pafp I'm scared to be alone - failed catch

[tigerwing]

It has been a lot harder to focus, to remember the details Whitelion offered to the young torbie. She was trying her hardest, but her mind was clouded, doing anything to distract herself. to not think about her friends on the journey. her mother disappearance.

it was hard to say that her mother was not dead. she has slowly realized and recognized the scent of blood. the metallic smell and taste in her mouth of sickness.

the same scent her mother held, but vaguely different. it was not Yellowcough, but she felt there was a sickness of some sort that clung to the females pelt.

She shook her head, not softly no, but it was very obvious she was shaking away the memories, teeth biting into her cheek in anxiety. She had to focus, she was supposed to bring back prey that Whitelion had asked her to track. He was somewhere nearby, she could smell his scent. Tigerpaw inhaled softly, green optics disappearing behind eyelids as she attempted to focus on the task at hand.

The scent before her was close- very close. It smelled of the mouse from the freshkill pile. An older scent of another creature- a bird? It must've been earlier in the day, but it was hard to tell.

Limber legs pulled her body through the undergrowth, and surprisingly, she had gotten the silent stalking down, her rump low to the ground, her paws careful.

She would finally spot the small creature, its form facing away from her. It should have been an easy catch. It should have brought food to the table, but her breath caught as she finally spotted it. A pawstep foreward, her heart fluttering quickly, and the idea of blood marring the small creature just trying to survive got her to hesitate longer than she should have.

It's head lifted, and for a second, their eye contact did not break. Concerned eyes met eyes filled with fear, and another second, the mouse was gone.

Her form slumped, her body pulling into a sitting position with her tail wrapped gently around her paws. Her ears folded back, and her head drooped in a saddened position.

She could not bare to harm the mouse that was practically in her claws. And that meant she failed, didn't it? A small sniffle noise would come from the girl, her lips beginning to tremble as she tried to fight the feelings of disappointment flooding her mind. "I- I'm sorry," she said, her voice breaking as she heard what she could only assume was Whitelion approaching behind her. "I hesitated. I, got scared."

please wait for @WHITELION !!//

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[WHITELION]

make peace with your broken pieces .
︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

It didn’t escape Whitelion’s notice, seeing Tigerpaw more in her head than what was happening. He couldn’t blame her. Of course, the bulky male wasn’t sure what filled her head, but he had an idea, so he said nothing. How could he when his heart was split in two? Tiresome, but he had hope, childish some might believe, but without hope, without something to fight for, then what?

It would destroy them quicker than any of them could imagine and that was something Whitelion couldn’t bear to see, no less stand idly by. He had a mate, resting ill inside the medicine cat den, nearly tearing his claws out, but he had his apprentices to teach, and watch blossom with or without his guidance.

He breathed, flank rising to take in the familiar smell of Thunderclan, calming the turbulent emotions rattling inside his head. He urged his paws forward, catching the tail end of a quiet sniffle, tattered ear perking up in concern for his apprentice, worried something happened until the silent shutter of an apology filtered through his ears. “There is no need for apologies.” He rumbled, resting a milky white tail against her flank in a comforting gesture. “It is alright to make mistakes, as much as it may be disappointing to fail, there is no need for your tears.” He rumbled, turning his head to peer into the foliage. “You did good, noticing what you did wrong, but what matters is what you’ll do to fix them.” He turned, staring at the apprentice through his peripheral.

“Tell me. Why did you hesitate?” He inquired, golden optic crinkling in curiosity. ​

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thought speech​

 

[WOLFWIND]

Stuff like this happens. And when you're a fresh apprentice, you convince yourself that the entire world was riding on your first catch being spectacular. You picture fat rabbits and plump squirrels; the sort of thing your fellow apprentices would love to share and that the elders are more than pleased to recieve – of course, that was all glitz and glam, and the fact is: your first catch is probably going to be the most normal mouse of all time. That, and – it'll take you a few tries.

What's weird about this one is that, it's not a failed pounce or bad crouch or nothing, but rather, Tigerpaw doesn't seem to do much of anything. Wolfwind quirks a brow, and she's privy to the skitter of the mouse flitting away. Huh. Pale ears flicker, Wolfwind glances to Whitelion, wondering what he would have to say to his apprentice. She's ready to step in and give a breathtaking, inspirational speech as needed. Whitelion does a fine (and by fine, she means, like, ok) job on his own, though, and the warrior would nod in agreement. Then, a supplemental question, since she's curious. " Yeah, whaddya' scared of? Mice hardly have claws to bat ya with, y'know? " Afraid of mice would be a new one, for sure.

