I'M ON A SUGARCRASH &. smogmaw

[CHILLEDSTAR.]

DON'T YOU GIVE ME UP, PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP

of all the cats in the clan that they could truly trust... they didn't know how many there were. most of shadowclan was selfish and rude. take halfshade for example. she was vain. if she had been the one in the beautiful fairytale about being so in love with one's own appearance, surely the witch would have an absolute field day with her. her motives were questionable and chilledgaze didn't trust that she wouldn't turn on anyone for the sake of making sure that her fur still looked nice as she trekked through the territories, head held higher than the rest. chilledgaze ignored her for that very reason and the trees whispered almost loudly about how much she didn't like the deputy. she held a grudge, and it seemed very pointless now.

then there were cats like dogfur. a little out there and though he had that crazy smile about him, and seemed to have a craving for blood, they didn't think that dogfur would rip their throat out without a second thought. maybe some other cats outside of the clan which likely frowned upon, but not the dep- uh, leader. chilledgaze was leader now and they weren't ready, far from it. but they had something to prove. they were meant to be leader, even if they didn't believe it just yet. they just needed to have a chance to fall apart. just once. why couldn't anyone allow them that? why did they have to be so strong all the time? and why were they hated for being a cat with emotion? tch.

they didn't want to think on it anymore. they had yet to even move their nest in pitchstar's den, which was now theirs. they would, just not yet. they needed to go to moonstone and starlingheart was going to be with them, but they needed another. sure, chilledgaze could just as easily protect starlingheart from anything that may have been around but they did not have eyes on the back of their head. they needed another. they needed–

"smogmaw. come, walk with me. i need to talk to you. and keep up."

they flick their tail before heading out of camp. they knew of smogmaw's ambitious ways but they also knew of his loyalty. they only hoped that they would remain that way towards them as they went through this change.

@smogmaw
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[smogstar]

A gruesome image festers in the innermost parts of Smogmaw's mind.

The limp husk of someone he knew very well. Not quite a friend, yet a comrade all the same. Eyes which lay languid in their sockets, totally devoid of that essence of being alive, and blind to the gory scene around them. Blood mats his fur in congealed and dried clots. The amount of wounds tearing across his body is simply staggering, giving the impression he did not die fighting, but a victim. And if the immemorial look in his eyes was anything to go off, Pitchstar had also died betrayed.

Betrayed by whom, though? Perhaps StarClan? The rosette tabby did lose the remainder of his lives in a single, violent attack—in a manner similar to both Emberstar and his own mother. Smogmaw can imagine how forsaken he'd feel if the same were to happen to him.

Still, there's simply so much left to be learned about Pitchstar's demise, and it's the uncertainty that vexes him the most.

His pewter furs are but a lustre in the night's dimness. Sitting on his lonesome by the warrior's den, he keeps his gaze held firm towards the camp entrace, lost in a profound reverie. When Chilledgaze crosses his line of vision, he's summoned to the present. He blinks only once, nodding quickly at the dark-toned feline's simple command.

Pitchstar is no longer a part of the equation, and thus, Smogmaw is left to start anew. His new leader is leagues more difficult to read than the previous one; he could have his way with Pitch by utilising his paranoia, painting his closest confidants as dishonest snakes. Chilled operates differently. They're just as emotionally volatile, but in lieu of turning on their own people, they're susceptible to turning on themself.

He follows without hesitation, seeking to trail their flank closely at a similar speed. "What'll you have of me?" he asks, as a flurry of hypotheticals swarm across his mind.

Perhaps, he may get the most out of them by simply being there, functioning as an emotional pillar of some sort—and earning their trust through a genuine method, rather than a deceitful one. ​

 

[CHILLEDSTAR.]

DON'T YOU GIVE ME UP, PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP​

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chilledgaze didn't want this conversation to go on forever. it was a quick stroll. a quick and brisk walk, both to get some air and to ask smogmaw a pressing question. they'd yet to address the clan on pitchstar's untimely demise, and they knew they'd have to. but not before this conversation. not before they had some sort of security, even if it only lasted for a moment before their mind started to race once more.

"i won't keep you long. i didn't think this would even be a conversation i need to have any time soon but with pitchstar..."

they paused in their steps once they realized that they were far enough from camp to have not been followed, but close enough that it wouldn't keep them away from it too long. they were certainly feeling uneasy being out here. that rogue... had to still be out here. shadowclan would easily lose many to the brute, especially after missing so many meals.

"i must travel to moonstone so that i can be blessed by the stars. assuming they wish for me to lead shadowclan, as pitchstar had wished. starlingheart has to go with me as it seems to be... tradition. but i need for you to come along with me."

they stopped, trying to see his reaction to such words. they were curious, but their face doesn't reveal such emotions. it doesn't reveal much of anything at all.

"don't let this go to your head. you are a strong warrior and i can appreciate that. more so, starlingheart cannot defend herself and i cannot defend the both of us. so we need another. i'd like for it to be you."

it wasn't even a question, though it may have sounded like a suggestion. it wasn't. chilledgaze had made up their mind, and now that they were leader— they weren't going to let it go to their head. they simply were just trying to see how this interaction would go. it would determine a lot of fates– even if smogmaw didn't know it.
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