private i'm sorry, i'm so sorry [🕊️] hail

[Needledrift]

A time before the clans. It was harder and harder to picture that time now, a receding memory that had slowly been replaced by the names of every leader, deputy, medicine cat, and warrior that ShadowClan had lost. The time before the clans was one that few cats cared to remember, but now Needledrift found that time coming back to her. Suddenly, she was part of the marsh colony again and the ThunderClan loss of Little Wolf was the marsh colony's own and for that, she felt guilty.

Little Wolf didn't belong to the marsh colony - to ShadowClan - anymore. Her death was not for Needledrift to grieve. The loss of the mother, the friend, the lover, that grief should be reserved for her children, her clanmates, her mate...

And yet.... Needledrift would want to have somebody to share in her sadness if she lost... say.... Ferndance. She wouldn't care if it was a cat from another clan, a cat that had only known her silly she-cat companion for five minutes or a cat that had known her for five seasons. She would feel better to know that she would be remembered over all else.

Little Wolf had died being the best warrior she could be, but with that she had to leave behind home and family and love. So much love. Needledrift's eyes shift from the ground in front of her (one paw then the next, keep moving even if you want to cry) to Hailstorm, a little to her left.

"You know... you've inspired me a little." She begins lightly. "There's a she-cat back home... back in ShadowClan, I mean. She's my best friend and I... I love her, but I was scared of it before. I think I'll tell her when I get back."

@HAILSTORM. ​

 

[GENTLESTORM]

✦ Hailstorm was not doing well with the loss of one of his best friends who just happened to be his lover even if their time together as such was cut short by that mangy eagle. The thought of eating bird again sickens him and makes his stomach twist in various ways, his throat tightening and nausea presenting itself for a heartbeat. He thinks about how the world would feel empty without Little Wolf, at least, for the first few seasons or even longer knowing that he would never be able to make a joke that made her laugh or smile so much that the corner of her eyes would crinkle. They'd never be able to call each other dumb little nicknames and grin about it, they'd never share prey again, and he would never feel her dark fur brush against his own. He'd never hear her voice again nor comfort her in her time of need.

It makes him feel empty and a sharp ache in his chest knowing that these were all things that he simply had to accept, it was going to be the rest of his life until he drew his final breath and would be reunited with her once more in the stars. But for now, he had to live even if that alone seemed more challenging without her by his side... He would do it, he had promised to get the lungwort back to Duskpaw and the rest of Thunderclan much like the other warriors that had come along this journey. His bundle of lungwort a little bigger than the rest as he decided to carry some of Little Wolf's load and he made sure to take extra care of it, he rarely left it unwatched.

The sudden voice at his side makes him glance up to see that it was Needledrift and his dull gaze would take her in, become attentive. He can't help but feel one of his nonexistent eyebrows quirk at what she says next and Hailstorm cannot decide whether it's kind or some sort of mockery that she had a loved one to return to. "I wouldn't find myself all that inspiring..." He begins with a sad half-smile pulling his bundle of herbs closer to him and tries to figure out how to respond, what he would say. He's much too tired emotionally and mentally to feel any envy or anger towards Needledrift only deciding to be as pleasant as he could attempt to be. A best friend turned lover, he was all still so freshly familiar to that.

"I think that's... A good idea." The mountain of fur continues with a slow nod of his head and can't help but remember when Little Wolf had confessed to him within the caves, death could've been hanging over their heads at that moment but it had been forgotten with a simple yet meaningful "I love you". There's a long pause and silence from Hailstorm as he tries to figure out what he would say next trying to turn the gears in his head but he was simply too tired in all forms and words tumble from his jaws without his complete knowing "I'm happy for you, Needledrift." Despite how dull his dark copper gaze was, he truly meant it.

* ˚✦ YOU FOUND ME HERE; UNDERGROUND

• 
  ✦ 48 moons old
  ✦ thunderclan warrior
  ✦ bisexual demiromantic; mates with little wolf
  ✦ "speech", thoughts, attacking
  ✦ semi-difficult in combat; relies on strength and his burly build
  ✦ peaceful powerplay allowed
  ✦ penned by bosstaurus

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