OOC ✨ 9.5.2023 BET MY MONEY ON A STUPID HORSE, I LOST THAT

•  

• 

• [ SO I RAN OUT TO THE TRACK TO GET MY CASH BACK ] WOLFWIND THUNDERCLAN LEAD WARRIOR! LITTERMATE 2 LAKEMOON; KIN TO MANY.
  —— SHE / HER, CONFUSED BY BUT NOT OPPOSED TO THE USE OF OTHERS
  —— CURRENTLY 22 MOONS OLD. AGES EVERY 1ST.
  
  FRIEND TO MANY! UPBEAT AND UPFRONT. MOVES THROUGH LIFE WITH AN UPBEAT EXTERIOR AND BRIGHT EYES. MAKE NO MISTAKE! TAKES HER JOB VERY SERIOUSLY. THERE'S IMPORTANCE IN SAFETY, RECKLESSNESS ONLY GETS YOU SO FAR. ONCE A FOOL, BUT NO LONGER

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[GRIZZLYJAW]

✦ Grizzlyjaw had definitely been there to watch as Tigerpaw let's the mouse escape from her claws and he couldn't help but frown in the slightest, it makes him wonder what had made her hesitate but Whitelion was already comforting the apprentice and offered kind words. A feathered ear would flick hearing that the little molly had been scared and it makes him wonder if it was from the mouse or other reasons but he does not prod simply out of respect and Whitelion and Wolfwind already speaking to Tigerpaw. He'd offer comforting words but none are willed from his jaws, he cannot think of any from the top of his head.

His bottlebrush tail lashing briefly behind him and he finally offers "You'll get it next time," His voice briefly gentle before he gives a small roll of his shoulders not uttering another word. They couldn't really risk losing prey especially with so many sick to feed and the journey cats having left them all to get the cure for yellowcough, it makes him wonder if they were proving to be successful or if any of them had died. He silently hopes that's not the case but who knows.

✦ HE'S A POOL-SHOOTIN' SON OF A GUN

• 
  ✦ 50 moons old
  ✦ thunderclan warrior
  ✦ bisexual demiromantic, mates w/honeydapple
  ✦ "speech", thoughts, attacking
  ✦ difficult in combat; relies on brute strength, street smarts, and his large size
  ✦ peaceful powerplay allowed
  ✦ penned by bosstaurus

​

 

[tigerwing]

Whitelion would approach, offering a tone as gentle as the bed they would lay down on when the sky would grow dark, when stars and fireflies combined to dance above sleeping heads...

and they meant something, they did. but she searched the ground for answers that weren't there, unable to look him in the eyes. she didn't disappoint herself as much as she felt she disappointed him. but.. he seemed supportive. and she could feel her breath even out a bit with the comfort. he would ask why she would hesitate, and even still as her mouth gently opened, they quivered back closed.

she wasn't scared about her catch being enough, or perfect fortunately, she just... she couldn't see herself killing that mouse. her gaze watched as paws flicked out of her toes and dug into the dirt, gulping nervously. her claws could kill the being in a split second, sending it's form into the afterlife, and giving that... that stare that never would appear as if looking so far away.

wolfwind continued on as if she may have been scared of the mouse and her chocolate and orange ears flattened backwards. "isn't it crazy," she started, eyes still stuck to her claws, "that we have the ability to strip life from a creature, and we're supposed to have no..." she couldn't think of the word. but her stomach flipped and she swallowed back the fear of even saying this. "I'm not scared of the mouse... I'm scared of taking his life.."

She shuffled her shoulders, her head lowering a bit more in disappointment. she wanted to be brave, and she didn't quite understand why she couldn't be lately. the world was scary. and every day she learned about more things that were dangerous that she didn't know before.

"I just got in my head, next time I'll try to ignore it, like you said, theres next time." the tortie tried to lift her head up, and take a breath, hoping to let that unfamiliar air of disappointment flow off of her. "It'll be okay, we can.. we can try again now?"

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[RACCOONSTRIPE]

“Prey exists to sustain us.” The broad-chested dark tabby pads from the nearby undergrowth. His own young apprentice pads just behind him; he’s glad, for once, hoping Rainbowpaw will learn this lesson well. Raccoonstripe regards Tigerpaw with a stern expression that flicks to both her mentor and Wolfwind. He finds no fault with the way Whitelion had educated the young she-cat, but it’d be remiss of him as a lead warrior not to say something further.

