ‎‎☽

• ooc ↛
  

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• 
  NIGHTBIRD ✩ she/her, lead warrior of thunderclan, 36 ☾'s
  ⭃ a small black smoke molly with a white paw and pale silver eyes. currently a queen residing in the nursery.
  ⭃ mate to raccoonstripe / / currently mentoring none.
  ⭃ peaceful and healing powerplay permitted / / underline and tag when attacking ↛ see battle info here
  ⭃ penned by vayle ↛ @vayl3 on discord, feel free to dm for plots.
  

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