- Aug 7, 2022
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I FEEL LIKE AN ASTRONAUT IN THE OCEAN
// this thread takes place nine days after quills fight with the npc. trigger warnings for mention of poor self-image and a bad home life. please wait for @TWITCHPAW to post first :)
Quill was no stranger to the role of villain.
He'd played it out on the streets of two-leg place while running wild with the other cats his age, as well as found himself thrust into the role in his home-life as well, where his mother could hardly meet his gaze and his father looked at him like he was the enemy. Avoidance. Impatience. Disgust. Regret. These were all things he was familiar with. But time had hardened his skin and his heart against such things, to the point where he could stare blank-faced at his screaming father and feel just as empty as he looked.
Sometimes, it was just better to feel and hear nothing at all.
And usually, when all the looks or yelling was over, Quill was perfectly fine going on with his day as if it meant nothing to him- as if it hadnt happened in the first place. It was a practice that was easy to perfect when you cared so little for your surroundings and the cats that surrounded you, and back in twoleg place it had been an adequate way for him to keep what sanity he had left.
In Skyclan, not so much.
Quill didn't want to admit it, because in some ways he definitely still had his pride. It wasn't easy for him to admit that he was bothered by things, and so in those first few days after the incident he pretended he was just as happy to avoid the clan as they were to avoid him. Thistlebacks training had helped with that, and while Quill despised the fact that he was essentially under constant watch of the older tom and being made to jump through hoops at every turn, it did give him the excuse he needed to avoid his feelings on the rest of it. He didn't have to think about which cats were avoiding him or which would look at him with disappointment or sympathy. He just had to wake up at the fucking crack of dawn and train until he wanted to collapse.
On the bright side, Quill was no longer having issue sleeping. The intensity and frequency of his training with Thistle had him absolutely worn out by the time he was allowed to collapse into his nest at the end of the day, and in a way he was grateful for that too.
At around day five he began to experience something unusual though, a development that had never taken hold in the past when this sort of thing would happen. Quill was the sort of cat that could cut ties and avoid someone forever if he wanted to, because nobody Quill knew was ever close to him. And it was still that way. The cats here knew so little about him and so much of his time was spent independently.
So why the fuck was it bothering him so much that Twitch hadnt spoken to him since that day?
In the beginning Quill had told himself it was nothing short of what he deserved. He'd scared the hell out of a bunch of cats that day and Twitchpaw had never seen him act like that in any of the time they'd spent together. The chimera knew they were paranoid, and he'd expected them to be wary of him afterward. But the days had slipped on and still, nothing. Everytime Quill was anywhere in the general vicinity the other tom made sure to get the hell out of dodge before they had a chance to interact, and by the ninth day Quill was growing, well, not desperate, but something akin to it. Even Butterflypaw was talking to him again, and Fireflypaw. So what the hell was taking Twitchpaw so long? Again, he found himself forced to make decision.
He could either do what he always did vand leave things alone. Stay stubborn in the face of the truth and dig in his heels. It would be exactly what the indifferent, uncaring youth was expected to do with a personality like his. Or, he could admit that he didn't like being ignored by the other tom and try and do something about it. The only issue with that was Quill had no idea how to fix what he'd broken. Apologizing wasnt something he had a lot of experience with, and Twitchpaw wasnt a normal cat. Not that a simple 'sorry for trying to kill a guy in front of you' would work to begin with.
That morning when he left with Thistleback to hunt, he'd made his decision. Twitch couldnt avoid Quill if the chimera didn't let them avoid him anymore, so thats what he was going to do. The mahogany apprentice had made the tabby uncomfortable by ignoring him, so now Quill was going to play hardball and make them uncomfortable by invading the giant bubble of personal space they'd invoked after Quills fight.
He'd gotten a few critical words from his mentor that morning after purposefully spooking away the first three pieces of prey he'd been instructed to catch, responding each time with the same dead-pan 'oops' that declared just how not sorry he actually was. And that's because Quill wasn't interested in squirrels or mice, or shrews, or even the fattest vole he'd ever seen in his life.
No, Quill wanted a bird.
And he'd gotten it. It had taken longer than a hunting trip probably should, but when he came padding back into camp that day it was with a plump bluejay clasped between his jaws. Mismatched eyes scanned the clearing for the familiar bi-colored coat of the apprentice he was looking for, and the moment he spotted them broke off from Thistleback to make his way toward them. His steps were swift and purposeful, and this time if Twitchpaw tried to bail, Quill was prepared to intercept him.
He was tired of being ignored.
By some stroke of luck though, Twitchpaw didnt seem to notice he'd returned to camp and was heading their way. But they were sure to notice the massive shadow cast over them as Quillpaw silently came to a looming standstill right beside the smaller apprentice.
With a soft thud, the blue jay landed at their paws.
"Hey."
skyclan - male - 8 months - bisexual - homoromantic - single - very tall tabby tomcat with broad shoulders