“You may be expected to take a life in battle one day.” He directs this to both young apprentices. “Prey exists for us to eat it so we can protect our Clans. Don’t confuse a cat’s life for a mouse’s.” Something flickers behind his eyes, memories and nightmares that never leave, but he says nothing further. He nods to both Wolfwind and Whitelion before leading Rainbowpaw away, back through the undergrowth.

ooc ✧ 𝘨𝘰𝘵 𝘢 𝘣𝘢𝘥𝘨𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘺 𝘴𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘴 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘥𝘢𝘺

• out ; @RAINBOWKIT but feel free to just say he was here since Wolfie is too
•  
• 

  — raccoon . raccoonstripe
  — he/him ; lead warrior of thunderclan
  — heteroflexible ; single
  — long-haired black tabby with white and dark brown eyes
  — “speech”, thoughts, attack
  — penned by Marquette
  — chibi by Rai

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[& RAINBOWPAW]

Afraid to take prey’s live. Rainbowpaw has never thought of that. Not really.

He can understand it, though. When you’re scared, it’s easy to feel more like a squirrel or a mouse than you did a cat. Sometimes you wanna hide. Sometimes you wanna run from things. Rainbowpaw didn’t think it was the craziest thing ever, to imagine yourself as a piece of prey. And that’d make the cats that hunt you so much scarier, wouldn’t it? Rainbowpaw wouldn’t want to be hunted. No, not really.

He doesn’t think he would ever see himself as a squirrel or as a mouse, but he could understand why someone else might.

Prey exists to sustain us, his mentor says, and Rainbowpaw wonders if they existed to sustain badgers or foxes the same way. Did yellowcough need to be sustained on them? Surely, yellowcough wasn’t alive.

" Maybe mice die protecting their family the same way that warriors do, " Rainbowpaw offers, their smile only slight. " That's kind of noble, isn't it? " Rainbowpaw isn’t completely sure. But they’d die if they didn’t eat, right? Rainbowpaw tilts their head, just slightly. " It’s okay, Tigerpaw. " And then they’re following behind their mentor, pale paws crunching atop fallen leaves.

『 OOC 🎠 DO YOU EVER WANT NOTHING AT ALL? 』

• OOC: out w/ racc!
  

• 

• ( I DO, I DO, I DO ) RAINBOWPAW: Sunfreckle xx Rabbitnose. Mentored by Raccoonstripe
  ✦ he / they ; fine with gendered terms ( tom / boy / brother / etc . . . )
  ✦ currently 4 moons old as of 10/11/2023 ; ages every 25
  
  warm - faced and bright - eyed, rainbowkit sports boyish features and an easygoing smile. sports long curling whiskers and a dip of sun - red down the length of their neck. growing into themselves; rainbowpaw is showing signs of growing into an above - average height with a somewhat leggy frame. rainbowpaw is most plainly to be described as kind, his most tangible goals and motives being to make the people around him happy. somewhat aloof when it comes to more complex / outer clan issues. lives in the present first and foremost.

• this is for cute purposes begone.

​

 

[WHITELION]

make peace with your broken pieces .
︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

He waited, watching Wolfwind and Grizzlyjaw with a welcoming dip of his helm, watching his apprentice, letting out a quiet rumble, hoping to comfort his temporary apprentice. It was then that she spoke, offering words that Whitelion couldn’t help but remember things mentioned moons ago. I see. He understood her concern, but even so, as Racoonstripe put it, prey allowed them to live and without it, they would reap the consequences.

“If you ignore it, then it will only fester until it becomes too much.” He offered, staring at Tigerpaw with a crinkled optic. “We may not be alike, mice and us, but we hunt and forage, all in the same.” He hummed. “We may feel sad, taking another life, but if we allow them to fester, it will damage all that we stand upon.” He smiled warmly. “It is alright, perhaps Batwing will aid you on your path more than I could, but do not feel ashamed.” He spoke genuinely, reaching to rest a bushy tail on the apprentice’s shoulder before pulling away. Life is a precious thing, but one must understand that fragile balance. He mused.

“Let’s continue, shall we?”

/ playing catch-up ! sorry for the late post *sweatdrops* ​

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thought speech​